Chapter Elyse
ELYSE
After Ladies League the following Tuesday, I headed home to get changed. I was working at the bookstore at two.
On my way into the house, my phone buzzed with a text.
Sarah: What are you up to?
Nothing much. Just gonna have a quick lunch and head to the bookstore.
Sarah: I am out and about. If you have a few moments, I'd love to chat.
Sure. Come on over.
Ten minutes later, Sarah was standing on my front porch.
"How did you get the day free?" I asked.
"We had professional development this morning, and I decided to just take the rest of the day off to try to catch up on some errands while the kids are at my mom's."
"Good plan," I said. "What brings you here?" Although I never turn my nose up at a visit from Sarah, it's not often that she just pops in.
She looked around. "Is Holly here?"
"She might still be asleep," I said. "You know how teenagers are."
Sarah laughed. "Boy, do I ever." She had more than her fair share of budding teenagers as a social worker at the local middle school.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Maybe we should sit outside," she said.
"I need to bring Eden out anyways."
At the mention of her name, Eden appeared at my side, ready and willing to head outside. I poured us each a glass of water and we headed to the patio.
We settled into our chairs, each of us taking a sip and setting our water on the table between us.
"I really just have been thinking so much about Holly and what you shared with me."
Sarah had been the first person I'd called after my parents the previous Friday. Normally Cat would be my first call, but Sarah had been so engaged and supportive of Holly's well-being, I wanted to let her in on what was going on.
"I know that she probably is in a bit of turmoil," she continued. "How does she seem around the house?"
"She's quieter than usual," I admitted. Even though my sister had been gone more than she'd been in her life in the last few years, I knew the conversation we'd had was a shock to her system.
"Have you considered getting her into therapy?"
I sighed. "I have. I called around, but the wait lists are just so long, especially for teens and adolescents."
"I know what you mean," said Sarah. "I may have some good resources for you in the meantime. Also, do you mind if I reach out to a few of my local friends to see if maybe they can squeeze her into their schedule? I'd love to see her have some professional support right now."
"I'd love that. I try to talk to her, but I don't think I have the right words to say.
I'm trying to do the best I can without having a lot of experience with young people her age, but I would like to have a little backup and even some advice on how to approach some of the tougher conversations with her. "
Sarah adjusted her ever-present headband. "It would be my pleasure," she said. "Give me a couple days and I'll have some numbers for you."
"Thank you so much, Sarah. What else do you have going on?"
"Not a whole lot. We're looking forward to the new school year. It's always a busy time, but once we get through the testing and IEP season, it'll be smooth sailing until spring."
She started digging around in her huge brown tote bag. "You know what else I was thinking?" she asked as her arm disappeared into the depths. She eventually pulled a pamphlet from the bottom and handed it to me.
"Al-Anon?" I asked.
"I know it's not exactly what you need, but it's a helpful group for people who are dealing with someone else's addiction."
I quickly flipped through the pamphlet and set it on the table. Eden's nose came up from underneath and nuzzled my hand as I set it on my lap. She always knew when I needed comfort.
"I appreciate it, Sarah. I'll take a look at this later."
"I know it's not easy supporting someone while you yourself are going through so much. You must be worried sick about your sister. I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to, or vent to, or just sit next to you and say nothing."
I felt my throat begin to close and tears burned the back of my eyes. I blinked hard to stop them, but a single escapee made its way down my cheek.
"Oh, 'Lyse," she sighed, leaning forward. She swiped her thumb across my cheek. "I'm sorry that you're going through all this."
"It's okay. We're all going through something, right?" I said. "Just look at what Jenna went through and how happy she is now. We just need to figure out how to get to the other side of this."
"Exactly," said Sarah. "Speaking of Jenna, I'm so proud of her and so glad she's getting a bit of help in the bakery now that it's doing so well. I feel like all she does is work and read."
"That sounds familiar," I said, "with the exception of golf."
"Yes, but that's not the most fulfilling life for someone in their twenties.
" She dug her phone out of her brown tote bag and looked at the screen.
"Well, I better be going. I don't have too long before my mom has the kids in a time out t-shirt and I still have a few errands to run, but I wanted to just chat with you about Holly and give you that.
" She pointed at the pamphlet and tilted her head toward it.
"Thank you, Sarah. You're so thoughtful. I'll be sure to call if I need more guidance."
"You better," she said as she gathered her purse and stood.
I walked her to the door and gave her a big hug before she stepped onto the front porch.
"I'll see you at book club?" she asked.
"Absolutely," I said. "Unless I see you before then."
"That's probably more likely."
Once she made it to the bottom step and started heading down the walkway toward her car, I closed the door and leaned against it. I practiced pretending that I was okay. It had become a part-time job for me, but I knew I wouldn't be able to fool Sarah for very long.
I loaded the dishes from the night before into the dishwasher and was drying my hands as I heard the gentle patting of feet approaching in the hallway. Holly popped out from around the corner a moment later. Her hair wild, her face lined from a long night's sleep.
"How are you doing, kiddo?"
She leaned on the white-framed entryway. "Meh."
"Yeah, I can understand that." I fought the urge to go to her and rub her arms. Tell her I was giving her my strength. I knew I couldn't begin to understand what was going through her mind at any given moment. All I could do was attempt to distract her.
"I need to head to the bookstore soon. Would you like to come with me?"
Holly made her way over to the kitchen table and plopped down in a chair. She put her elbows on the table and dropped her head into her hands.
"Does it have to be right now?" she said.
"It doesn't have to be right now. I'm not leaving for another hour, so you have some time to wake up a little, maybe eat some breakfast." I looked over to the time on the stove. "Or lunch. No judgment. I was a teenager once too," I said.
Then I chuckled, thinking of how many hours of my youth I slept away, unaware that they were the freest times of my life. I caught myself with that thought. Life wasn't exactly free for Holly. She was probably sleeping so much as an avoidance tactic, which I also understood.
Holly's head popped up and she swiped a hand across the table to gather the brochure that Sarah had brought over.
"What's Al-Anon?" she asked, flipping it over to read the back.
"Sarah was just here," I explained. "She brought that over thinking that it might help me with some things that I'm dealing with."
"Isn't this for alcoholics?" she said as she finished scanning the back and set it on the table.
"It is, but Sarah said it's good for people who love people with other types of addictions as well."
She looked confused momentarily and then realization took over.
"Oh," was all she said as she set the pamphlet back on the table. "I'm not hungry," she said as she stood from the chair and opened the fridge, "but I'll be ready to go in a half an hour."
She shut the fridge and walked out of the kitchen without another word. I hadn't intended to upset her with the mention of addiction, but it probably was a good time to bring it up, especially if I was going to successfully convince her to see a therapist while she stayed with us.
Nobody had any idea how long that would be, and I felt better knowing there would be someone who was better equipped than I to help her navigate the feelings that were going to come with all this uncertainty.
"Well, might as well go take a shower and get changed, Eden," I said.
She wagged her tail, always patiently waiting by my side for a snack or a pet, both of which I handed out to her freely.
"Time to start my day," I said, scratching her behind the ear.