Chapter 12
Chapter
I fear she may have taken all my sense of
reason with the tenderness of her touch.
Breathing seems like such a simple thing to do, until the sound of your heart racing, air slipping through your busted lips, is all there is between you and enduring. This is what I think as I step through the castle’s large metal doors for the very last time.
With Xander called away by Father, there’s only Frog to accompany me to the carriage. Which in truth, is more than I had expected. Though I do wish he’d say something. Anything.
I’ve nearly chewed my cheek raw replaying Thoren’s warning over and over in my head. Clearly, he’s misread Frog’s intentions. Then again…
Frog’s fingers graze mine as he delicately slips the frayed bag from my hand into his, and I swear I hear his breath hitch beneath his iron mask. Now even I’m wondering which it is that dominates his mind. Fear? Or something else entirely.
I watch as he disappears around the carriage to load the bag in the trunk, waiting and wondering if he’ll return to my side. The answer lands heavily in my chest when he strides off into the fog, back toward the castle.
I’m not left lonely for long. Merrek is quick to step into the empty space beside me, filling the silence with stories about a girl whose heart he broke—who lives somewhere on the other side of the realm.
I wouldn’t doubt his jokes are attributed to at least half of that heartache.
That or she wasn’t impressed by the old family cornbread recipe he’s shared with me. Twice.
I close my eyes briefly, putting any misplaced delusions laid by the prince to rest and then give the young bachelor the conversation he’s clearly been denied by his band of brothers, all of whom have made their exasperation evident.
Their dynamic is an odd one. How they’ve made it work thus far is a mystery I cannot wait to uncover.
“So, do you know any recipes for cake?” I smile, chuckling at Myrrdin’s silent pleas for his brother’s endless yapping to stop.
Merrek ignores him, of course, his eyes alight with glee. “Do I ever!”
I spend the next ten minutes listening to him tell me all about this baker’s daughter and all the different cakes she taught him how to bake.
Apparently, a great deal of pounding breaks were needed, which I find rather surprising.
I always thought dough to be on the softer side.
But I have been wrong before, and his enthusiasm on the topic leaves little room for doubt.
“How about the piping method? You know, the one where you pipe down and leave the princess be?” Myrrdin grunts from somewhere atop the carriage.
Honestly, their bickering is endearing, if not a healthy distraction. I’ve barely just noticed the drizzle of rain already soaking through the thin plain cloak Peony slipped me as I was all but thrown toward the front doors of the castle.
I swallow the lump in my throat as I look back on the walls that hold all my memories, and yet, hardly any at all. I hadn’t realized how long it’s been since I’ve gotten lost in a conversation. Five years. It’s been five years.
It’s nice. Entertaining even. Well, at least for me. Poor Myrrdin looks absolutely mortified by his brother’s utter disregard for things like social etiquette and personal space.
“Or, and here’s a fun idea, I could teach her how to make soup…using stick bugs.”
Before I can question it, Myrrdin appears standing on the ledge of the carriage, his sword drawn. “Over my dead body,” he seethes.
Merrek cocks a grin, leaning in so that he’s all but whispering in my ear. “He keeps one for a pet.”
“Oh.” I blink, holding back a smile. “That’s nice.”
Myrrdin’s hand shoots to his tunic, covering the small pocket there, his eyes ablaze with the kind of fire only a sibling can start. “He is not a pet. He is a companion.”
Myrrdin throws his head back in laughter. “He’s a stick with a ganglia for a brain!”
“At least he has one!”
“I think I left something…uh, over there.” I gesture toward nowhere in particular as I back away slowly, leaving the brothers to their squabble.
I hear something about being lucky and having a lot of legs when I stumble upon the fourth and final knight in the dark knight’s band.
He’s adjusting the breast harness on one of the four large horses, stroking its black coat as he softly coos its name, Silvermist. The others, also black coated apart from the white mane of a little one, nicker and whinny their impatience.
“You’re awfully good with them.” I say.
He doesn’t respond, so I inch closer and try again. “Are any of these yours?” I ask, running my hand over the horse with the white in its mane.
This time I know he hears me. His narrowed eyes the only thing he offers before moving to the other side of the carriage.
I huff impatiently, pulling the wet cloak tight around my shoulders, starved of any warmth. You’d think I’d be used to cold shoulders.
“Hey, you alright? You look a little blue.” Merrek jogs over, probably just realizing I was no longer standing at his side.
“I—”
“Merrek!” Myrrdin strides around the wagon, huffing as he does. “Where is your shame, you daft muck-spout?”
I’m tempted to ask what a muck-spout is when Merrek throws the attention back on me, gesturing toward my uncovered hands.
“Her. Hands. Are. Blue. Blue, Merrek. That’s not normal!” He waves his own hands wildly, emphasizing how very not normal they are. “No offense,” he quickly adds, offering me a lopsided smile.
I shrug. “Honestly, this is the least offensive thing that’s been said to me in the past forty-eight hours.”
He frowns at that.
“I apologize in advance, princess.” Merrek sighs, pushing his stray copper strands back into his neat coif.
My lips purse as I wait for an explanation. Instead, I get a scathing view of his very chiseled chest as he gently removes his tunic, setting it safely off to one side.
“For… what?” I ask on bated breath.
Myrrdin tsks, pressing his lips into a tight line, “For this.” He answers before tackling Merrek to the ground, throttling him like a limp sack of potatoes.
“She. Is. Cursed!” He yells over the ringing sound of Merrek’s chortled laughter.
“Aye, Bugs! Ladies’ man! Look sharp.”
I jolt at the gravelly voice barking orders just behind me.
The no-name knight stalks forward to stand at my side, seemingly unsettled as he ties his straight, dark locks away from his face with a small red cloth, revealing high, defined cheekbones, a strong jawline, and deep-set eyes.
In the moonlight, they almost look yellow.
He’s beautiful. In a rogue sort of way.
“Wolfe,” he whispers, lips barely moving.
“What? Where?” I draw myself closer to him, my eyes wide as I frantically search for a wild canine in the castle’s shadows.
The knights on the other hand, don’t seem the least bit concerned.
“My name,” he answers.
I stare blankly up at the burly man, the realization hitting me far later than it should. My cheeks flush with shame as I try to smooth the many wrinkles from my mussed up dress. “My deepest apologies. I—”
The knights snap to attention as Frog strides toward us, my father at his side.
I rush to bow, cursing as my unkempt hair falls free from the last of its pins.
“Sunday.”
“Father,” I reply in earnest, awaiting his approval to stand.
What follows is a painful, lingering silence.
Tears threaten to breach the surface when he orders, “See it done.”
I close my eyes, then nod.
I listen to his heels turn in the gravel, my knees wavering as he walks away. He’s nearly to the castle when he stops. Hope flutters in my chest.
“For the realm,” he calls.
“For the realm,” the men all repeat.
I blink. Once. Twice. “For the realm.”
For the realm.
That’s it? The back of my nose burns, dripping with salty tears that have finally slipped free onto the wet gravel. I shouldn’t be surprised by Father’s lack of sentiment. Or by the fact that Mother didn’t even bother to show. She’s no doubt still passed out drunk from last night’s dinner party.
And yet, it hurts.
This hurts.
I let the fire in my chest heat my cheeks, scorching the trails left behind by my tears. I refuse to leave this place with one less piece of myself, I vow, disregarding the pity in Myrrdin’s glistening eyes as I take his hand and step into the carriage.
I do not need his, or anyone else’s.
This is not where the love in my heart dies.