Chapter 23 Tuesday, April 4th #3
Cat came into our relationship with zero experience, and it’s been a hell of a journey—learning each other, figuring it out together.
Oral sex has mostly gone one way, and I’ve never minded.
I love getting her off with my mouth—how she tastes, how she sounds, how she melts under my tongue.
But she’s been hesitant to try it herself, always claiming she didn’t know what she was doing.
Lately though, something’s shifted. She’s taken more initiative, gotten bolder.
Like back in early January, when I woke up to her stroking me, slipping me inside her before I was even fully awake. Fuck, it was hot.
And then I broke it off. Biggest mistake of my life. One I will never make again.
“No one’s ever done that for you?” she asks, eyes soft.
I smile. “Nope.”
She hesitates. “What about Randi? You guys were together a while… She never…?”
I shake my head. “Not until I came. It was part of foreplay, never the endgame.”
Cat’s cheeks flush again, but her eyes are shining with pride. “So this was really a first?”
“Total first,” I say, smiling. “You gave me that.”
Her grin is so bright it lights up the whole damn kitchen.
“So… can I ask what brought this on?” I ask.
She takes a slow sip of water, then shrugs. “I’ve done a lot of soul-searching these past couple months. And I realized I’ve been ignoring my own needs—my own wants—to keep other people comfortable.”
Her words hit me right in the chest. My stomach twists. I never wanted her to feel like she had to sacrifice anything for me. The thought that I might’ve made her feel that way, even unintentionally, makes me sick.
She must see it in my face, because her hand comes up to gently touch the scar under my eye. “Never you, Ran,” she says softly. “By the time I met you, those patterns were already in place. But yeah… I’ve held back. With my thoughts. My feelings. What I wanted.”
I nod, drinking in her words like they’re oxygen, letting them sink into my bones. “Please don’t hold back,” I rasp, suddenly choked up. Post-orgasm crash, maybe. Or just her.
“I won’t,” she says. “You promised me you wouldn’t. So I won’t either.”
“Yeah. Deal.”
“Deal,” she echoes. “And as part of that: what just happened? That was something I’ve secretly wanted for a while.
I wanted to make you come like that. I wanted to feel you give in to me, Ran.
I love watching you lose control. You’re always so careful, so guarded, but when we have sex…
you let go. I see it in your eyes, feel it in your body.
The way you tense right before, the way you give yourself over?
I love it. I love you,” she says, voice low and thick, pupils blown wide.
Her words send a pulse of heat straight through me. My cock stirs, already waking up again. Jesus. There’s no end to this.
“Are you sore?” I whisper, my gaze dropping to where her thighs disappear under that dress. We’ve been at it like animals, and the last thing I want is to push her past pleasure into pain.
“A little,” she whimpers. “But I want you. Now.”
That sounds like consent to me.
“You have me,” I say, my voice raw. “You’ve always had me.”
I scoop her up, hands under her ass, and carry her out of the kitchen and into the small bathroom off the mudroom. What I’m about to do to her can’t happen out here in the kitchen.
Too risky.
Cat
Yep, I’m definitely sore now. But it’s not painful per se.
It’s a delicious kind of ache, the kind that comes with repeated stimulation, increased blood flow, muscles stretching and clenching again.
And again. And again. Still, I’m nowhere near sated—not after months without Ronan—and neither is he, judging by how quickly he came unglued again once he had me perched on the bathroom counter, my ass teetering on the edge, my legs wrapped around his waist as he thrust into me at a steady but relentless pace.
Eventually, though, the sounds of life outside the house pull us back to earth, reminding us we’re not alone on this planet. With flushed cheeks and lingering touches, Ronan helps me straighten up, then disappears upstairs to change into jeans and a t-shirt.
Minutes later, after stealing one last kiss, he loads the booze into the truck and we head back to the barn. It’s obvious we’ve been missed.
“Where the hell did you guys go?” Shane asks as Ronan and I make our way back to the reception, where everyone’s gathered around the tables waiting for food to be served.
“We picked up the booze and I needed to change,” Ronan says simply.
Shane laughs. “I’m honestly shocked you stayed in that suit as long as you did. Do you remember my confirmation? You were so grumpy in your shiny dress shoes.”
Ronan chuffs. “They’re the worst. In fact, I’ve got blisters on my heels right now.”
“Dude, the moment I saw the shoes Penny picked out for us, I knew she’d never stepped foot on a ranch,” Steve says with a throaty chuckle.
“Did you guys say anything?” Tori asks.
“Fuck no. It’s Penny’s day,” Ronan says quickly. “We can suck it up for a few hours.”
And that’s one of the many reasons I love him.
“Except the first chance you got, you were out of that getup,” Miranda says, strolling to the table and dropping into an empty chair beside Steve.
I’ve got a whole new appreciation for Miranda—since our talk, since Ronan’s and my reunion. She’s dressed in a flowing periwinkle dress, her hair loose for once instead of in its usual braid, strappy heels dangling from one finger.
“I could say the same for you,” Ronan says, nodding at her bare feet stretched gratefully in front of her.
Miranda shrugs. “Do I strike you as a black-dress-and-heels kind of girl?”
“No,” Ronan deadpans.
Miranda frowns. “Why does that offend me?”
“I don’t know,” Ronan says, unfazed. “It shouldn’t. I’m not saying you don’t look good—I’m saying you’re not usually someone who chooses to wear what you’re wearing right now.”
Miranda seems satisfied with that response.
“I happen to think you look absolutely amazing,” Tori chimes in, raising her champagne glass toward Miranda in a casual toast.
“I agree,” I say, snagging what looks like an orphaned glass and mimicking Tori.
Miranda smiles widely. “Aww.”
“Are you going to sing some more after we eat?” I ask.
“Probably,” Miranda says with a quick nod.
“Speaking of singing,” Shane says, leaning forward on his elbows, suddenly all business. “You’re pretty great on stage,” he tells Miranda, then grins at Ronan. “You, too, man.”
Ronan squints at his best friend like he’s trying to detect sarcasm.
“I’m serious, Ran,” Shane says, then turns back to Miranda. “Would you ever consider coming to New York and performing?”
Miranda’s eyes go wide, jaw dropping. “Fuck yes,” she says without hesitation.
“Nice,” Shane chuckles. “I don’t know if you know this, but Ran and I work together. My parents own a few Irish pubs in the city and I run one of them.”
“Murphy’s, right?” Miranda asks.
“Yeah.” Shane nods, pride lighting his face. “We’ve had live bands before, but now that I’m really taking over I want to make some changes. Start featuring more up-and-coming acts, especially on weekends. The place is always packed, and I kinda love the idea of giving new talent a shot, you know?”
Miranda’s totally locked in now, nodding along with every word.
“You’re pretty fucking amazing on stage,” Shane says. “You should come out to New York this summer. Play a few gigs at Murphy’s.”
“Fuck, I’d totally love to,” Miranda says, her whole face lighting up. But then it dims. “The only problem is, I’m just starting to get back on my feet. Not sure I could swing it. Isn’t New York, like, stupid expensive?”
“Well, yeah,” Shane says, “but we could figure something out.”
“You could stay with the boys at their apartment,” Tori says.
Miranda looks at Ronan, clearly seeking his take.
“Where would she sleep, though?” Ronan asks.
Miranda grins. “In bed with you,” she says without missing a beat. Honestly, she and Ronan have such similar personalities.
“Randi, I like you, so let me put this gently: the fuck you will,” I say, grinning.
Everyone cracks up.
“Okay,” Miranda laughs. “Maybe the couch then?”
“Dang, Ran, two hot chicks fighting over you,” Steve says with mock appreciation.
Ronan flicks a nonexistent speck of dirt off his shoulder. “Well, you know, story of my life.”
“Seriously,” Tori chimes in. “Like those two girls Shane said you went home with in March.”
Ronan’s and my expressions shift at the same time into matching frowns. He did what?
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Ronan asks.
“Oh, come on, Ran,” Shane says with a low chuckle. “Remember those two girls at Murphy’s? Really hot, totally made it obvious they wanted to take you home?”
Ronan’s face doesn’t change.
“Dude, you don’t remember? They said they lived nearby, gave you their numbers, told you to text if you were up for some fun.”
“I remember,” Ronan says. “But I didn’t hook up with them.”
Shane blinks. “The fuck you mean?”
“I didn’t meet up with them, Shay,” Ronan says, calm but firm. “I went for a fucking walk.”
“Come on, Ran…” Shane starts, but trails off.
“I’m serious,” Ronan says.
“Ran, it’s okay,” I say, resting my hand lightly on his chest. It doesn’t hurt, not really, not compared to knowing about Miranda. That was the blow.
“Guys, I’m serious. I didn’t hook up that night. I got off work and just… walked.”
“But you didn’t get home till like seven the next morning,” Shane says, brow furrowed.
“Yeah, because I got so wasted I passed out on a park bench. Some homeless dude woke me at five-thirty, said I was in his favorite spot. So I walked back to Murphy’s, got in my car, and drove home.”
“You passed out on a bench?” Miranda asks, incredulous.
“Yeah.” Ronan shrugs. “Not my proudest moment. But I was trashed,” he says, then turns to me. “Baby, seeing you at Murphy’s that night… fuck, it hurt like a bitch. And then Shane said you and Vada were meeting up with those guys. I just wanted to numb myself.”
I think of what Miranda told me, how Ronan used to sedate himself with meaningless sex when he was hurting.
“Did I think about hooking up with those two chicks? Yeah,” Ronan says, voice low, eyes locked on mine.
“But I stood in front of their building with a bottle of Jack in my hand, and all I could think about was you. So I kept walking. Walked until I couldn’t anymore.
Sat on a bench. Passed out. Honestly? It’s kind of a miracle I’m alive. ”
“Must’ve been a less sleazy part of town,” Shane mutters.
“The universe was looking out for me,” Ronan says. “But no, I didn’t sleep with them.”
“Jesus, you had a shot at a threesome and didn’t take it?” Steve asks, eyebrows raised.
“Nope,” Ronan says, flashing my favorite half-smile.
“That’s love right there,” Steve says with a nod.
“Ugh, finally!” Shane groans with the arrival of a loaded plate in front of him.
Dinner is served, the kind of hearty, comforting meal that hits the spot after a long day.
Once everyone’s plates are cleared, Frank and Penny cut the cake to cheers and laughter, then share their first dance as husband and wife under the soft glow of string lights before the floor opens up to everyone else.
“Which one of my boys is going to willingly embarrass themselves to dance with me?” Saoirse’s voice interrupts the chatter around our table.
Ronan’s hand slides around my waist. “Not me. I’m taken,” he says with a chuckle.
“So am I,” Steve says grumpily, folding his arms in front of his chest.
“Psh, so you’ve been saying, but you have yet to provide evidence to substantiate your claim,” Shane says dryly.
“Ember does sound suspiciously like a made-up name,” Ronan says with a nod.
Steve’s mouth opens, then shuts again. Abruptly, he stands from his chair. “I’ll dance with you, Morai.”
“That’s what I thought,” Ronan mutters with a sly smirk. Steve flips him off while the rest of us laugh.
“Oh, you know what I was thinking? You all should go for a nice trail ride tomorrow,” Saoirse says with a decisive nod before she turns her gaze to me. “You’ve ridden before, right?”
Ronan doesn’t miss a single beat. “Oh, she’s ridden before,” he says, an unmistakable smirk on his face.
“Rony, pretty sure your grandma was talking about horses,” Miranda says nonchalantly.
Saoirse’s gasp is drowned out by the sputtering and snorting laughs from Shane, Tori, and Steve. I just sit there and wait for the skin to melt off my face.
“You two,” Saoirse scolds, her gaze moving between Ronan and Miranda with a huff. “Unbelievable.”
“Sorry, Morai, but you set yourself up for that one,” he laughs. He turns to me, only to brush his thumb over the apple of my cheek. “I’ve always loved how easily your face gives you away.”
Saoirse exhales deeply, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Can’t stay upset with him for long,” she says to me, then hooks her arm under Steve’s, ready to take the dance floor. But not before turning back to us. “Take Cat for a ride, Ronan!”
“Will do,” Ronan says to her with another chuckle.
“A horseback ride.” Saoirse shakes her head. “Honestly, Ronan.”
As Saoirse and Steve head for the dance floor, the rest of us linger at the table, the air still filled with laughter. Eventually Shane and Ronan ask Tori and me to dance.
I spend the rest of the afternoon and evening in Ronan’s arms, swaying under the barn’s twinkling lights, and for a moment, everything feels soft and golden—like the universe really is looking out for us.