Chapter 24
KNOX
Sometimes I miss being an absolute deviant. Especially when I told Emery I’d give her space. Being the nice guy is a lot harder than I expected. How does Henry make it look so damn easy?
It’s been less than twenty-four hours since Emery told me she needed time to think. The first few hours were the hardest. I had to physically distance myself from my phone so I wouldn’t try to text or call her.
I let out a desperate sigh when my phone buzzes on the worktable in the auto shop. I know it’s not her, and yet I wish it were. I shake my head and force myself to walk over to the device. I’m still waiting on an important message.
This morning, I found out that Emma gave Henry the green light to co-sign my loan and we didn’t waste any time heading to the bank. The pure anxiety of waiting on a decision was the only thing distracting me from dropping everything and driving over to the Hollow Hinge.
When I look at my phone, it’s just Henry asking if there’s any updates. I shoot him a quick text saying no and head back to the old Camry, currently sitting on the lift.
Right as I’m about to remove the car’s oil filter, I hear the bell go off, so I poke my head around the corner. My heart nearly stops when I see who it is. I slowly grab a heavy wrench and perch it in my back pocket.
The man doesn’t pause before walking through the side door. At least this time, he looks less angry. The way the veins on his forehead throbbed as he laid into me still haunts me to this day.
“Charlie,” I nod, walking with my head held high. I notice he looks calmer today and his hands are swinging freely at his sides. They’re not balled up like he wants to throw me through a glass window.
“Don’t worry, kid,” he says with a friendly smile. “I’m not here to start a fight.”
I let my shoulders relax. “I wouldn’t blame you if you were,” I shrug. “I still can’t believe you didn’t get in more than one shot all those months ago.”
Charlie lets out a weak laugh. “Believe it or not, that’s the one thing I’m proud of not doing. I was looking for someone to blame that day and unfortunately you fit the bill.”
“Right,” I say, trying not to relive that very embarrassing moment. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you here?”
He takes a step back and sinks his eyes to the ground. “I came here to apologize,” he says as he shoves his hands deeper into his front pockets.
My stomach roils. “Apologize? For what?”
Charlie lets out a deep breath and slowly rocks back on his heels. “I wasn’t completely fair to you that day I came in here looking for a fight. Instead of slowing down and recognizing the real problem, I was looking for anyone but the two people involved to blame for my marriage falling apart.”
“B—but I did have something to do with it,” I murmur, not ready to let myself off the hook.
I considered that moment rock bottom for me.
I didn’t have to rely on others being disappointed in me, because I was disappointed in myself.
Sometimes when I’m really feeling down, I still walk through what happened and try to imagine what my life would have been like if I had just walked away from June that night.
But then I remember the person I am because of my actions. I took every ounce of the blame I felt and turned it into a better future for myself. And that’s something I’ll never regret.
“Listen, Knox,” he sighs. “I’m not going to tell you that what you did with my w—ex-wife wasn’t the breaking point of our marriage. It was. But it also wasn’t the first time something like that happened.”
My eyes widen. “Really?”
“Don’t look so surprised,” he chuckles, shifting his head with a reluctant smile.
“You weren’t the first ex-student she tried to seduce.
I’m not going to relive all the details now, but there were a couple more, and most of the time I believed her when she said it would never happen again.
But it did and I ate up every excuse. I was so desperate to make our marriage work that I ignored all the signs and kept blaming everyone but her… or me, for that matter.”
“But after she left me for good, it all started to sink in,” Charlie says, his eyes darkening with the type of pain I can’t even begin to fathom.
I’ve seen the same look on Emery’s face.
“It took me a lot longer than I’m proud to admit, but I finally started to see the truth for what it was.
I don’t hate you, Knox. I shouldn’t have made that big scene and cost you the respect of half the town.
You’re a kid, for Christ’s sake. I shouldn’t have blamed you for ruining my marriage because no one is to blame except for the two people who couldn’t make it work. ”
“Charlie,” I say, my voice rough. “You didn’t have to come here. You don’t owe me anything.”
“Maybe not,” he admits, meeting my eyes, “but it feels like the only way I’m going to be able to move on and start living my life again. I just want you to know that I don’t hate you.”
I nod, keeping my facial expression completely neutral. “I know,” I lie. I did think he hated me, and I felt like I deserved every bit of it.
“And I’m sorry for what I said to your girlfriend,” he says, dragging his hand across his jaw. “I’m sure she told you all about it.”
I flinch at his casual use of the word girlfriend. There’s a possibility I might never get to make that a reality and that thought alone feels like a new kind of hell.
“Yeah, she did,” I say, dipping my chin. “Don’t worry. You didn’t scare her off,” I say with a phantom smile. I did that all by myself.
In a way, their meeting pushed me to tell her everything, and that’s when I realized I didn’t want us to be fake anymore.
The way she listened without passing judgment felt like a new kind of intimacy that I wasn’t prepared for.
I’d never experienced that type of unwavering support and I was already missing it.
Charlie studies me closely, like he can see exactly what I’m feeling. “Then don’t waste it,” he states. “If you can find a woman willing to stand by your side no matter what, then don’t make the mistake of thinking you don’t deserve it.”
My entire body stiffens—the regret of letting her go pulses inside me. After nights of lying awake, replaying every wrong move or selfish decision that has burdened my past, there’s one thing I never doubt. Emery.
In some way or another, we were meant to cross paths again.
Obviously, I didn’t picture it as us ending up in some fucked up arrangement that involved a lot of lying.
But I didn’t care how we got here. All I cared about was that we ended up together.
And dammit, I did deserve it. I was done convincing myself otherwise.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say, a new resurgence of hope brewing inside my chest.
He gives me a small nod. “I also came here for another reason. The gas company I work for is looking for a new garage to service its trucks. Is that something you’d be interested in?”
“Yes,” I answer smoothly, trying to hold back the excitement stirring up inside me. That would be a huge new client for the shop. Of course, I’d have to hire some more help, which is already on top of my to-do list.
“Great,” Charlie smiles. “I’ll give them your information then. They’re tired of hauling their rigs all the way to Raymilton, so this could work out well for both of us.”
I nod, trying to keep my goofy ass grin from popping up, but damn it feels like I’m finally seeing that first ray of sunshine after a storm. Maybe all the nights I’ve spent in various shame spirals have finally paid off.
“I’ll be in touch,” he says, turning on his heels. But before he can walk out the door, he spins around and says, “And, Knox. Don’t let your own regret keep you from living. Life’s too short to live in the shadow of your past.”
I watch him leave through the side door. The bell jingles one last time before everything sinks in. For a long time, I just stand there and take deep and slow breaths—taking in the familiar scents of motor oil and metal shavings.
Everything is falling into place. Well, almost everything.
And then my phone buzzes, and I question my manifesting abilities. Which is short-lived when I realize it’s not the person I want to hear from the most.
But it is the bank.
And I got the loan.
“To Knox,” my brother announces proudly with a shot glass in hand. “Proving that hard work and maybe a little bit of charm can help you accomplish anything. I knew you could do it and I’m damn proud of you. ?Felicidades!”
“Henry, this shot glass is full of milk,” I say, eyeing the glass full of white liquid.
“Milo wanted to toast too,” Henry says, flicking his head toward my sweet nephew, holding his shot glass up high. The poor guy is already stumbling so it’s safe to say he broke into the good stuff before I got here.
“Right,” I say, chuckling. “Then, let’s toast.”
I clink my glass against Milo’s, and his entire face lights up. “Yay, uncle!” he yells before tossing back his 2%.
“Alright, Mi, you had your fun. Now it’s bath time,” Emma says, leaning up against the door frame. Milo grimaces before ducking behind my legs.
I let out a soft laugh before ducking down to his height. “Sorry, little dude, but I can’t save you from bath time. Plus, take it from me, you’re never going to impress Riley if you stink in class tomorrow. Girls dig guys who smell good.”
I can feel Emma’s disapproving stare on me, but I simply look up at her and shrug. The joke’s on her, because my pep talk totally works as she chases her son running toward the bathroom.
“I bet that’s the first time he’s ever been excited for bath time,” I joke, picking up our shot glasses and placing them in the sink.
“You do have a way with kids,” Henry says, smiling to himself. “However, let’s try to cut back on the dating tips. He’s too young to worry about impressing girls.”