CHAPTER 23 #2
“Yep. The more risqué, the more you get paid. I guess some men are into pregnant women. You could totally play the schoolgirl, with your short skirt and knee-high socks.”
“Jayda, I’m not showing up to class looking like Britney Spears circa nineteen ninety-eight. This is college, for fucks sake. No one wears knee-high socks.”
“Suit yourself. But I’m telling you, a young thing like you, with your toned little thighs and short skirts, would make a lot of bank.”
I shook my head in a desperate bid not to seriously consider what she was suggesting. “Don’t you have to verify your age, or something? I’d be outing myself with an ID.”
“Not on this site. Don’t know how they get away with it, but they do. Look, it’s not like you’re making a career out of it, Lilia. A few videos, and you could be back on track with tuition. Shit, they might like the schoolgirl thing and you could make tuition with a single video.”
God, I hated the way she made it sound so damn easy and enticing. That all my problems could potentially be solved in a single conversation with her. “Do I have to make any sounds?”
“They just like the wet sounds.”
“Well, this just keeps getting worse.” I groaned, and she shushed me.
“You don’t have to moan, or anything. But maybe do it where other people are talking, so they know it’s in public.”
Covering my eyes with a palm, I huffed. “This is just … wrong.”
“Look, Conner is an asshole. He’s never gonna be there for you and Bee, okay?
And now that he’s hooked up with Angelo?
Any hope of decency is gone. You gotta figure shit out yourself, Lilia.
Remember when I said be audacious ? Don’t let a man take away this dream.
Do whatever the fuck you gotta do to keep it. ”
She was right, damn it. Relying on Conner was like praying for snow in Hell.
As decent as the guy might’ve been, he just wasn’t cut out for dad shit.
Uprooting Bee and throwing her into the same space as Angelo, and whatever criminal shit he had going on, would’ve been detrimental.
I needed to take the reins on things. To figure things out myself.
When she graduated, it’d be on her, but until then, I needed to step up.
“How is it possible for me to hate and love you at the same time?”
Jayda chuckled. “You love me more than you hate me.”
“True.” I blew out a resigned breath and glanced around my room, wishing I could’ve just done the video there. But as Jayda had said–the more risqué, the more money, and I couldn’t think of anything more risqué than in class. “Okay, I got my midnight lab coming up, so I need to let you go.”
“Take care of yourself. And let me know if you decide to do it.”
“I will.” The moment I hung up the phone, I thumped my palm to my forehead and shot Jayda a quick text.
I forgot to ask the name of the site?
VoyeurBait.
Even the name has to be creepy right?
Ignore the name
I slipped out of bed, and on an exasperated sigh, I stared out the window at the courtyard below.
Students bustled about, looking as carefree as birds hopping to and fro.
I couldn’t help but wonder if any of them were trying to wrap their heads around some massive roadblock in life right then, or were actual classes their only source of stress?
Why the hell does my life have to be such a mess all the time?
As I scanned over the grounds, I caught sight of something off in the distance. Squinting, I leaned forward, peering through the window toward the oak between Shanlot Hall and the clock tower.
A figure cloaked in a long cape and what looked very much like a plague doctor’s mask.
A sharp breath flew out of me, as I stumbled backward, tripping over my desk chair, and landed with a hard thud on my ass. Hot needles of pain shot up my spine, and I flinched, pushing to my feet. When I stared out the window again, I saw nothing there. Only students walking about.
Great. Not only is my life a shit show, but I’m still seeing things that don’t exist.
With a huff, I fell onto my bed and rested my head against my palms.
My phone screen lit up with a text from Bee.
Hey, is everything okay? I tried to buy snacks with my food pass earlier and it says it was reduced.
I wanted to cry right then.
Everything is fine. Just a little confusion with your account, is all. The reduction is temporary.
It’s fine, Lil. I don’t need to be eating snacks between meals anyway. Just wanted make sure all was okay.
I wanted to tell her it wasn’t. That I was on the verge of tears trying to figure out what to do. Instead, I texted back:
No worries, all is great!
If you and Conner are having a hard time right now, I can get a job. I’m going to be seventeen, you know?
Her offer would’ve been wonderful, but I didn’t have the heart to remind her of the last job she’d taken a few months back, which had swiftly come to an end when she’d had one of her episodes and screamed at one of the patrons.
She’d thrown a milkshake in the woman’s face, ultimately ending her very short stint at the ice cream shop.
Not that I was free from having suffered episodes myself, but mine, so far, hadn’t resulted in attacking anyone.
No need. Just a temporary issue.
Okay! How’s Dracadia?
It’s beautiful. Like Hogwarts without the wands.
Ah cool. Can’t wait to see you at Christmas.
Same. Love you.
Love you too.
Fuck. I was going to do it, wasn’t I? I was really going to film myself in class.
But when?
Lab would be perfect. The TA usually lectured for the first twenty minutes of class, and we all had our own benches with cupboards at either side. Mine was the back bench, which meant no one would see me. Not unless Spencer got snoopy, all of a sudden.
The thought made my stomach curl.
Two hundred dollars, Lilia. Two hundred that could reduce the two thousand still owed .
The decision slowly cemented itself in my head. I was really going to do it.