Chapter 13 – Nicholas
NICHOLAS
Iwas still seeing red after watching Jenna with her ex-boyfriend, and she must’ve felt the anger rolling off me, because she hadn’t spoken for miles.
You’re not his anymore. You’re mine…
“I can’t wait until we get to your mom’s place,” Jenna finally spoke when we were halfway there. “I hope she’s being a bit more normal and not as out of touch as you for the holiday season.”
“I can’t believe you think I’m out of touch, sweetheart.”
“Oh. Sweetheart.” She tossed the word back at me. “You’re joking, right?”
“I think you’re a bit out of touch,” Mr. Reaves chimed in from the backseat. “I mean, your driver has a driver, and you tipped the guy who pumped gas a hundred dollars. That’s a bit out of touch.”
“Thank you so much, Mr. Reaves.”
“You’re welcome. That’s what I’m here for, right?”
I held back my umpteenth eye roll. This man had no idea how to read the room.
“So, Mrs. Saint-to-be,” he said. “While he’s driving, would you mind telling me your top five favorite things about your husband? Things that I can’t possibly glean from any of his interviews or magazines?”
“He makes up most of the stuff in his interviews anyway,” she said. “It’s all prepackaged for his image.”
I shot her a glare, and she shot one right back.
“Is that true, Mr. Saint?”
“You’re supposed to be asking my wife questions at this moment.” I switched lanes. “I’ll correct any issues if there are any.”
“Fair enough.” He cleared his throat. “So, Mrs. Saint—five things you love about him?”
“He knows all of his employees by name,” she said. “And I find it endearing that he greets everyone by name whenever he sees them in the hallway.”
“That’s going to have to count as just one…”
“Two,” she said. “He swears up and down that his favorite food is fettuccine Alfredo because that’s his chef’s favorite thing to cook, but it’s actually not. It’s a basic cheeseburger, but he won’t admit it because he doesn’t want to hurt his chef’s feelings.”
I looked over at her, stunned that she knew. That she noticed…
“For three, he pretends like he doesn’t remember my birthday, but it’s always marked as a vacation on every work schedule, and he makes sure my team is off that weekend, too.”
I don’t do that for anyone else on my staff except you…
“Four is—” She hesitated for a second as we approached a stoplight, and her eyes briefly met mine. “I like the way that he sometimes handles things that are bothering me without even mentioning that he was definitely behind them.”
“And five?”
“He has a thing for decorating our office for the holidays,” she said. “It’s nice.”
“Everyone knows that, Mrs. Saint. Tourists and strangers slip into the lobby to take pictures all the time.”
“Everyone knows about Christmas,” she said. “He decorates my office for every holiday, because he knows my mom used to do that when she was alive, so…”
“Oh, I see.” He nodded. “Well, then. That’s very beautiful, and that’s it for now.”
Thank you…
Thirty minutes later
I pulled into my mother’s long driveway, shocked that not a single piece of holiday décor was on display.
Then again, my father was the one who usually went out of his way to do it, and the decorator she hired in the past never quite matched anything close to what he used to do.
Opening Jenna’s door, I helped her out of the car and pressed my palm against the small of her back.
I led her up the patio steps with Mr. Reaves close behind.
Then I let out a breath and rang the doorbell.
“Who the hell is that?” a deep voice yelled.
“Someone is at our door!” another one called.
Did she sell this house and move without telling me?
Before I could pull out my phone and call her, the door swung open, and she answered in nothing but a bra and shorts so short they looked like panties.
Jesus… “We can wait until you’re fully dressed if we caught you fresh out of the shower.”
“You think this is what I wear out of the shower?” She laughed, pulling me in close for a hug. “These are my freedom clothes.”
“Then we’ll wait for you to put on the prisoner version…” I hugged her back before pulling away.
“Who do we have here?” She looked at Jenna. “She’s beautiful, son!”
“This is Jenna, my fiancée.”
“I know a Jenna.” She tapped her lip. “I talk to a Jenna on your behalf all the time. Is this Jenna that Jenna? Like your assistant?”
“The very same.” Jenna smiled and extended her hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Ms. Saint.”
“In person, you mean.” She shook her hand, winking. “I talk to you far more than I talk to my own son. You know that.”
“I would like an introduction as well.” Mr. Reaves weaved his way through us, extending his hand. “I’m their third wheel for this trip. I’m from a firm.”
“For the inheritance.” My mother read him like a book. “Right?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Well, we can’t all be perfect.” She gave him a handshake and ushered us inside. “Now, don’t be alarmed. I’m in the middle of remodeling.”
What in the actual …
I stopped at the Twilight Zone bullshit in front of me.
There was no furniture. Not a single appliance. No rugs or portraits hanging on the walls.
Just sand. All over the floor, stretching from room to room.
“Please take off your shoes,” she said. “I don’t want to get my space messy.”
“Are you still talking to that psychiatrist I hired for you?” I asked. “Does he know about this shit?”
“Look who’s home!” She rushed off before giving me an answer, rushing right into the arms of a man who had the hairy chest of a grizzly bear.
His shorts are even shorter than hers…
“Wow, Nicholas Saint.” He waved at me. “A real-life multimillionaire in the flesh. Amazing.”
“I’ll say.” Another man—this one with the slicked, oiled chest of a mannequin—walked into the room and kissed her on the lips. “We’ve been wanting to meet you for a while.”
What in the actual fuck is this?
I stood guard by the door, debating whether Jenna and I should make a run for it and leave Mr. Reaves here.
He was smiling a bit too much for my liking.
“Well?” My mom jumped down from the bear and picked up a tray of food from… somewhere. “Are you going to join us for some holiday cheer?”
“Sure.” Jenna nodded and made her way over, with Mr. Reaves following.
I held back a sigh and took off my shoes.
Joining them around the food—multiple pies, casseroles, and some type of meat I definitely wasn’t touching—I allowed one of the guys to give me a towel to sit on.
I took out my phone to check my email, but they suddenly started saying, “Oh nooo, oh nooo,” in unison.
“What the hell is going on with you all?” I asked.
“No phones are allowed in here.” My mom shook her head. “The internet is evil, and so are most of the ingredients that make up our cell phones.”
“The ingredients?”
“Yeah, man,” Grizzly Man said. “All that plastic, metal, and the cobalt from the mines. It gets into your mind, your system, and before you know it, you’re a walking robot.”
“Yeah, I believe I read that somewhere.” Mr. Reaves nodded. “You are what you use.”
“Exactlyyyy,” Grizzly Man agreed.
“Material possessions are for the weak.” My mom lit a candle. “Humans lived for years without the modern-day conveniences we have now, and I’m so grateful to have found this new way of living.”
“Mom, I hate to break it to you, but this new way of living is a cult.”
“Shhhh!” She shook her head. “The c-word isn’t allowed here.”
I’m definitely calling your psychiatrist…
“The only c-word that is allowed here is celestial,” she said, pointing to the men. “These are your celestial dads.”
No, the hell they’re not…
“They came to me just when I needed companionship and taught me about all the ways my soul and body can be pleasured beyond the realm of grief.”
“I don’t want to hear about your sex life, Mother.”
“This isn’t about sex. It’s about so much more than that…” She waved her hand, confirming that this was definitely a cult. “It’s about being, and one day, whenever you realize that life is more than money and business, you’ll see it, too.”
Jenna smiled politely as Celestial Dad #2 widened his legs, looking like he was about to jack off right in front of us; thankfully, it was just a wedgie.
“Jenna brought some of her family’s homemade wine to share.” I just remembered she’d tucked it into her purse before we left her parents’ place. “Do you mind if I get that for us to enjoy?”
“Wine would be perfect,” the three of them spoke together, and I grabbed Jenna’s hand, pulling her off the sand and back to the front door with me.
“It’s, uh—it’s on the right side of my purse,” she said when we were alone.
“Noted.” I grabbed it and whispered, “Do you mind if we skip dinner and get the fuck out of here?”
“That’s up to you,” she said. “It’s your family.”
“Be honest,” I said. “On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the highest, how badly do you want to leave?”
“Twenty.”
“I thought so.”
“Fake a coughing spell in fifteen minutes,” I said. “One of the good ones, not the half-ass one you do at work to get away from me.”
She smiled. “Okay.”
“Have you two ever realized how in sync your bodies are?” Celestial Dad #1 asked from the doorway. “I bet you two have out-of-this-world sex, huh?”
“Make it five minutes,” Nicholas whispered harshly. “Please…”