Chapter 13 Elyse
ELYSE
Two days later, when I got home from work, I found Holly in bed with the curtains drawn, scrolling on her phone.
It instantly wrenched my heart. I knew she must really be struggling with what was going on with her mom, and even though it had been a good portion of her life that my sister was in active addiction, I was sure the worry and the sadness didn't get any easier.
"You want to hang out?" I asked her as I knocked on her open door.
She tossed the phone on the bed next to her. She looked relieved.
"Sure. What did you have in mind?" she asked.
"I was thinking we could go to the beach and get some ice cream," I replied. "Maybe watch a couple volleyball games. How does that sound?"
"Sounds great, actually."
I let Eden out, and ten minutes later, we were rolling back down the driveway.
After finding a parking spot at Clearwater Beach, our first stop was the ice cream stand.
"Pink bubblegum in a waffle cone, please," I said when it was our turn.
"Vanilla in a waffle cone," said Holly.
"They have a lot of other flavors if you want to try something different," I offered.
Her eyes slid to the employee behind the counter, then back at me. A smile brightened her face. "Oh no. Life has already thrown a rocky road at me. What I like about vanilla ice cream is that you can always depend on it to be the same no matter where you get it."
Ice cream philosophy courtesy of my niece. It made perfect sense when I stopped to think about it.
"Vanilla ice cream in a waffle cone it is," I said.
After paying and collecting our cones, we ambled down the beach toward Frenchy's, where we could see and hear a few games happening on the sand courts outside their front door.
"Have you ever played volleyball?" I asked her.
"Just with my friends during gym class," she replied. "What about you?"
"I played in high school and only once in a while since then, but you can usually count on a lively game or two here. It's a great way to unwind after a long day. How was your day, by the way?" I asked, looking over at her.
Holly was silent for a moment. Longer than I expected, but I was patient while she considered her words.
"I'm looking forward to going to work with Jenna more often. It's hard not having anything to do during the day. When I'm at grandma and grandpa's, I'm usually babysitting some of the neighbors' grandkids, so it keeps me busy."
"Well, that's a thought," I said, picking up a rogue ball and tossing it to the person waiting to serve. "Sarah's two little kids are really good. She's often looking for a babysitter for them for book club or date night. Or even Allison's son, Noah. Is that something you would be interested in?"
"Absolutely," said Holly. "I love kids."
"Alright, I will talk to Sarah and Allison about that next time I see them."
We watched a few games, and when the last of the ice cream was gone, we walked down to the beach. I led us down to the shoreline, where we found two lounge chairs that had been abandoned by their renters.
"Let's sit and watch the waves coming in for a little while." I said as I sat. "I always find it so peaceful."
"Sure." She flopped down next to me.
"I'm excited you're working for Jenna as well," I said after we'd gotten settled.
"Hopefully you'll get to bring home extras at the end of the day.
I know if I stop in there at the perfect time, she loads me up with a bunch of pastries that didn't get sold.
I can only imagine how much time I'm going to have to spend on the treadmill with you working there.
Everything you brought home yesterday was positively sinful. "
Holly chuckled. "Everything we made yesterday was so amazing," she said. "I don't think I could pick a favorite. The chocolate croissants were so good and the cheesecake was the best I've ever had. I hope she shows me how to make that again, but slower next time."
"I'm sure she will."
We sat back for about a half an hour and quietly watched the waves crashing on the beach. There was a family of four—a mom, a dad, a brother, and a sister—playing in the waves off to our left.
"Aunt 'Lyse?" asked Holly.
"Holly?"
"Can I ask you a question?" Holly asked.
"You can ask me anything, kiddo."
"How come you and Uncle Drew didn't have any kids?"
My stomach dropped. I didn't even know how to answer that.
"That's a tough one, hon," I said. "I definitely wanted kids, but it just didn't happen. By the time I met Uncle Drew, we were both too old to start."
"So you wanted kids?"
"Absolutely. My ex-husband and I tried for years."
"Is that why you got divorced?" she asked, and then put her hand over her mouth with a horrified look on her face. "You don't have to answer that," she said in between her fingers, then dropped her hands back down into her lap and stared at them. "I'm sorry. I ask the worst questions sometimes."
I chuckled. "It's okay. It's a normal question. In a roundabout way, it is why we got divorced. But more specifically, we got divorced because he got someone else pregnant."
Holly gasped. "Are you freaking kidding me?!" she shouted. "Who does that?"
"Well, he did that," I said. "And I found out in the worst way."
Holly's dark brown eyes grew even wider. "How?"
"She showed up at our door with the baby."
Holly gasped again. "I'm so sorry," she said. "That had to have been awful."
"It was, but at the same time, I wouldn't be with Uncle Drew right now if it hadn't happened. And Uncle Drew makes me happier than I've ever been."
"That's nice," she said, then after a long silence, said, "You would have made a great mom." Her eyes were transfixed somewhere out near the horizon.
"Well, thank you, kiddo. I certainly would have tried. From what I hear, it's not as easy as it looks. But it would have been worth the effort. Maybe in another life, right?"
"Maybe," she replied.
We sat for a little bit longer, then made our way to the parking lot.
"Excuse me, miss," came a gruff voice from behind me.
I turned around and came face to face with one of the men I had followed.
"Can I help you?" I asked, trying everything in my power to keep my voice steady.
"You walked by and you looked so familiar. I thought maybe I had seen you before."
My mind raced for a plausible explanation.
"I run the bookstore in downtown Dunedin. Perhaps it was there?"
Why why why did I tell him that?
"I have been in Dunedin, but I can't say I've ever visited a bookstore. Not voluntarily, anyway."
That tracks.
Well, I'm not sure then," I said.
"It'll come to me. Sorry to bother you."
I turned on the balls of my feet and grabbed Holly's arm to pull her along next to me.
"Who was that guy, Aunt 'Lyse?" she asked. "You look like you saw a ghost."
"I'm not sure," I said, but I knew the lie was as obvious as the sand in between our toes.
"Hmm," said Holly, enough life experience to know when a subject was closed.
We were quiet on the way home. She scrolled through her phone and I scrolled through all the ways that interaction could have gone terribly wrong, especially with Holly right there.
By the time we got home, I had all but convinced myself that it was a one-time occurrence.
I was always careful, and people were bound to recognize me, but they would never know how.
At least, that's what I hoped. A simple trip to the beach had proven otherwise, and it shook me to my core.
I was going to have to be more careful.