Chapter 19
Chapter nineteen
I’m across the street and bursting into the house in a flash.
“Ivy!” I yell as the door swings shut behind me.
There’s a small crash from the kitchen and a gasped, “Eve?”
I sprint toward the sound and find Ivy standing next to the counter over a plate of dropped cookies.
We both squeal as I rush forward and wrap her up in the biggest embrace. She’s warm and solid, and my heart is so full as we rock back in forth after what feels like forever.
Once we’ve finally gotten our fill, we lean back with our arms still linked, far enough to see each other but not ready to let go.
“What are you doing here?” I blurt as Ivy asks, “Where have you been?”
“The decorations look amazing. I had no idea you were doing all this,” Ivy says while I tell her, “I just got back from Ms. Thomas’s house. Did you know her and Dad were an item?”
“I missed you so much!” we end up saying in perfect sync.
“Copy!” Ivy fires out.
“Ugh! Paste.”
We erupt into giggles and hug again.
“Okay, okay,” I say, trying to get ahold of myself. It’s hard to do when shocks of elation course through my body like electricity.
My cheeks hurt from how wide my smile is as I look my sister over, taking stock of her red sweater dress and favorite fur lined boots. Her eyes are bright with happiness and her skin glows. The most notable difference, of course, is her flatter stomach.
I can’t believe she’s standing in front of me.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“Amani was finally released a few days ago. I’m telling you Eve, it was like a miracle.
One day they were saying it’d possibly be another couple of weeks before she was strong enough, then out of nowhere she made a total turnaround.
Braxton’s parents wanted us to stay with them throughout Christmas, but I had the feeling you needed me here more. ”
A knot of emotion is stuck in my throat and all I can do is nod.
“And, wow, Sissy. The woman that you are…I cannot believe everything you did here.” Ivy’s gaze sweeps from the kitchen and into the living room.
“The lights. The tree. And my gosh, you seriously found our janky little Christmas village and made it shine. And the cookies? I was on my third helping.” She laughs, shaking her head. “I can’t thank you enough for it all.”
I almost mention how I was only able to do it with Grant’s help, but his name gets stuck in my throat. I don’t know if Grant told Braxton anything about us, and I don’t want to ruin this moment by telling Ivy how I pushed him away after all.
Before I have to say anything, a small cry slices through the silence. I turn and see Braxton coming forward while gently rocking a tiny bundle side to side. “Someone’s hungry,” he says, voice warm.
Ivy immediately holds her hands out. “Come here, Sunshine.”
Braxton hands over his treasure then immediately wraps me in a bear hug.
“Thank you, Eve. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for us. I know I said it a million times already, but it still doesn’t feel like enough.” He places a soft kiss on my forehead.
I never realized how similar in stature he and Grant are. I’ll forever love Braxton for how much he loves my sister and now my nieces, but his hug reminds me of how much I miss Grant’s arms around me. Grant’s hugs, gentle and unwavering, felt like being encased in love.
“Do you want me to make her a bottle?” Braxton asks Ivy.
Ivy shakes her head. “No. We haven’t unpacked the formula yet, and this little one is ready to go feral.
” The baby in her arms turns toward Ivy’s clothed chest with her mouth open, reminding me of a nesting baby bird waiting for food to magically appear in their open beaks. “I’ll go upstairs and nurse her.”
Ivy beams at me. “My milk came in! My supply is still low so thank God the nurses supplied me with a few cans of formula. These babies can eat.”
As if the baby in her arms understands what Ivy’s saying, she butts Ivy’s chest even more and lets out a frustrated cry.
“Okay, okay,” Ivy coos. “Let’s get you fed.”
I follow Ivy upstairs and into the nursery where she gets settled in the rocking chair with the baby and nursing pillow. Framed by the window and low light from the hallway, this scene is exactly how I imagined it would be.
I quietly move to the crib holding the still sleeping baby.
“Who is who?” I whisper.
“You’re looking at Amani. And this is Nia.”
My gaze lingers on sweet sleeping Amani.
She’s swaddled in a pink blanket with a knitted red and white cap on, so all I see is her angelic face.
Her complexion is a light golden brown a few shades lighter than both Ivy and Braxton, making me wonder when her melanin will bloom. And her lips are the perfect bow shape.
“You can pick her up,” Ivy encourages.
I hesitate, not wanting to wake her, but ultimately my need to finally hold her wins out. I gently scoop her from the crib and position her carefully in my arms. She doesn’t so much as stir.
“Ivy, you made a whole baby,” I whisper, looking down at my perfect niece, marveling at how light and warm she feels in my arms.
“Well, I had some help.”
I glance up to find the smirk I heard in Ivy’s voice.
“And, I think you mean I made two whole babies,” she corrects.
“Do you think Nia told her little sister to get better so y’all could come home?”
There’s the sound of rustling clothes before Ivy comes to stand beside me. “If she’s anything like my big sister, she was rallying her and encouraging her the whole time.”
We face each other. Twins holding twins. This is all I wanted, yet my heart in no way feels whole. There are too many missing pieces.
“Dad would have loved seeing us like this,” Ivy says on a sigh. “And he would have made a great grandpa.”
No surprise that our thoughts, as always, align.
“He would have,” I say.
We don’t need to say more. Our grief is the same, but so are our memories of him.
I know that beneath Ivy’s ache flows the same deep current of love, laughter, and joy that shaped me into the woman I am today.
This Christmas hurts without him here, but his love still lingers, wrapping around us like a quiet blessing.
After a while, Amani wakes to be fed then both babies are sleeping again. Ivy and I stand at the window, gazing into the kind of quiet only felt the night before Christmas.
“Braxton’s parents are coming tomorrow,” Ivy tells me. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. They’re your family and this is your house now, remember?”
“I know I live here now, but this will always be your home too. You have just as much history here as me.” Identical eyes lock on mine.
“I swear this year tried to do me in. Losing Dad, getting pregnant right after the wedding, moving while pregnant. And you’ve been right here through it all, keeping me sane and encouraged.
” She frowns. “I can’t help but wonder if maybe I leaned on you too much. ”
“Ivy, I’m your big sister. Being here for you to lean on is my job.”
“You’re eight minutes older and a quarter of an inch taller. When will you let it go?”
“When you magically become taller and older than me.” I give her a look that says duh, and her eyes promise retribution.
“What I’m trying to say is that it goes both ways.
You don’t have to carry everything on your own.
You’ve got family to lean on, and a home open to you whenever you need it.
Always.” She heaves a heavy sigh. “For the record, even though you’re barely older than me—I will always need my big sister around. ”
I lay my head on her shoulder, careful not to jostle either of the babies.
Ivy hums a sweet tune to fill the silence.
“Braxton spoke to Grant while we were driving home,” she says after a while. “Apparently, he’s back in San Antonio and is going to try and catch a last-minute flight to see Destiny tomorrow instead of coming to meet the most beautiful babies in the world. Is there something you need to tell me?”
This should be the part where I spill everything—that holding everything together has felt impossible at times, while other times the fear of losing more people I love threatens to crush me. And despite it all, Grant somehow slipped under my defenses, filled the cracks and made me whole.
But the words lodge in my throat. So, knowing she’s going to kill me later, I shake my head. “Not yet.”
Car headlights blend with Christmas lights as Ms. Thomas pulls into her driveway. She gets out of the car with an armful of shopping bags likely from the Christmas Market.
“I can’t believe her and Dad had a secret romance,” Ivy says, then softer, “I’m glad he had her.”
“Me too.”
“And I know it’s not the same, but I’m glad you had Grant with you this past month, even if you won’t tell me what happened. I’m bummed to have missed all of our Christmas traditions, but at least you weren’t alone.”
The relief of having Ivy home fades as a weight presses in on me. I had Grant. And I pushed him away.
I think about how he admitted the loneliness of keeping himself apart from his family after leaving the NBA, but his vow to do better.
To show up for them. For me. My stomach twists now thinking of how he’s currently alone instead of spending time with his brother and nieces after all the hard work he put into the house, while I’m here surrounded by love. Nothing about this is right.
And just like that, a plan forms.
“There is one tradition we can do together,” I tell Ivy, already thinking up my new list.
Ivy gasps. “That’s right! Our Christmas Eve movie. How could I forget? Let’s put Nia and Amani down and watch it before it gets too late.”
“Wait.” I look down at my niece and my heart melts all over again. “Can we bring them? I need to make up for lost cuddles.”
“Of course.”
Ivy and I go downstairs, settling onto the couch with the babies nestled close. The Preacher’s Wife starts up as Braxton joins us, kissing Ivy, kissing his daughters, and sliding right into the warmth of our little circle.
I soak it all in while I can. Love, family, Christmas magic. And tomorrow, I’ll make everything right.