Chapter 26 #2
But Ellie is too busy to notice Santa. She’s already sitting at the face-painting station.
A woman, poised with brush in hand, adds final dabs to a very realistic-looking Rudolph, complete with shiny red nose.
The other child, with a little bald head beneath the reindeer antler headband, is laughing with Ellie.
“Come with me,” Teddy says, leading me over to the station.
“Isn’t the face painting just for the kids?” I grin at him. “Or maybe you fancy being a Grinch?”
“I’m no Grinch,” he says. “I told you I like Christmas. No, I want you to meet someone.”
When the woman now transforming Ellie into a golden butterfly, turns her face to us, I know who it is. Her hair and face shape are a feminine version of Teddy’s, but the eyes are sharp green like Briar’s, though with a softer expression. I try not to stare at the striking likeness.
“Rachel, I’d like you to meet Ellie’s mum, my sister Rowan. And roped in as a parent helper tonight.” Her eyes widen slightly. “Rowan, this is my girlfriend, Rachel.” Now she’s staring, mouth dropped open.
“But you can also call her Trouble,” Ellie pipes up.
“I think I’ll call her Rachel.” When she speaks, she’s got the same faint trace of a West Country accent as her siblings. Rowan puts down her brush and extends a paint-smeared hand to me. “Well, this is a first. We usually read about Teddy’s girlfriends on Instagram.”
“Oh, you’ll be seeing her there too, believe me.” Teddy tosses me a wink. “In fact, how about we do that now? Number two on the list, if I recall?”
He pulls Ellie into a hug between us and snaps a photo.
He shows me before posting it—him and me with heads brushing, the grinning little girl in the centre.
It’s so sweet, it tugs at my heart. Is this what our future might look like?
With Pierre, I’d never been sure about kids—he always seemed to dislike them anyway—but with someone like Teddy, my mind feels open to the idea, warming to it even.
When he turns the phone back to me, I see the caption:
Christmas magic with the two most important people in my world. Little Ellie picked the perfect place for our date.
#grateful #mygirls #girlfriend
He’s really done it. It’s what I asked for, but now I’m unsure. Even though he didn’t tag me, I suspect my world is about to go crazy. I don’t have time to consider the consequences as Ellie tugs at my hand.
“Please, Rachel, come help me and my friend Paige decorate some biscuits.”
“Great idea,” I say, casting a glance at Teddy. “Best we bring Uncle Dory. Did you know he’s really good at icing?”
He laughs at my little inside joke, and we follow Ellie, who’s already claimed a chair by her friend.
I try to focus on the children, but my gaze keeps drifting back to Teddy. The image of icing sugar dusting those cheekbones won’t leave me alone, mingling with the memory of his mouth on mine. I know exactly how those lips taste, and I want more.
We’re adding the final touches to the biscuits when a pretty blonde woman approaches Teddy from behind. She loops her arms over his shoulders and presses her lips to his cheek. “Glad you could make it.”
My stomach lurches. The casual intimacy of the gesture lands like a blow to the sternum.
Even while I tell myself it means nothing, jealousy rises.
Is this what life with him would look like?
A jolt of insecurity every time a woman drifts into his orbit?
Not just the new flirts circling, convinced they could steal him, but the ghosts already stamped on his past. It isn’t infidelity I’m bracing for.
I trust Teddy not to repeat his father’s mistakes.
What gnaws at me are the women who were there before me; what they were to him; what feelings might still linger.
More than friendly feelings. Embers that might flare if I’m careless; a ready-made replacement if he ever edited me out.
I shove my possessiveness aside. I’ve no right to claim him yet.
I can’t police his history; I can control how I handle it.
“Wouldn’t have missed my favourite Christmas party,” Teddy replies easily.
“Hi Ellie,” the woman says, and Ellie lifts her attention away from the extra sweets she’s trying to squeeze onto an already overloaded biscuit.
“Aunty Tam!” She leaps up and wraps her arms around the woman’s thighs. The woman ruffles her hair indulgently. “You’ve grown again, pumpkin.” She smiles over at me. “And who’s this you’ve brought with you tonight?”
“Uncle Dory’s girlfriend.”
“Rachel,” I say, stretching out my hand to hers.
“Girlfriend, eh?” she says, shaking my hand with a firm grip. “Well, you’ve got yourself a good one here. We couldn’t do this without Teddy. I’m Tamara.”
“Head of Memories That Matter and all-round miracle worker,” Teddy adds.
“It takes money to make miracles,” she says. “People like you help make me look good.”
“Tam, do you know where they put the Christmas crackers?” a frowning woman in blue scrubs interrupts.
“Gotta go,” Tamara says. “See you two on stage later,” she grins before hurrying away.
“Not Christmas karaoke,” I groan, although after the song challenge, I really wouldn’t mind another duet with Teddy.
“You’ll see.” Teddy’s enigmatic grin should have me worried, but I brush it off as Ellie tugs at my cuff, excited by the plates of food arriving on a table.
After the kids have stuffed themselves and Santa has distributed gifts, some of the nurses herd the sugar-high rabble into one end of the playroom, while other staff carry out the food tables strewn with remains.
A care assistant beckons Teddy over, and he returns wearing a gold plastic crown and carrying a set of angel wings.
“Here, put these on,” he says, holding them out to me. “Guessed you weren’t right for the Virgin Mary, but you make a pretty good angel.”
“Cheeky bugger,” I say, slipping my arms through the elastic. “Why exactly am I wearing these?” I reach to straighten my lopsided wings.
“It wouldn’t be Christmas without a nativity play,” he says. “There’s not enough kids well enough to take all the parts, so they need a few adults to fill in.” He shoves a piece of paper at me. “You’ve only got one line. Think you can handle that?”
The nativity play unfolds with chaotic charm.
Ellie’s crown slips lopsidedly over her eyes as she solemnly bows with her gift of frankincense, while baby Jesus lurches precariously in Paige’s lap.
When the shepherds—a mixture of parents and nurses—fall to their knees dramatically as I deliver my line, the children erupt in giggles, and I find it impossible to look the part of a serene Christmas angel.
It may only be a simple retelling, imperfect, unrehearsed, but bit by bit we weave a little scene of Christmas magic for our audience: a beaming Doctor Alex, fresh from a quick change out of his Santa suit; mums (and a couple of dads) dabbing at their eyes with tissues while their children, illness forgotten, outshine the backdrop of starry Christmas lights; nurses and a play specialist bunched at the back; and a few children too poorly to join watching with small smiles and bright eyes.
Voices crack during the final song, as everyone sings ‘Silent Night’.
I find my hand seeking the comfort of Teddy’s, and a warm peace settles in my chest.
After everyone pitches in to do a final cleanup of the playroom, we make our way out of the hospital.
Ellie skips along beside Rowan, with Teddy and me following hand in hand.
Not only have I met more of his family—he’s partly dealt with number five on the ‘prove it’ list tonight as well—Teddy’s scooped me up into their world, and it feels like being part of a group hug.
There’s a warmth to this family, from Rowan’s playful teasing, and Ellie’s total adoration of her uncle; even Briar’s ferocious protectiveness of him.
When it’s time for goodbyes, it wraps around me, too.
Ellie releases Teddy from her arms only to fling herself at me.
“Goodnight, Aunty Trouble.” To be claimed by this small girl feels precious and strangely permanent. As Rowan gently prises her off me, I’m already looking forward to the next time.
Teddy pulls a beanie from his coat pocket and tugs it down over those conspicuous curls. I pull up the hood of my coat as we step out onto the pavement to wait for the car.
A silver Golf eases out of the multi-storey car park and pulls up in front of us. The window glides down, and I see Tamara behind the wheel.
“Thanks for everything, Teddy.”
“Anything you need, Tam. Any time.” He smiles at her.
“I’ll hold you to that.” With a final wave, she pulls away.
“I don’t know how she does it.” Teddy’s voice is quiet as we watch the taillights disappear into the night. “Her little boy was one of Ell’s friends.” Something breaks in his voice. “He didn’t make it. Yet she still shows up for everyone else.”
“Oh, god. That’s terrible.” I’m swamped with sadness, threaded with admiration for this woman’s strength, forged by unimaginable loss.
How she can stand alongside all those other families fighting a battle her family lost is beyond my comprehension.
It has to be a courage tempered in fire that makes people like Tamara step up to help others.
People like Teddy and Rowan too. From Tamara’s remarks.
I suspect Teddy’s doing more than he lets on.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Ask whatever you want, counsellor.”
“Are you funding this, Teddy? The charity.”
He hesitates a beat. “Some,” he admits. “Not all of it.”
“But most of it?”
A small nod.
Something sweet and fluttery unfurls in my chest. All this time, I thought we were competing for prize money that would make a real difference. But Teddy—he’s been quietly supporting these families all along, letting me believe we needed to win because he knew how much it meant to me.
“We didn’t need to win the competition, did we?”
“No,” he says. “But you wanted it so much. Don’t get me wrong. I wanted it too, but—”
I place my finger on his lips. “It’s okay. I get it. And thank you for indulging my competitiveness when you didn’t have to.” I glance back at the hospital doors, thinking over the evening. “Can I ask you something else?”
He huffs a laugh, rolling his eyes. “So many questions. Comes with dating a lawyer, I suppose. Go on.”
“Why did you bring me here tonight?” I keep my voice low. “Really.”
He looks past me to the glow of the foyer, then back, thumb brushing over my knuckles.
“To show you how much I want you in my life. To stay. There’s no way in hell I’d have let you meet Ellie if I wasn’t serious.
You’re the first woman I’ve ever brought near her.
No one else has ever mattered enough. Not like you matter. ”
The car pulls up, and we slip into the back seat. Gavin, the driver, catches my eye in the mirror; I nod. He already knows the way to my house in Notting Hill.
“Take the long way home, please, Gav.” Teddy settles back against the leather seat. “Round Oxford and Bond Street, yeah? Might be nice to see the Christmas lights.”
I snuggle into Teddy, enjoying the perfect end to the night. Cocooned in the dark, he leans close, his breath warm, a brush of lips against my ear.
“Can I ask you something?” His voice is barely a whisper.
I nod. “Sure.”
“Do you kiss on the first date?”
I answer without words, my mouth finding his. It’s only been two days since I last kissed Teddy, but god how I’ve missed this.