Chapter 21
KNOX
“You officially still suck at pool.” I grin, clinking my beer bottle against Henry’s. My brother rolls his eyes and tips the bottle back for a long swig.
“You’ve been playing on this table since you were old enough to score a fake I.D. I think my pride will stay intact for now.”
“Always so eloquent.” I chuckle, tipping my hat to him. I nod to the bartender and signal for her to get us two more beers. We rarely get to hang out like this, so I am planning on soaking it up.
“Are you excited about your big book tour?” I ask. His book, Lovesick, was scheduled for release in the fall, and his agent is planning a short tour to launch the novel. I am a very proud little brother.
“Yes and no,” he sighs, bracing his hands against the bar, “Emma and Milo can only join me for one of the stops, so I’ll be solo most of it. I haven’t been away from them this long since New York. I’m going to miss them like crazy.”
“Don’t worry,” I say, slapping a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be a man and step up. Emma won’t even know you’re gone. I’ll even wear glasses. I know she has a thing for them,” I joke with a wink.
He shoves my shoulder. “You’re an ass.”
“But in all seriousness, I’ll make sure they’re taken care of. Tell Emma I’m here for whatever she needs.”
“I appreciate it,” Henry smiles, turning to me with a glimmer in his eyes. “You’ve really come into your own this summer, Knox. I’d dare to say you’ve been more tolerable than usual.”
I let out a low whistle. “Now that’s a compliment.”
“You know what I mean,” he murmurs. “You’ve been an amazing uncle, you’ve found a great girl, and you’re about to become a business owner at only twenty-four. You’re way better off than I was at your age.”
A frown weighs down the corners of my mouth, and heat coils tightly in my chest. Only one of those three things was true.
“You had already published your first book,” I say, trying to spin the conversation away from me.
I am good at playing a confident and cool guy, but deep inside, I’m unraveling at the seams.
“Don’t change the subject,” Henry says, instantly foiling my plan. “I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Even if Dad doesn’t see it, I do.”
I smile sharply, smoothing out any evidence on my face. “Thanks, bro. I really appreciate it.”
Henry turns to me and crosses his arms. With the dim lighting, it’s hard to read the expression on his face, but I can tell he’s not impressed with my acting chops.
“What’s wrong, Knox?”
“Nothing,” I say, shrugging. But it doesn’t work. Henry’s eyes might as well be Superman’s because I can feel his X-ray vision cutting me in half.
“Just tell me,” he says, kicking the base of my seat. “I don’t want to play my older brother card, but I will. Or I’ll have Emma bully it out of you. Now that might be entertaining.”
I groan and take in a deep breath. “I’m not buying Sal’s business, okay?
Dad won’t co-sign because of my little reputation issue, and the bank won’t give me a loan because I’m young and I don’t have enough credit history.
I even created a kickass business plan, and they still want a co-signer.
My best bet is to wait for someone else to buy the shop and pray they’ll keep me on. ”
Henry nods slowly, taking in my half-sputtered confession. His stare is intensely focused on me, and the tiny indent between his brows is at half-mast.
“I know it’s pathetic,” I sigh, taking a drink of my beer. “I was finally getting somewhere in this dumb town, and now I’m stuck at square one again.”
My brother shakes his head and braces both hands against his thighs. “It’s not pathetic, Knox. What’s pathetic is Dad. I can’t believe he’s still holding that shit over your head.”
“The people of this town already made up their minds about me, and there’s nothing I can do to fix it. I just need to keep my head down for a little while longer, and maybe people will forget. Or another scandal will blow through town.”
The latter was more likely. Maybe I can ask Beau to let Marie yell at him some more in public. That might turn some heads.
Henry lets out an audible scoff. “That’s ridiculous, Knox.
You don’t deserve to be treated like that.
You’re a hard worker, and Sal’s business wouldn’t be where it is today without you.
Sure, a few uptight jerks decided to take their business elsewhere, but screw them.
And Dad is an idiot for feeding into the bullshit. ”
I raise my beer, clinking it against his bottle. “Amen to that.”
I’ve made my peace with my dad’s decision, and even though it hurts, he doesn’t want to take a chance on me, I get it. This isn’t some measly car loan—this is a much bigger risk. But a risk I’ve been waiting my entire life to take.
“What if I co-signed?” Henry asks, making me choke on my drink.
After a small coughing fit, I turn to him and say, “What?”
He spins on his stool so that his shoulders are square with mine.
He leans in with a determined look in his eyes.
“I’m serious. Looking at this from an investment standpoint, you’ve worked for Sal for years and know all of the ins and outs of the business.
You have the drive to make it into something great, and I know you’ll work your ass off.
I’ll need to look at your business plan and some revenue projections, but I’m sure it’s great. ”
I blink at him as my skin gets hotter. “No, Henry. You’ve got too much going on. You need to focus on your book tour and your family. I can’t let you get involved in my mess.”
“It’s not a mess,” he snaps. “It’s your dream, and I won’t let you give it up this easily. I’ve seen how much you’ve grown up since I’ve been in Honey Grove. It would be a crime to waste your potential.”
“It’s not that simple, Henry.”
“Listen, Knox,” Henry says, letting out a long and tortured sigh. “I know you have this big macho hero complex and refuse to take help from others, but let me do this for you. I know I haven’t always been the greatest brother, but I—”
“Don’t even say it. That’s not fair, and you know it.”
Henry wasn’t around a lot when I was growing up.
He lived with his biological mom full-time, but spent most summers with us.
But then he stopped coming around as much, and at first, I didn’t understand.
I always wanted a big brother, and I felt like the luckiest guy in the world to have one, even if we didn’t share the same mom.
But there were things I didn’t understand at the time, and most of them had to do with how Henry didn’t have the best relationship with our dad.
“Fine, whatever,” he says, shaking his head. “Regardless, I want to do this for you, Knox. I believe in you. I always have and I always will.”
He doesn’t say much, but at the same time, it feels like everything. My throat tightens, and I finally feel cool and collected feelings sweep over my body. I’ve spent most of my life letting people put me in a box, but I never considered how it would feel to be placed on a pedestal for once.
“If we do this, we’re going to do it right. I’m going to present my business plan to you, and then you can make the final call. I want Emma involved, too. This is a big decision, and I want both of you on board.”
“Of course,” Henry smiles, patting my shoulder. “I’m proud of you, Hermano.”
I smile as I start to see the edge of the finish line again. But then the smile slips away when I see Emery there too.
The entire point of our fake relationship is to help me get this loan, and once I do, we’re over.
What the hell does that even mean? Does she still want to go back to being strangers?
I sure as hell don’t. I still can’t get the taste of her out of my mind.
All I can think about is how good it would be to be inside her again.
A curse burns at the back of my throat. I already know I want her. Not just her body, but everything. Her annoyed glances and the small giggles she lets slip out when she’s feeling relaxed around me.
But I can tell she’s still fighting me every step of the way.
I went into this knowing we had an expiration date, but now I’m not ready to walk away. I don’t want to go back to pretending she’s just a distant memory of a girl I knew a long time ago. I want so much more, but like I told Henry, it’s not that simple.
Henry’s voice jolts me from the waterfall of thoughts rushing inside my mind. I nod along, trying to listen, but my chest starts to constrict. I’m so close to everything I’ve always wanted, but there’s an Emery-sized hole that won’t go away.
My brother nudges my shoulder and raises his right brow. “Are you okay? You look like you’re about to hurl.”
“Yes,” I choke out, forcing a smile.
But the truth is, none of this will mean a damn thing if she isn’t there when the dust clears.
“Fuck,” I yell, losing my grip on the wrench. I let out a frustrated grunt and toss the wrench on my workbench before slumping over in my chair.
Working on my Mustang usually helps me clear my head when I’m working through an issue. I nearly reupholstered the entire car in the aftermath of my so-called affair last year, but tonight, it’s not helping.
Dark green eyes are haunting my mind, and even though I have three unread messages from their owner, I’m trying to keep my distance until I either come to terms with letting her go or grow some balls and tell her how I feel.
And then there is the whole Henry element. Once I tell her my dad isn’t co-signing anymore, there’s really no point to our arrangement. She’ll probably want to call it quits like any sane, normal human would.
I hear my phone buzz again and I groan into my hands.
I know if I look at it, I’ll wuss out and answer her.
She’s probably so irritated with me. I can just imagine her squeezing her tiny fists and stomping on the ground with those obnoxiously huge combat boots.
She wears them with every outfit, but somehow she makes it work.