Chapter 23
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The council has spoken.
Mirabelle
“He’s a billionaire,” Leeann says, dipping a homemade biscotti I brought into her cup of tea.
Properly, I jut a lip and reach for a lemon bar. “I don’t really care about his money.”
“He also seemed very sweet when he was here for Halloween,” Beth offers, adding a cube of sugar to her teacup.
My face flushes at the mere mention of Halloween.
“Is he a good kisser?” Lynn asks.
I stammer, “I-I don’t know.”
Lynn hums, sipping. “Best find out before you make any lasting decisions.”
“Unless you’re waiting for marriage,” Fawn says, elegantly extending her pinkie as she lifts her teacup to her lips.
I look at my dear, dear only-female-friend-my-age, who encouraged the scandal that took place just days ago and plunged me into the need for a life-changing decision. My poor left eye twitches at the sight of her. “Why are you even here?” I ask.
She is not in book club. When book club first started, I invited her, because she reads more than even I do, but she said, Mm, no, and went back to reading.
Innocent as a flower, she flutters her dark lashes. “I heard there’d be tea.”
“There is often tea,” I inform her.
“No, no, darling.” She sips. “Tea.”
Ah, I see. She wanted to gossip about my non-relationship with Damion. Well. Isn’t that just…fantastic?
Scooting to the edge of her seat, she says, “So. When I tell you this man is gone for Mira…”
“Ohh?” Leeann scoots in, too, pale green eyes sparkling.
Fawn sets her teacup down so she can speak with her hands.
“This one night, Mira went outside to apologize to him, or something. I don’t remember exactly.
I think she thought she almost got herself fired or something—unlikely, considering how absolutely gone Damion is for her.
Well, Damion met her between our houses because he was coming to see her, too, right? ”
A dramatic round of gasps circles the room.
Frowning, I nibble my lemon bar.
“They chitchat, or whatever. He cups her cheek.” She lifts her hand as my cheeks burn.
“And then after? Mira comes back inside. I’m watching at her bedroom window, obviously, like a good friend.
And I see him take the hand that touched her and press his palm to his mouth in a kiss.
” She closes her eyes and reenacts the moment while my book club goes ballistic.
“Marry him,” Leeann shakes me by the shoulder. “Marry. Hiiiim.”
Rattled, I say, “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”
Fawn settles in and regains her teacup. “I was living for the dramatic irony.”
Ah, well. So long as she doesn’t mind dying for it, too.
Narrowing my eyes, I judge her.
“Whaaat?” she drawls, tiny smile on her face beyond incriminating.
“It was cute. I said, daw. Also, people are less likely to forget people they hate when they become rich and famous. I needed to up my antagonism so I don’t fade into the abyss of obscurity once you’re having tea parties with European queens. ”
“I don’t want to be rich and famous.” Having tea parties with my book club is anxiety-inducing enough.
About half my energy goes into making sure I’m not going to break one of Lynn’s teacups or be too loud or make a mess.
I do not need that panic exponentially compounded via the presence of royalty.
“How about just rich, then?” Beth asks. “Think of all the good you could do with that kind of money.”
I wince, because that kind of comment presses on my raging justice gene.
I could do a lot of good with the kind of money I’d have access to as Damion’s wife, but a sense of duty to do good isn’t what should compel me toward considering him as a life partner.
The stickiness of the situation surrounds me, beginning to suffocate.
“Screw good,” Fawn blurts. “Think of all the bad you could do!”
“What?” I look at her.
“Bad. Think about all the bad. Dumping oil in the ocean for funsies. Razing sweet little towns like this one to build smog-filled industry. Mass-producing straws to specifically end turtles and then putting the weight of that destruction on the common man as a distraction from all the oil dumping and smog filling that they have nothing to do with, which are doing far worse things than any of the straws, which wouldn’t even end up in the turtles without your corporation’s assistance.
” She smiles into her tea. “Embrace your villain era.”
I don’t…
Who invited her?
“Ooh, a villain era,” Lynn muses, round face more eager than it should be. “That sounds like fun.”
“Are your hearing aids not turned up?” I ask, forgetting myself, because Fawn is here, and Fawn is the bridge between me and myself, and—genuinely—who invited her?
Lynn barks a laugh instead of giving me a look. The other women join in the laughter, and Leeann nudges me with her elbow. “That’s the spirit, Mira. Villains have the best snark.”
I deflate. “I don’t want to be a villain.
I don’t want to be in papers, or articles, or videos taken from across streets.
I don’t really like the idea of strangers following my life and making assumptions about it that are wrong because I have socially-accepted stalkers hanging around.
It’s a huge decision about where I want my life to go.
And I…” My body warms. “…I don’t even know if I like Damion enough to want him if he were a normal guy.
I don’t know what that feels like. And I’m scared that if I let myself like him, that’ll be the start of his feelings thinning out and him realizing I’m not all that great, actually, and then what?
Then I’ll have all these horrible articles about me strewn all over the internet, a broken heart, and no job. I lose everything.”
Absolutely everything.
Stillness consumes the room, and I dare to look up once it settles too heavily in my chest.
Beth starts, softly, “Loving someone is always a risk. Loving someone powerful enough to ruin everything is dangerous. This is a big decision, Mira. You’re a smart girl for recognizing that.
But you have people who are by you, who will catch you if you fall, who will take care of you, and who will believe you.
Can you trust us enough to let yourself entertain a little danger and risk on the chance it might become something beautiful? ”
The lump forming in my throat threatens to choke me.
Lynn says, “You know I always have a vacant room or two hanging around, and I’ve been blessed to be in a position where I can say that you and Fawn will be welcome, rent-free, until you get back on your feet, if you need it.
You two have been my best-ever renters, so that isn’t even charity—it’s an investment in the quality of interacting with you. ”
Tears prick my eyes.
Leeann’s hand settles on my knee. “If there weren’t any scary things, or any negative things. If he were just a guy…would you take the chance on figuring out whether or not you like him?”
My mind flashes through pictures and moments, consuming itself with the drug of him.
Life is full of risks and dangers.
People are scary, so I’ve spent much of my time protecting myself against the risks associated with them. It took me years of being around and living with Fawn before I realized she liked me better than the person I showed to most people.
It takes years to form the kind of foundation I want with the man I choose to marry.
And, yet, for all my searching and all my brief bouts of dating, I’ve never let myself get close enough to anyone to so much as kiss them.
Terrified, I say, “Should…I see if…maybe he wants to go out with me to a restaurant…sometime this week?”
Leeann smiles and taps my knee. “I think that would be a wonderful idea.”
Shakily, I smile back.
As though my heart isn’t, yet again, attempting to vacate my chest.