Chapter 33 Poppy
“ I may just be in cat heaven,” I say between mouthfuls of the most delicious omelet I’ve ever tasted. Samson has insisted on sitting on my lap as I eat, which, fur notwithstanding, is quite comfortable. I could get used to this . Sitting here with Owen, and Samson snuggled against me, something feels right.
Despite our forwardness on the walk back, and everyone’s encouragement, I still am worried that I’m jumping into something too early. Steven and I were together for so long and I was so head over heels for him, I’m nervous I might be rebounding with anyone I date next. No matter how kind they are or how great of an omelet chef they may be. And how cute their cat is. Leaning over, I give Samson a scratch behind his ears before stroking down his long and very furry back.
New chapter. It’s time to stop comparing and thinking about what I may or may not be doing and just focus on the here and now.
“I’m still shocked he’s sitting with you like that.” It’s hard to meet Owen’s look and not feel the sudden intimacy of being here, alone in his apartment. I turn my attention back to my food before our stare can get too intense.
“How are things going for you at school, do you feel like you’re settling in, er, back in, I suppose?” How do I keep forgetting he was here while I wasn’t?
“Yeah, I think so. Everyone has been so helpful and welcoming. I felt pretty awkward after the whole being chosen second thing by the admin. I understand why, but it still bugs me.” He wrinkles his nose up and shakes his head slightly, as if he’s still trying to get over the sting of the situation.
“Everyone I have talked with believes you were always the right person for the job. I don’t think it means anything about you or your teaching that the district was pushing another agenda.”
He meets my eyes again and this time I don’t do anything to lessen the chemistry between us. “Thank you,” he says, his voice all gravelly again like when we were on the boardwalk. Without thinking, I reach out, resting my hand on top of his.
We both stare at our hands.
Is this okay?
Owen continues without addressing the issue of our hands. “You know, my grandma always used to tell me that things don’t come to us always how we want them to, but they do come how they’re meant to. It always seemed kind of cheesy to me, but as I’ve gotten older it really seems like she was right.”
All I can do is nod. I want to kiss him . He’s sitting with his back to the window, the sun a little higher now is shining around him, the transparent curtains muting it slightly. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold back what has been slowly building in me from the moment I saw him at the staff development day. I want to kiss him . Summoning all the self-confidence and sexy attitude I can, I stand up, and set Samson down on the ground.
Moving so my body is right next to him, I lean down, placing one hand on the back of his chair and the other on the table. Bringing my face to within centimeters of his own, my eyes search his. Is this still what you want? Owen reaches up, tracing his hand along my jaw, running his thumb over the corner of my lips. My heart hitches at his touch, racing at the thought of actually giving into whatever has been between us since Andi’s wedding. With a sudden burst of confidence, I hook my leg over his lap and lower slowly onto him.
“Poppy?” he asks.
Before he can say another word and my mind can stop me, I lean forward, pressing my lips into his. He moves his hands to my hair, holding onto my now disheveled ponytail in a way that leaves me wanting so much more. That feeling of being myself is back. Freedom to do this or whatever else I might want to. He seems to accept me just as I am, knowing when to support me and step up, and when I need some space.
My lips part, allowing him more access, my tongue reaching forward to find his. But before they do, he pulls back. His gaze is smoldering, but his body gives a very different message, leaning away from me. “What?” I whisper.
“You have seemed so unsure about things and I don’t want you to feel forced or like you want to hide whatever is going on between us.”
“I don’t.” But he’s right, I have been unsure. “Steven really…”
“Was awful to you?” he offers.
Nodding, I continue, “Yes, he made me wary. It isn’t you, it’s anyone . I thought for so long that he was my person, but he wasn’t and that seems so obvious now, but I couldn’t see it while I was in it.”
“That makes sense.”
“I like you. I am interested in seeing where this goes, but things feel…” I hesitate, trying to find the right word. “ Charged , with you living here permanently. This is my home, too, and I’m worried about jeopardizing friendships.” My mind goes to Andi, Brandon, Noah, and everyone else I’m close with.
“You think they couldn’t handle it if it didn’t work out between us?”
“No, they could, I think I just am nervous is all I’m trying to say. But I’d like to see where things go.” He looks hesitant, unsure of what to say next.
“What if we went out a few times, just as friends to see how things go? No pressure.”
No pressure? We’ll see.