Chapter 43
Sean burst into the room and heard Jennie in the bathroom. He rounded the corner and saw her on the toilet, trying not to cry; he dropped to his knees and held her hands. “What’s going on?”
Jennie winced, and she shook her head. “It’s okay. The doctor said that this might happen—Gah!” She bent forward, almost headbutting Sean in the nose, but he managed to get out of the way just in time.
Sean held her hands, wishing he could make the pain go away, but he was powerless to help.
When the rush of pain finally subsided, Jennie lifted her head. Her eyes were bloodshot, not from crying, but from the pain, and she retained a smile, though it was a shadow of her normally vibrant happiness.
“I’m sorry,” Jennie said, whispering.
“No,” Sean replied, shaking his head and putting a gentle hand against her cheek, which was hot to the touch. “Don’t do that. This was not your fault. It was never your fault.”
“It doesn’t feel like it, though,” Jennie said.
“But it’s true,” Sean said. “The doctor said the same thing, and I want you to say it, Jennie.”
Jennie’s mouth quivered, and she shook her head. “I can’t.”
“Yes, you can,” Sean said. “The baby is gone, but it’s not your fault.”
Jennie started to cry.
“I love you,” Sean said, his own voice cracking with grief.
“I love you, too,” Jennie said.
Sean gently touched his forehead to Jennie’s, and they held one another in silence, drawing on each other’s strength, trying to find their footing in a world that had been turned upside down and knocked them on their ass.
Jennie finally pulled back and let go of Sean’s hands. “I need a minute to get cleaned up,” Jennie said.
“Okay,” Sean said, and he stood, quietly leaving the bathroom as he gently shut the door behind him.
Julie, who had heard Jennie’s cries of pain, was standing in the hallway outside their hotel room. She had her hands clasped together, and it looked like she had tears in her eyes, too.
Sean wasn’t sure how much she had heard, but he supposed that the cat was out of the bag now. “We just need a little privacy.”
“Oh, yes, oh my God, of course,” she said, and then she quickly jettisoned down the hallway.
Sean waited in the room, no longer caring about the people in the lobby or what they’d do to Luke if they managed to open that door or kick it down. All he was thinking about was Jennie.
When she stepped out, her eyes were still red, but she was more composed. She didn’t smile at him, but she grabbed him by the hand and led him back toward the bed where they sat together, still holding hands.
“I know you’re trying to help,” Jennie said. “And I love you for that. But it’s just going to take time for me to come to terms with losing the baby.”
Sean nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be, really,” Jennie said. “This isn’t about me making you feel bad; it’s…me trying to tell you that I’m not ready to hear it. But I will one day. Just not right now.”
Sean nodded again and then glanced around the room. “Maybe we shouldn’t have come.”
“I told you I wanted to come,” Jennie said. “And I meant it. It was just…” She gestured to the bathroom, then made a swirling motion. “Bad timing.” She scoffed. “Not that there is a good time to have a miscarriage.”
The doctor had told Sean that it would take some time for Jennie’s body to pass the fetus naturally. At this stage, there was no form; it would just be a lot of blood.
“Do you think that was…” Sean couldn’t even bring himself to finish it.
“Yes, I do,” Jennie said, and then she frowned. “I’d been dreading it, but now that it’s done, I feel relieved. I don’t know if that makes me a bad person.”
“It doesn’t,” Sean said. “You’re not capable of being a bad person.”
“I’m not sure my mother would have agreed with you,” Jennie said. “You didn’t know me in my rebellious teenage years.” She smiled and then laughed. “One time she caught me smoking cigarettes, and I flicked the butt into her face.”
“Are you serious?” Sean asked.
Jennie laughed. “I know it’s not funny, but she was so mad. My dad had to stop her from slapping me.” She shook her head. “He probably should have let her do it.”
Jennie settled down again and then leaned her head against Sean’s shoulder. “I’m sorry this weekend has turned out this way.”
“Don’t be,” Sean said. “I should be the one apologizing to you.”
Jennie sat up and turned toward him, sitting cross-legged on the bed. “How are things going out there?”
“We don’t have to talk about the case now,” Sean answered.
“I want to, really,” Jennie said. “It’ll help distract me.”
“Okay,” Sean said, and then he cleared his throat. “People are losing patience. I get it, though. Forensics will be the deciding factor in this case. But I don’t think we’ll get the results in time to make a difference.”
“What about that mobster?” Jennie asked. “You still haven’t found him.”
“He might not be here,” Sean answered. “Maybe he was before, but there is nowhere else for him to hide, unless he’s somehow managed to bury himself out in the snow and survive.”
“It sounded like it was getting heated out there,” Jennie said.
“That’s one way to put it,” Sean replied.
“Talk to them,” Jennie replied. “Give them the old Sean Callahan charm.”
“They don’t want to hear it,” Sean said. “I’ve tried already.”
“So, try harder,” Jennie said. “Talk to them like you’re talking to me. They’re only angry because they’re afraid. Make them not be afraid anymore. You do that better than anyone I know.”
“That’s high praise,” Sean said. “But I’m not sure I’m up to the task.”
Jennie gently pinched Sean’s chin between her thumb and forefinger and then turned his head to face her.
“You listen to me,” Jennie said. “You’re a damned good sheriff and an even better investigator.
You see things others don’t. That’s what makes you different.
But you also lead with your heart. And that’s something that’s not just rare among law enforcement; it’s rare among people, too.
” She gestured to the hallway. “So, go on. Let them know everything is going to be all right.”
Sean appreciated the confidence, but after the day he’d had, he wasn’t sure he could do it. But he would try.
For Jennie, he would do anything.