Chapter 15 #2
The bell chimes as another customer walks in and heads toward the counter.
“I’ve got to get going, but just…keep an eye out for those two. I’m not sure they’ll take kindly to you being back in town and back in Nate’s life, if you know what I’m saying.”
She heads back to the counter, leaving me alone at the table and deep in thought. What does she mean by “your man”? Nate and I aren’t together. We may have made some steps toward it, but we’re not official. And we’re definitely not at a point where we have anything to be made public.
Plus, Yvonne and Kaitlyn—and anyone else, for that matter—have had ten years to try their luck with him.
But the thought makes me so queasy I have to put my latte down. Both the idea that he could go out with either Kaitlyn or Yvonne, and the idea that maybe he did.
The bells chime, and I look up to see Stacey waving at me. I wave back and wait while she gets a coffee, my brain going into overdrive mode on the topic of me and Nate.
I mean, does my body get this tingly feeling whenever he’s near me? Yes. And did we kiss last night? I mean, barely, but there was lip-to-lip contact.
And did I go to my room and masturbate to the thought of him touching me? Also yes.
But none of that means he’s my man. Just that I have some unresolved issues around my high school boyfriend.
And that I’m attracted to him. That much is obvious.
I said I’d give him another chance. I remember the pact. Of course I do.
Who could forget?
What’s more surprising is that he remembers it, and that he’s actually bringing it up. It always seemed like one of those things that we said as kids and never followed through on.
I want to give us another chance, more than anything. But at the same time, the last thing I want is to hurt Nate. And a relationship with me can only end one way.
Stacey slides into the chair across from me, pulling me back to reality. “Hey, Rory! Glad you’re here. Seeing you has brought up all these high school memories!”
We reminisce about a few disastrous projects from our days working together in school and about field hockey before I ask the questions I really need to know the answers to.
“So, I hear Yvonne Parish and Kaitlyn Crocker are still in town,” I say, treading lightly.
You never know—Stacey could have become best friends with those two snakes since high school.
Her reaction, though, makes it clear that Stacey and I are on the same page when it comes to the mean girls. “Oh God. Yeah. They terrorized us all during high school, and they’re still doing it to some of us. Their poor husbands.”
“They’re married?” This makes me feel safer somehow. If they’re off the market, then they can’t be after Nate.
Stacey shakes her head. “Divorced. Not really surprising, right? Who would want to spend their lives with girls who live to make everyone else miserable?”
Ah. Noted.
Stacey lifts her mug. “Anyway, I hear they both have decent alimony payments, so they’re continuing to torture the poor schmucks who married them in the first place.
Kaitlyn is a hairdresser. She has a little salon in her house.
And Yvonne is in a couple of those MLM things, trying to get all her friends to buy her essential oils and weight-loss shakes. ”
I giggle. Maybe my job at the shelter wasn’t what I dreamed of, but at least I didn’t get hoodwinked by any pyramid schemes.
“I hear they’ve had a thing for Nate.”
Stacey throws back her head and laughs. “Oh, they both do. Have forever. I think even when we were in middle school. He’s never looked twice at either of them.”
Relief washes over me at that tidbit of information, but it also sparks more questions.
I chew on my lip. “So, has Nate…dated anyone since high school? Just out of curiosity.”
Pretty sure Stacey sees right through me, if the tiny smile on her face is any indication.
“He’s dated here and there. Nothing has ever really stuck more than a few weeks, as far as I know.
There was one girl he dated right after he moved back, a tourist who came out for the winter, and I don’t think it ended well.
He’s never been in love, as far as I can tell or that anyone knows.
” She tilts her head as she studies me. “Not since you.”
My cheeks heat.
“What about you? Have you been in love since Nate?” she asks, casually taking a sip of her coffee like she didn’t just ask the one question I don’t know how to answer.
“I…” I bring my latte to my lips while I gather my thoughts. “I’ve dated, but I don’t know that I’ve been in love with anyone. I’ve never had a relationship longer than…two months, I think?”
It sounds pathetic when I say it out loud.
I shrug. “Maybe there’s something wrong with me. Maybe I’m just a bitch in relationships.”
Stacey raises her eyebrows. “Maybe no one compares to Nate.”
We use up most of Stacey’s break chatting about our former classmates—who married who, who’s in town, and what they’re up to. By the time she has to go back to her classroom, I’ve heard enough stories to keep me entertained for days, but she swears that’s only the beginning.
“Remind me to tell you about Yvonne’s wedding reception.
It was classic.” She gives me a wink as she stands.
“She invited everyone in town because of course she had to have the biggest wedding ever thrown around here, completely forgetting how mean she’d been to so many of us.
Seriously, you’ll pee yourself laughing. ”
I can only imagine. I wave as she heads out the door, and then I open up my laptop.
Let’s see. Maybe if I widen the search a little beyond Denver. I could commute down to the Springs or up to Boulder. Or if there’s something in the foothills, I could move. I’ve always thought it would be fun to live in Morrison and go to Red Rocks all the time.
I type in Animal Jobs and hit Search.
Two results pop up, neither of which would be an option for me—one as a nighttime janitor at the aquarium and one working in a concession stand at the zoo. Not exactly what I was thinking when I searched Animal Jobs. I delete that and type Jobs working with animals.
“Rory?”
The cheerful voice makes me look up from my computer, but I already know who it is even before I see the ash-blonde hair pulled into a ponytail or the tanned face. The scent of hay is as familiar as the smell of my mom’s perfume.
“Mandy!” I jump out of my chair to wrap my arms around her. “It’s so good to see you!”
She squeezes me back. “It’s good to see you too! Marge told me you were in town. I’ve missed you, kiddo.”
“Same.”
Mandy was there for me all through high school. Through bad grades, fights with my brother, and every part of my relationship with Nate. She knew it all, even things I was too scared to share with my mother.
Like when Nate and I were seventeen and decided we were ready to go all the way. Mandy was the one who gave me the no-nonsense talk about sex, hitting all the points my mother was too embarrassed to share. Like, what if you fart while you’re having sex?
“You laugh it off and keep going. Sex is weird and funny, and it’s okay. And consider this: if you don’t trust a guy enough to fart in front of him, maybe you shouldn’t be sleeping with him.”
Still one of the best pieces of relationship advice I’ve ever gotten.
“I heard you’re here for a few weeks. You going to come by the barn?” Mandy asks.
“Of course! I couldn’t come up to town without seeing you. And maybe brushing some horses.”
“You should hire her,” Marge calls from her spot behind the counter, where she’s making an espresso.
Mandy raises her eyebrows as she studies me. “You need work?”
She phrases it as a question, but it’s clear from her tone of voice that she already knows the answer. Mandy has an uncanny sense for what people need.
I shrug. “I got let go from my job at the shelter. If you need help, I don’t mind pitching in for a bit. I’m only here for two weeks, though.”
She pulls me back into her arms in an embrace. “Rory, you’re a lifesaver. Kelsey has been working with me for a few years—you remember her, right? A few years older than you?—but she left a couple months ago. I’ll take any help I can get.”
This sounds like a great idea for the next couple of weeks. Hang out with horses and make some extra money? Not to mention getting to spend time with Mandy.
“When do you need me?” I reach back and shut the top of my laptop.
“Seriously, as soon as you can start. Come to the barn tomorrow?”
I nod, and Mandy turns, not giving me a chance to think twice.
That was always her style, or maybe it was just her style when talking to me to prevent the normal overthinking.
It reminds me of the first time she told me to canter on a horse.
She asked me if I wanted to try, then before I could get nervous about the faster gait, she had me kicking the horse into a canter and taking off.
Mandy tosses me a wave over her shoulder as she exits the cafe, and I prop my chin on my hand and gaze out the window, thoughts of the barn playing through my head like old movie scenes. It was always the place where I felt the most like myself.
But so was this town. I frown to myself. I’ve been away for so long, and while so much is the same, there’s still so much that’s changed.
Maybe the barn will be just what I need, a chance to find myself and remember just who I wanted to be all those years ago. But in the back of my mind, there’s a tiny spark of doubt. That maybe who I am isn’t going to be found at the barn, or in High Lonesome at all.
That maybe a part of me is gone forever.