Chapter Twenty-Six
Winter
I wake up to an empty bed and a note on the nightstand that says there’s a surprise waiting for me in the kitchen. After yesterday, I’m not sure I want any more surprises. But I find myself going anyway, smelling something faintly like…bacon in the air.
Then I see a piece of paper taped to the microwave. Walking over, I tear it off and scan the words written in ink.
I’ll explain everything today.
Don’t look at your phone.
There’s breakfast in the microwave for you.
Everything will be okay.
~ T
He can’t promise that today will be okay, yet I find myself…trusting him. It’s an odd feeling, one I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before.
Because I refused to feel it.
I need you, I told him last night. And for the first time ever, I realized that I meant it. I need somebody other than Kourtney—a person who isn’t obligated to love me because of blood, but because they want to.
Opening the microwave, I stare silently at the plate of food.
Eggs, bacon, sausage, and toast all greet me as I pull it out and set it on the counter.
None of these things were in my kitchen before he came over.
Which means that Thomas had to have gone out and bought the ingredients, brought them back here, and cooked them.
The dishes are washed and in the drying rack.
The counters are clean.
Only the smell lingers.
I swallow.
Thomas cooked for me.
My heart feels warm all of a sudden.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and get ready to text him when I see a new message from Janel.
And that warmth grows cold quickly.
Janel: We need to talk. Come to my office when you get in, please
My appetite leaves in an instant. I knew this was coming. Last night could only last for so long before reality came back. Thomas made sure every second was worth it, though. My body is sore in the best ways possible.
I force myself to eat the entire plate of food because he put in the effort to do this for me when he didn’t have to. I shower, change, and look at myself in the mirror.
I’m not sure I know who the girl looking back at me is. She’s different, but not in a bad way. I miss my pink hair and my bright nails, and I have every intention of getting them back. Hopefully, I’ll still have a job so I can buy new hair dye and nail polish.
It’ll be okay. I have to believe Thomas is right, because if I don’t, then I have no idea what comes next. I can’t make him fix the problems I created for myself; I have to own up to them. Take responsibility.
Which is why I find myself knocking on Janel’s door not even an hour later. I have to remind my heart not to beat out of my chest when I see her.
“Shut the door, please,” my boss tells me.
The only positive thing is that her office lacks an HR representative. Maybe they’ll come in after she breaks the news that I’m being fired. I wouldn’t blame her for whatever she has to do. She had to let go of Cody, so it’s only fair that I serve the same fate.
It feels like an eternity stretched into two before Janel lets out a long breath and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I don’t need to tell you how bad this is,” she begins, looking exhausted from God only knows how many calls and emails she’s gotten since the event.
This reflects poorly on her and her company. She’s worked too hard to let someone like me come in and bulldoze it.
“I’m—”
“Don’t.” She stops me, making me press my lips together. I wait for her to give me the look. The disappointed one because the person she spent a year training did her dirty. But…
It doesn’t come.
“I need you to listen to me,” she says slowly, meeting my eyes with a firmness on her face that’s all seriousness. “I like you, Winter. I like what you bring here. I like how authentic and headstrong you are. You’re resilient. And, for the most part, unproblematic.”
Internally, I wince at the last bit.
She clearly gives me too much credit.
“That’s why I need you to lie.”
I start to reply, thinking she’s about to explain why I’m being let go. Then her words sink in, and I slowly close my mouth.
Because…what?
Janel clears her throat and intertwines her fingers together on top of her desk. “I need you to lie to me, Winter. Because what I’m seeing doesn’t look good, but it doesn’t have to be damning. Not when you have so much potential.”
I’m struck speechless.
She wants me to lie? To deny everything?
“I…” I wet my lips and shake my head. “I’m not sure I understand, Janel. Cody was just investigated and let go for—”
“Sexual harassment,” she says with a singular nod. “Cody was let go because he was creating an unsafe work environment for his peers. He was engaging in acts that made both coworkers and clients uncomfortable. You, to my knowledge, have not done that.”
She gives me a pointed look.
There are so many things I had expected her to say. I’d gone through every scenario possible as I showered this morning and on the bus ride here. Each one led to me being told to pack up my things and leave. I’d anticipated it because I deserved it. No ifs, ands, or buts.
However, this…I don’t know how to respond at all. “Janel,” I try to say again, voice raspy. “I screwed up.”
Once again, she dips her head in acknowledgment. “You did,” she agrees, but there’s a lightness in her tone that doesn’t seem angry or judgmental. “But to be completely transparent, so have I. If you think you’re the only one who’s dabbled in adultery in this practice, you’d be mistaken.”
My jaw drops before I can stop it. Janel? But she always talks so fondly of her husband. Well, maybe not fondly, but she never speaks badly of him. Not once. “Oh?” It comes out unintentionally as a question.
I’m not sure what else to say. What does one reply when their boss admits to having an affair with a client? That it’s sweet she can relate to me? Do I thank her? Ask follow-ups? I’m not sure I want to know.
“I don’t want to know,” she continues, “what happened. I don’t need to know either. I’ve seen the photos circulating, and they can be easily explained. You and I are both trained to dispel rumors, so that’s how we’ll treat this.”
She’s really not going to fire me? Penalize me? Put me on probation? I ask one question out of the thousands I have. “Why?”
Janel’s lips tug up at the corners. “A few reasons. One, I’ve seen some of the photos even before they were broadcast. Why do you look like that? You should know I have sources. They felt the need to give me a first look. And you know what?”
I don’t answer. Because…what?
“I’ve seen the way you’ve changed. Your shoulders seem lighter. You walk with confidence. You smile more. I didn’t know what it was at first. But now I think I know exactly what brought you to life.”
All I can do is gape.
“Thomas Moskins brought something out of you that I haven’t seen before.
” She shrugs casually, like I’m not on every tabloid headline right now as an adulterous whore.
“I’ve always known you’ve had it in you, but he’s the one who allowed you to be…
you. And I don’t know why that is, but I’m certainly not going to complain. ”
I’m about to shake my head, to deny it, but she won’t let me.
She pins me with a look. “I’m not saying that this isn’t problematic, Winnie. It is. And again, I don’t want you to tell me the details because I’d rather not have to report it to HR. Ignorance is bliss, after all.”
I have to stop her before she keeps going, because none of this makes sense. “I’m grateful for everything you’ve done, Janel. Truly. But I don’t deserve this second chance.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” Isn’t it obvious? “There are policies. Rules. Rules that I—”
“Nope,” she says, eyeing me.
Right. Lie. “Rules that are in place for a reason,” I say carefully until she’s satisfied. “I broke your trust. I—”
“Winter, who are you trying to punish?” she questions suddenly. The curiosity in her tone is almost alarming to me. “Because it seems to me that you want me to fire you. You want to be punished for this.”
She acts as if this is a small thing. “It’s not about what I want. It’s about what I deserve.”
Janel offers me a small, warm smile. “Don’t you think that, above all else, you deserve to be happy?”
Once again, I’m staring silently at the woman who must have fallen and hit her head on the way to work this morning.
Maybe this is all a dream. I’m going to wake up and realize that I’m assuming the best-case scenario for myself.
When I really go to work, Janel will have security flanking her door ready to escort me to my cubicle, just like they did for Cody on his last day.
Except this isn’t a dream. I check, pinching my arm just to be sure. I hide the wince from the stinging pain and rub the spot all while under the watchful eyes of my boss.
Thankfully, she doesn’t call me out for it.
“Why should I be happy when I’ve done inexcusable things?” I counter with a frown, feeling that weight in my stomach.
“Have you?”
“Have I what?”
“Done something inexcusable?”
She is obviously kidding me. “Janel.”
“No,” is the answer that comes from somebody at the door that I hadn’t heard open.
I spin to see two women standing there.
“Emaly?” I ask, standing as she steps in.
The woman behind her is as beautiful as she. Her blond bob fits her sculpted face and bright blue eyes. She’s taller than Emaly by a handful of inches and seems like the exact opposite of the dark-haired woman.
My eyes go between the two of them, who are both smiling at Janel and me. And when my gaze trails down to their conjoined hands, something deep inside me clicks into place.
“Hi,” Emaly greets, releasing the blonde’s hand and stepping over to me for a hug. It’s so quick, I don’t have time to return it. “I’m sorry for interrupting, but it’s important.”
I’m so confused as I glance briefly at the stranger in the room before looking back at Emaly. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in California.”