Chapter 2 #2
But somehow, Nate’s the one who ended up back in HiLo, and now I’m the one who can’t face going back.
“You never know,” Allie says. “It was a long time ago. People change, Rory. And they grow.”
I add the peppers and a good spoonful of minced garlic to the onions, considering her words.
“If I decide to go—which is a big if, Allie—maybe I’ll talk to him.
Maybe.” Probably not, if I’m being honest. Just the thought fills my stomach with nervous butterflies.
“But I don’t think I’m going to go. There’s a lot going on in my life here in Denver. ”
She twists her lips to the side the way she does when she thinks. “I know. And honestly, I haven’t talked to him, not since high school. I just felt like you guys were so good together. You guys were my relationship goals. Still are, kind of.”
She’s a hopeless romantic. Always has been.
I, on the other hand, am much more of a realist.
I add some chicken to the pan as the screen freezes for a second just as I’m about to respond, the usual hint that another call or text is coming in on her phone.
“Oh, crap. I gotta take this call. It’s work,” Allie says. “Can I call you back?”
“No rest for event planners, huh?” I ask, wiping my hand on a towel as I reach for the iPad. “No worries. Do what you need to do. I’ll text you. Love you.”
“Bye love you!” she says in one breath, then disconnects.
Allie works for a public relations firm, which was her dream job since she read about it at age 16, planning all sorts of big events and attending parties. I don’t think she imagined being on call practically twenty-four hours a day, though.
I stir the chicken, which is browning up nicely in the pan. Allie’s words echo through my mind. People change. And they grow. But have I?
I know my parents would be thrilled if I came home for a weekend.
They’re my biggest cheerleaders. But they also like to…
ask things. Like, how my job is (poorly paid and covered in shit, mostly).
When I plan to settle down (when I meet someone who doesn’t dump me after a month or two).
And when I plan on moving back to High Lonesome (never).
I’ve told myself that I don’t belong in HiLo so often over the last decade that I’m starting to believe it.
There aren’t many employment opportunities in the small town, and while there are so many charming things I love, there are also reasons to stay away.
Nate is the biggest one, but a lot of the mean girls from high school still live up there.
I can only imagine what they’d say if I moved back now.
If nothing else, they’d sniff out the lingering feelings I have for Nate.
I scoop the cooked chicken into a tortilla and add some cheese and Frank’s Red Hot before I roll it into a burrito. The spice floods my mouth with heat as I take a bite, holding the tortilla over the plate on the kitchen counter.
I can’t go to this reunion. Because when people want to know what I’m doing with my life, who I’m dating, how my job is? I don’t have good answers. I don’t like my answers.
And the invitation said Plus one. Which means a date. If I show up alone while everyone else has a date, that’ll just feed more into the “Rory’s a failure at life” narrative.
Better to just stay in Denver and carry on with life, even if the latest boyfriend was a bust. I wonder, though, what HiLo is like now. You only get so much of a feel for what’s going on by reading the local paper.
I chew on the corner of my lip, thinking. I miss it so much. Time is supposed to heal things, right? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe I could even see Nate and not fall apart.
My phone buzzes on the counter as I take a bite. The meat is so spicy between the serrano peppers and the hot sauce that sweat beads on my brow. It’s cleansing. I wipe my hand on a paper towel and swipe the phone open while Frank’s Red Hot drips down my chin.
Dominic
Hey, Rory, I need to talk to you. Can you stop by my office when you get in tomorrow?
I run the towel over my mouth and type out a reply, the only one you can really give your boss when he asks to see you.
Sure.
This doesn’t sound all that promising. I know there are budget cuts looming. My stomach twists. What will I do if I lose my job?
This has been a completely shitty day—literally. I’m not ready to think about a high school reunion or anything else, but I need to keep my mind off of whatever Dominic wants to talk about.
It’s either that, or possibly that the spice of my dinner is affecting my brain chemistry. Those are the only plausible explanations as to why I’m scrolling through my contacts list, my thumb settling over one that I’ve never erased, even though I haven’t used it in years.
Nate Patterson.
I type out a quick text before I can change my mind.
Nate
Hey, it’s Rory Kelley. Thinking about coming up to High Lonesome for our ten-year high school reunion. Wondering if you’re planning on going.
I stare at the words on the tiny screen and chew my lip. This is a bad idea. Right? I should delete it.
But part of me needs to know what he’d say if he saw me there. If he’s thought of me over the last ten years as often as I’ve thought of him.
Allie’s words play in my head.
People change, Rory. And they grow.
So I hold my breath.
And I push Send.