Chapter 24
Wyatt
Taylor was snoring softly, still enshrouded by the deepest sleep.
She’d been sleeping well, her pain pretty much a memory at this point in her recovery.
Since sharing the bed, I was getting better sleep too.
But the conversations from that virtual brunch had me restless and out of bed before the sun that morning.
Michael Keaton moved, placing the bulk of his weight over my feet.
He spared me a comforting glance, one that told me he sensed the spike in my anxiety, and that he had my back.
I smiled at him and blinked slowly. I knew it was a signal that cats used to exchange ‘I love yous’, but I used it on him, anyway.
Michael Keaton snorted faintly and snuggled down in his new position.
I took it as an acceptance of my silent declaration, and a gesture that showed he returned the sentiment.
I turned back to my laptop and the blinking cursor in front of me, thinking not of the new chapter I had to finish, but rather of how good I’d become at making up realities that served my internal narrative.
Like my dog telling me exactly what I needed to hear, even though he couldn’t talk, and most likely couldn’t understand the scope of what I needed.
Like Taylor caring about me enough to bring me into her life despite the challenges that would present for her personally, and our relationship.
Our relationship. Was that another made-up thing to fit my narrative? Because we’d only known each other for a few weeks. What she knew about me barely scratched the surface.
And there it was… My stomach lurched and the screen in front of me blurred a little.
If Taylor knew that she was signing up for more than mild anxiety, would she still be as stirred up to whisk me off to New York? However deep our feelings for each other went, it was too soon for me to lay it all on her.
And it didn’t take a rocket scientist to see how much she missed her friends. I could hear it in her voice when she spoke to them. Heck, when she spoke of them. Going home got her excited, and taking me with her was part of that.
Michael Keaton scooted up, squeezing between my body and the back of the couch until he reached my face. Careful not to knock over my laptop, he licked my face repeatedly.
“I’m okay, boy. Thank you,” I whispered, giving him a rub.
One thing was certain: Michael Keaton would have his work cut out for him in the city.
“You’re up early.” Taylor’s sleepy voice reached me and I looked over to find her grinning at me from bed.
The sheet had slipped, revealing her naked torso, and even in the gloomy morning light I could make out the feverish marks I’d left on her chest and along her neck.
Bright pink blemishes that told the truth about just how much I wanted her.
Enough to want to climb into her skin so I could be as close to her as possible.
Enough to push my PTSD aside and fly off to New York with her.
“Good morning, beautiful.” I set my laptop aside and padded over to the bed.
Taylor scooched over and I snuggled up, pulling her into my arms as I buried my face in her neck.
Hiding, but making it look like something else.
Her hand came around to tenderly stroke my back, and her steady breathing worked like magic to calm me down and bring me into the moment. Right there with her, and nowhere else.
“Why don’t we take Michael Keaton out for a walk?” she asked softly. It wasn’t the question on her mind, I could hear it, but she was making an attempt at building up to it.
I didn’t tell her that I wasn’t in the mood for the cold, for feeling like my tears were frozen before they had a chance to form in my eye.
Or that I’d much rather lie curled up in bed with her all day, before I had to lose her to the gaping maw of the big city.
The same one that was bound to swallow me whole, or rip me apart with its infected claws.
We dressed in silence, and Michael Keaton picked up on the tension, foregoing his usual manic anticipation of getting outside. He waited patiently at the door, his tail wagging only the acceptable amount.
The snow crunched beneath our feet as Taylor and I strolled through the winter wonderland, Michael Keaton bounding ahead of us.
His enthusiasm was fully unleashed now that he was finally out of the cabin.
His furry form was a flash of unbridled excitement against the white backdrop, and the surge of affection that came over me almost dulled my anxiety completely.
He really was a special kind of magic.
“You don’t have to say it.” Taylor spoke, keeping her eyes on my hyperactive Lab because she knew better than to stare me down with a hard truth. “I can tell you’re anxious about coming back with me.”
Simmering just below the breathtaking wintry beauty and Michael Keaton’s antics, the gnawing sense of unease taking hold of me wasn’t as invisible as I thought.
“I don’t want to be a wet blanket on your plans to get back home,” I murmured, focusing on my feet shuffling through the snow. “I haven’t been off this mountain in so long it’s actually exciting to think about being in the city again.”
I wished the tremor in my voice knew how important it was that she believed me.
As if she could read my mind, Taylor broke the silence. “Wyatt, I don’t want to force you into something you don’t want to do. If you’re not comfortable going back to the city, I totally understand.”
I took a deep breath, my heart heavy with the desire to just tell her the truth and get it over with. “It’s what I want, seriously. I just… I’m afraid that I’ll get in the way, that I’ll be a burden to you.”
Taylor stopped in her tracks, her blue eyes searching mine. “I mean it when I say I’m here for you. No matter what. You’ll never be a burden. Not you, or your anxiety.”
I smiled softly and was about to respond when a streak of brown zipped by us, followed by another. The only thing worse than a rabbit when Michael Keaton was around was two rabbits. He saw his chance and seized it, sprinting after the pair.
I sensed it coming while he was still a few yards out, but couldn’t find the words to warn Taylor in time.
My bulky, clumsy boy rammed into us, throwing both Taylor and me off our feet, running on without looking back.
His eyes were set on the zigzagging rabbits, all of them kicking up snow as they bolted about.
Our laughter echoed through the snow-covered landscape, all anxieties momentarily forgotten.
And even with that constant undertow of gloom, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so light.
Tangled up in the snow with Taylor, we used each other as support beams while we struggled back to our feet, calling after Michael Keaton, who was nothing more than a golden blur in the distance.
As I dusted the snow from my clothes Taylor took my hand, and our eyes locked on each other. There was such intensity in hers, a depth of feeling that left me breathless.
“Why?” I asked, the guard lifted from the swirling thoughts ricocheting through my brain. “Why do you care so much? Why would you want to put up with all my issues when you could have someone who… someone who isn’t… broken?”
She chuckled softly, picking snow from her hair before fixing me with another unmoving look.
“Show me someone unbroken, and I’ll show you what horseshit looks like when it’s dressed up as a human.”
“But-”
“No, Wyatt.” Taylor cut me off. She seemed to be losing patience with me, but her tone remained compassionate.
“I can’t explain it, but from the moment I met you something shifted inside me.
I’ve been through enough in life to understand that no one is without their ‘issues’.
” She made air quotes around the word. “We all carry our scars in one way or another. But with you, it’s different. ”
She stopped us walking and took my hands in hers, searching my eyes deeply. I’d never felt as held and safe before.
“You’re not broken, Wyatt. You’re resilient.
You’re beautiful. And I know this is still new, and we’ve only just started, but I see you, all of you.
I see the strength you’ve built from your past, and I admire it.
I want to take care of you. I want you in my life, and I want to be a part of yours.
Of this.” She motioned to the mountains, the snow, the crazy dog chase happening in the background.
The sincerity in her voice was so heartfelt, I believed her.
“Are- Are you sure?” I wanted her to be sure so badly. I felt like I could be sick right there.
Taylor smiled softly and placed a delicate kiss on the corner of my lips. “I’m sure I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I’m sure that over the span of these few weeks, I’ve fallen madly in love with you. I love you, Wyatt.”
It was a moment that seemed to suspend in time, the world falling away as Taylor’s eyes filled with emotion that mirrored my own.
Our hearts had found their way to one another, and the love that had been quietly growing between us was now undeniable.
In the vast landscape, beneath the expanse of the winter sky, we both became aware of our connection and how it was one that could weather any storm.
My heart swelled with love for her, and I wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her closer. And, still keeping her gaze locked with mine, I blinked slowly.