Chapter 6 – Riley Thomas
Riley Thomas
N aps are great. I'm a big fan. Not that we're well acquainted with each other these days. My eyes pop open and I'm immediately on full alert. Lily is quiet and Cove is nowhere to be seen.
The clock beside the bed says it's just after four p.m. It was two p.m. when I promised myself I'd only close my eyes for five minutes.
Jumping up, I get myself together real damn quick. Lily is missing from her bassinet. These men are unreal. I don't know if I'm eternally grateful someone let me sleep or immensely pissed they keep overstepping boundaries.
The hallway right outside the bedroom I was given spills directly into the lower level living room.
The room is huge with double French doors that face the water.
It's a massive space with a high ceiling and incredible architectural details.
The stairway to the second floor is open at the top and the ceiling goes all the way to the second floor roof.
How the hell can they afford to heat this house?
Killian sits on the floor with Cove on one side and Lily on the other. Cove is out cold with a throw pillow under her head and her bottom up in the air. Her pull-up peeks out the top of her pajama pants.
Cove was fully potty trained before Lily was born, but she regressed. She started peeing her pants again. She'd shrug and say, "I need you to change me."
The pediatrician assured me it's normal for toddlers to want that extra attention and hopefully over the next few months she'll get back to where she was.
Lily is lying on her back on a blanket trying to catch her foot to chew on it. Killian is simply staring at the raging fire. The dark wood floor is cool under my bare feet as I aim for Killian and the girls.
"Wow, you're like the kid whisperer," I say, taking a seat by Lily.
Killian shrugs a giant shoulder.
"Did I sleep through her crying?" I ask, nodding to Lily.
"No," Killian says. He looks taken aback. "Figured you needed the rest. Kept thinking she was going to be up any time and when I went to check she was wiggling around."
"Thank you," I whisper. "You didn't have to do that."
Killian frowns. "I know I didn't, but I wanted to."
I have no clue what to say to that.
Jeremy was always busy. When he was around, he couldn't be bothered to help.
In the off season he wanted to chill with his friends and have me take care of him.
He gave me the two best gifts I could ever ask for.
He also took full advantage of a naive girl from a broken home.
Nearly every hard lesson of life I've learned was at Jeremy's hands.
I gave him almost four years of my life.
Apparently, I'm worth approximately a hundred thousand dollars a year.
Or he figured four hundred thousand dollars was the expected cost of raising two kids for eighteen years.
I'm not really sure what goes through that man's mind.
I never wanted his money. I wanted the guy he pretended to be when he groomed me to be his omega. I was such a foolish, stupid girl.
Over the years, I had to grow up real quick.
Some of that polished act faded immediately upon discovering I was pregnant with Cove.
The rest faded about the time he tore his ACL and realized his career was over.
Needless to say, there aren't many occasions I can recall where he helped with Cove and none with Lily.
Jeremy has only seen Lily twice and once was the day in Cannon's restaurant.
"That was very kind of you," I tell Killian, biting my lip. It really is one of the nicest things anyone's done for me in a long time.
I can't help but wonder if I fell into a Hallmark movie... Am I in a coma? Did I fall into an alternate dimension? Land in a place where random guys help out with kids that aren't theirs? Where genuinely good human beings do nice things without expecting anything in return?
Does that really exist? Not in my experience.
"Don't look so shocked," Killian rumbles.
Shaking my head, I smile over at him.
"Sorry," I whisper, glancing away. My eyes ache like they're welling up with tears. Biting my cheek, I take a few deep breaths.
I don't remember the acclimation being quite so drastic after I gave birth to Cove. Maybe the hormones are worse this time around? It's hard to tell. My emotions are erratic and overwhelming.
Life was so much simpler with only one kid. It's a terrible thought to have, but it's true.
Cove is finally sleeping through the night. I'd gotten the hang of grocery shopping, running errands, everything really… with a toddler in tow. It's much different with a toddler and a baby.
Jeremy already knew he was done with me before my last heat. He still couldn't manage to be a decent guy. Lily's existence is definitely fifty percent on my shoulders, but if I hadn't been hazy out of my mind with the heat then I sure as hell would have been a lot more vigilant about protection.
You'd think already having one kid he didn't want, he would have been careful. That's just not how things played out.
Jeremy's team traded him up here. Well not here exactly, but a few hours away.
Cove and I moved to stay close to him. I missed an appointment for my birth control shot and I knew it.
I warned him multiple times. Shaking my head, I sigh.
Obsessing about all the mistakes I've made doesn't change a damn thing.
"Cove is quite the artist," Killian says, studying my face. "She colored you a picture, but I promised we'd hang it on the fridge to proudly display her artistry."
An awkward chuckle bubbles out. Cove is a terrible artist. Then again, she's three. Killian is so damn kind, good, thoughtful… None of those words seem to do him justice.
"Why do you look so sad?" he asks, tipping my chin up to look at him.
"I'm not," I say, shaking my head and staring at my lap.
"You are," he rumbles in his low gravelly tone.
"Just overwhelmed," I say with a shrug. "I'm sorry to be a hassle. You guys probably wanted to enjoy your storm vacation without having to look after some random chick and her kids."
"You're not a bother," Killian says. "It's no trouble."
I scoff. I'm well aware of how much trouble I am.
"I should probably make Lily a bottle before Cove wakes up," I say, preparing to push myself off the floor.
"Already fed her," Killian says, nodding to the mostly empty bottle I missed at his side.
My head shakes and I swallow thickly. My hands clench in my lap. I try and fail to hold back the sob that rattles in my chest.
Killian freezes. I bury my face in my hands.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
"Jesus Christ," Killian grumbles. "Whatever I did, we'll fix it."
A strained sound between a laugh and a sob comes out.
Killian stares in shock for several seconds before he acts.
He moves slowly, but wraps a huge, strong hand under my arm and around my back.
His other hand clutches at my hip and he lifts me into his lap.
He tucks my head under his chin. Running one hand over my head and the other over my back, he comforts me.
My nostrils flare as I breathe in his scent. It’s a combination of cedar and pine.
"I made one of the already mixed ones," Killian says into my hair. "I didn't mess it up. Just warmed it to normal temperature."
"I'm sorry," I sob. "I think I slept for too long."
That's what came out of my mouth?
I'm totally losing my shit. It's been coming for a while. No matter how flexible the material, if you bend it enough it'll break. Okay, I don't actually know that for sure, but I'm pretty sure.
"You're alright," Killian says. His voice is soothing. He probably should be worried for my mental health. I am at this point.
"It's nothing you did." I finally manage to get the words out. "I'm so sorry."
"You've got to stop apologizing," Killian says. "You're killing me."
"I'm good," I say, trying to push myself off his lap. He holds me tighter, patting my back like I do for Cove when she's overly tired and refuses to sleep.
"You're not." His words are firm, but not rude. "And that's alright too. Give yourself a break once in a while. No one has their life together all the time. Anyone who tells you different is a damn liar." He raises his eyebrows. "Or delusional."
"Thanks," I say, moving so I can check on Lily. Killian spins me around so I'm sitting between his legs facing the fire. Lily is okay, still happily trying to chew on the foot of her footie pajamas.
"Everything is fine. There's no rush. Nowhere else you're supposed to be or something you're supposed to be doing.
Take a few breaths and just be here in the moment," Killian says, pulling me back against his chest. "Pot roast is in the oven for dinner.
It's simple, just some potatoes and carrots. You two eat that?"
"Yeah," I whisper, nodding.
"Good," Killian says. His body is warm behind mine. My arms rest against his jean covered thighs. His breath is hot as it fans over my head and neck. He's just so damn peaceful.
Killian Adler is stoic and steady. It's unreal how calming his presence is despite the fact we barely know each other.
Cove wakes up. Yawning and rubbing at her eyes, she spots me and Killian and comes over. Killian stretches out an arm and Cove runs into it. He puts her on his thigh. She leans her head against my arm and her small hand rests on my chest.
"Love you Mommy," she whispers before falling back to sleep. Lily wiggles away on her blanket and I just breathe through the moment.
There was always something about Jeremy that made my instincts a little uncomfortable. I was too young to fully understand that those impulses were actually my body's biological urge to protect me from danger. Jeremy put out sketchy vibes, but I was too oblivious to catch on.
When you've been so wrong about someone in the past it can be truly terrifying to consider trusting someone again.
Problems pile up and I do my best to tackle them head on, but I always manage to make the wrong choices. It's difficult to trust yourself when you've failed so spectacularly in the past.
Having the girls keeps me going despite my many fuck-ups. You've got to keep trucking along when you have kids counting on you.
The loneliness and sadness have gotten worse since Lily was born, but I'm not like my brother.
Bryan wasn't a bad person. He was just extremely selfish.
Being so many years older, he was able to get away from our fucked up family.
He jumped ship the first opportunity he got.
I hadn't seen him for almost a year when he died.
He sent money to our mom, but he had to know I'd never see a dime of it.
Lara Thomas got worse the longer he sent money. Not better. Finding out he committed suicide was a deep blow. He wasn't a bad big brother, he always tried to look out for me. There were just too many challenges for him to overcome. He obviously inherited our mother's issues with addiction.
Luckily that's one thing I haven't had the chance to fall victim to.
Seeing Lara fucked up basically every day of my life made sure I never wanted to touch the stuff.
Bryan lived a different kind of lifestyle.
He was in a pretty famous band before his death four years ago.
When Bryan died his money went to Lara and me, but mine is stuck in a trust I can't access until I'm twenty-five.
Who the hell knows why he set it up that way, but he did.
Thinking about my family never gives me any peace. It's why I generally do my best to ignore the memories.
Finn swaggers into the room, a jaunty skip in his step. He freezes upon taking in the scene. Bending down, he picks up Lily. Taking a seat by Killian's side, he stretches out languidly.
"Can't believe you tried to leave me and the tiny miss out of the snuggle pile," Finn says, cooing down at Lily. "That's not even right."
Resting his head against mine, he pulls Lily to rest in the crook of his arm. A strange feeling wraps tightly around my chest as I breathe in the combined scent of the two alphas. It's almost like a drug to my system. Their pheromones comfort me in a way I've never felt before.
It's then I realize. These men are far more dangerous than Jeremy ever was.