Chapter 17
Julia
“Idon’t know why I’m nervous,” I said, smoothing my hand over my perfectly smooth skirt for the third time in a minute.
We were going out tonight with Chris’s besties, an official unveiling of our relationship. I’d met April before at that ill-fated dinner date that my mother engineered on my last birthday, but so far I hadn’t met any of Chris’s other non-work friends.
This seemed like an important event. I wanted them to like me, which was weird because I never worried about people liking me.
“They’re going to love you,” Chris said, coming over to loop her arms over my shoulders.
“I know they’re important to you and I also know that sometimes I’m a little too much for some people.”
“Too much for who?” she asked.
“I think it’s whom,” I said inanely.
She rolled her eyes. “You’re not too much. My friends have heard a lot of good things about you. Well, recently…”
“Wait, you talked to them about me before we were… dating?”
“I’m sure I mentioned your name once or twice,” she admitted, not meeting my eyes.
Groaning, I dropped my forehead to her shoulder. “Oh God.”
Chris gave my ass a squeeze and stepped back. “Come on. We can’t be late or they’ll think we were having sex and that’s all we’ll hear about all night.”
April and Marlee were already in a booth when we got to the pub, a pitcher of beer and four glasses at the center of the table.
“Hope you like beer, Julia,” April said brightly.
I did, but I had the feeling that it was a test of some kind. Like I’d lose points if I said I wanted to order a wine spritzer instead.
“Beer is great,” I said, reaching out my hand. “Nice to see you again April. And let me apologize again about my mother that time you got dragged to dinner.”
She shook my hand and made a dismissive gesture with her other hand. “Oh gosh, don’t worry about it. Mine is just as bad.”
“Julia, this is my other bestie, Marlee. Marlee, this is Julia.”
Marlee and I shook hands, then Chris and I slid into the booth while April poured us beers. Within a few seconds the server came by with a basket of fries.
“You ready to order?” she asked.
“I think Julia might need to look at the menu,” Chris said. “Do you mind coming back in a few minutes?”
“No problem, hun.”
“Have you memorized the menu then?” I asked, noticing that no one had even opened theirs.
Chris nodded. “We’ve been coming here at least once a month for years.”
I liked the fact that the friends had a longstanding routine. I had friends, some of them good friends, but no one I would call a bestie. Certainly no one that I had a regular place with.
“What do you recommend?”
All three of them spoke in unison. “The bacon smashburger.”
“Okay then,” I laughed. “That’s what I’ll get.”
Even though dinner started off the tiniest bit awkward, overall it went well.
There were a few awkward moments when one of the friends would reference some shared memory or a person they all knew, and they’d have to explain it to me, but no one made it weird.
April and Marlee asked me questions about myself and my job at the shelter.
“I’ve been thinking about applying for a job at your non-profit,” April confided. “A recruiter contacted me a couple of times on Linked In about an accounting supervisor position you have open.”
“You do know that non-profit pay is terrible, right?” I asked, remembering my mother saying that April worked a prestigious firm. “I imagine you make a lot more than we’re going to pay.”
“Yeah, I do, but I don’t like my job. It pays well but the whole place is an old boys’ club,” April explained.
“I’d like to do something with my skills to help people, not just to put more money in rich people’s pockets.
My only hesitation is that with your CFO position open, I won’t get to interview with my potential boss ahead of time. ”
“Maybe that’s for the best,” Marlee said. “You’ll already be there so whoever that new person is, they’ll be stuck with you.”
“Ha ha.”
“Tell me your favorite Chris story,” I asked after we’d finished our dinners.
We were working on our second pitcher of beer and while none of us was drunk, we were all definitely feeling relaxed.
Marlee and April shared a glance, their lips rolling in like they were trying to keep from laughing.
“No,” Chris said.
“What?” April’s face was the picture of innocence.
“I know what you’re thinking, and don’t. I want to keep having sex, thank you very much.”
“Well now I really want to hear this,” I said, bumping my shoulder against Chris’s. “Spill.”
“It was our junior year of college,” Marlee started. “It was the end of the year, when everyone’s having those big blow out parties as soon as their finals are over.”
“Oh I remember.”
Of course I hadn’t been much of a partier myself -- my friend group was small and mostly eager social justice warriors who didn’t do a lot of hardcore partying – but I’d seen others having those parties. They were hard to miss.
“Chris had a huge crush on this little blonde sorority girl…”
“You had a crush on a sorority girl?” I asked in surprise. “That does not seem like you.”
The few times over the years that I’d seen Chris with a girlfriend they were on the masc side of the scale.
“It isn’t. Wasn’t,” she amended. “But there was something about her that appealed to me and I thought I was getting a vibe.”
“Anyway, Chris insisted we go to this party at the sorority house, and she’s following Candy around like a little puppy.”
“Wait.” I held up a hand. “Her name was Candy?”
Marlee rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I know. So we get to the party, and Candy is wearing this tight little tube dress that’s so short and tight it becomes very obvious very quickly that she’s not wearing panties.”
“Total slut,” April adds.
“And she’s super drunk and when she sees Chris she starts hanging on her, rubbing against her, pressing her surgically enhanced breasts against her shoulder, that kind of thing. Then the next thing we know, they’re making out like it’s their last night on Earth.”
Marlee stops as giggles overtake her, so April continues the story.
“Candy starts to feel her up, and just when the music stops to change songs she reaches between Chris’s legs and… let’s just say she didn’t find what she was expecting.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, looking between the friends.
“She yells out, Oh my God, where’s your dick? What happened to your dick?” Marlee screeches. “The entire party stops dead to look at poor Chris, who’s red as a fucking beet.”
“Wait, she thought you were a guy?” I asked in confusion.
“I thought she knew who I was and that I was female,” Chris said.
“We were in a bunch of classes together and she’d always been sweet and flirty with me, so I assumed she was bi or something.
I was in a butch period then, so my hair was super short, and I pretty much only dressed in menswear, but even so, I don’t think I could pass for a guy. I think she just wasn’t that bright.”
I couldn’t help it, I started laughing, and April and Marlee joined in.
“So what did you do?” I asked.
“We rescued her,” April said. “And then we took Chris home and gave her shots until she forgot all about Candy.”
“Hard to forget her when you tell this story every chance you get,” Chris said wryly.
I put my head on Chris’s shoulder and looked up at her, batting my eyelashes. “Well I for one am glad you don’t have a dick.”