Chapter 65 Poppy
I don’t think I’ve ever tried to put a puzzle together quite as fast as I am right now. I allow myself some short breaks to grab a bite of pizza or another wing before diving right back in again. The guys are quick, but I think I’ll be faster once I find all these illusive boat pieces.
Despite my best intentions, my attention feels pulled from the puzzle back to Owen. I know that we need to talk and this game night was probably a bad idea given how the tension has been between us. Seeing how this is affecting him makes me feel selfish, but I can’t help that I like to be around him even when there are unspoken things between us.
Noah looks at me and nods towards Owen. He thought this would help the issue between us, but I know that nothing will really fix this until we figure out what our plan is moving forward. Everything is a big question mark right now and even I struggle with not knowing what comes next. Owen is a planner, and I can’t even imagine what this must be doing to him.
Not feeling quite ready to bridge the divide yet, I opt for tactical choice. “Did you see Cicely’s final piece? She dropped it off yesterday and it took my breath away.”
Noah looks up at me again momentarily, squinting his eyes before his gaze returns to the puzzle. “I’m not going to fall for your distraction trickery.”
“Distraction trickery?” I scoff, knowing he’s right. Owen lets out a small chuckle before eating a few more fries.
After another ten minutes of searching, it’s become apparent that I cannot win this race. Noah and Owen are almost finished with the outline and I have barely half of the boat completed. Sighing, I dramatically stand up. “I concede, gentlemen, this is too hard and I have decided I’m getting more wine instead.”
Taking the two steps to the kitchen, I turn back and see both men are looking up at me and the energy of the room has changed dramatically.
“You gave up so easily,” Owen says quietly, shrugging his shoulders and running his hand down his glass before finishing off his drink.
“I wasn’t going to win and the wine sounds better at the moment.” Trying to lighten the mood, I add, “Anyone want popcorn?”
“So you just gave up and left?”
I freeze in my tracks because suddenly it doesn’t feel like we’re talking about the puzzle anymore. Noah fidgets nervously in his chair before announcing he needs to go to the bathroom. Owen and I look at each other. Then his gaze lands squarely on a piece of puzzle in front of him, he turns it with his finger, fiddling to avoid the inevitable.
Waiting until Noah is safely in the bathroom, I ask, “What do you want to say?”
“How can you not know what you want?” His voice is desperate, sad.
Taking a deep breath, I consider how to respond. I’ve been waiting for this conversation for over a month now but still don’t feel wholly prepared for it despite how many times I’ve gone over it in my head. “Because you’re here and you want to stay here.”
“You never even asked me what I wanted.” Crossing his arms over his chest, I push down the urge to run over to him. To sit on his lap and kiss his lips and to keep pretending that none of this exists.
“Since even before we were together you’ve talked about how you want to be with your family, how that’s the most important thing to you. How could I ever pull you away from that?” Tears threaten to fall down my cheeks. He’s talking like I don’t care about him and never considered him, but that is exactly what I am trying to do.
“Sounds like you’ve already decided what you want to do.”
“No, Owen—” But before I can even get the words out, Noah has returned from the bathroom, looking even more uncomfortable than he did previously.
We all stay in an awkward silence for a moment before Noah breaks it. “I think something with the pizza didn’t sit right for me, I’m going to head out. You can just bring the puzzle to school and I’ll get it from you there.”
We both nod at Noah, I walk him to the door and whisper, “Sorry,” as he leaves. He reaches up and wipes a now fallen tear off my cheek before giving a knowing smile and heading off into the night.
Closing the door and turning back towards the living room, my eyes lock with Owen’s once more and my heart skips a beat. My love for him has continually grown over the past six months and I can see how much this is hurting him, which hurts me. I don’t know how to approach this conversation without one of us being hurt more.
“I haven’t decided anything . I feel like I can’t decide. There is no right answer.” I hold up my hands as a peace offering, moving to sit next to him at the table. I try to reach out a hand to his knee, but he moves away in one swift move, which hurts even more than I thought it would.
“Poppy, I—” He leans forward and kisses me before he can finish the words. We both fall into a tangle of emotion and passion and sadness, kissing one another with everything we have before everything changes.