Chapter 5
ETHAN
Kyle showed up at nine on the dot with two coffees and a box of donuts. It was kind of amusing considering we were working on a coffee shop, but also kinda perfect. He was clearly trying to butter me up before sharing a few pointed opinions. I didn’t mind.
I’d liked him well enough when I was a student, but I’d never thought of him outside the classroom or looked at him as a person.
Weird how we compartmentalized teachers that way.
But now that he was here, in my space, all these years later, he wasn’t my teacher.
He was a friend? Maybe not that, but it wasn’t like the old days.
"If you don’t mind a suggestion..."
“I’d love one.” Or a thousand. Now that I’d started this, I needed to do it right.
He took a drink of his coffee and pointed at the east wall. "The way the shelving is now, you're blocking the natural light from the front windows. We could flip the layout and the whole room would open up."
I looked at the wall and then the windows and realized he was right. The way the light moved through the space in the afternoon would be ideal for people working or reading. I finished the donut I was nibbling on and nodded. “Yeah, we could do that.”
We worked through the morning with the music playing. Kyle focused on the shelving, and I finished painting the walls. At least, most of the walls. I left the trim work for him. That seemed to make him happy, so it made me happy too.
As much as I appreciated the company and the help, I also found it slightly maddening because he was bringing up feelings that had been hibernating for so long. Feelings I didn’t ever expect to feel again.
At some point, I watched Kyle lift one end of the shelving unit to reposition it. His hands were steady, and he knew exactly where to grip it, how to angle it through the turn. After watching him longer than I needed to, I went back to washing the brushes.
"So what'll be on the menu?" He put the unit down and checked the alignment against the wall to make sure it was flush.
"The usual stuff. Coffee, lattes, espresso drinks. And a line of specialty hot chocolates. Not just a few syrups but full-on toppings and blends. I’d love to become known as the place for great cocoa.
" I pulled up some tape from the ground and balled it up.
"I probably won’t do the baking myself, so I need to find a local bakery to supply us with pastries. "
"Smart. That’ll keep your margins clean and your labor costs low." He tightened the screws on each fastener and kept talking. "And if you decide to do any baking in-house later, your permits should allow that expansion pretty easily."
"Good to know." I had so much to learn.
He pulled out a measuring tape and made sure the spacing between shelves was even all the way across. "What's the vibe you're going for? Like, a neighborhood spot or more of a destination?"
"Neighborhood spot, for sure." I didn't have to think about it. "I want people to come every day. I want to know their orders and their kids’ names."
“I love that.” He looked up at me and smiled. “But remembering kids’ names is harder than it sounds.”
“Yeah, I think you called me Eli for the first month.” I flipped over the acrylic sign that had been lying on the counter for almost a year. It was covered in kraft paper because we never got a chance to unwrap it. “But I never corrected you because it was just a name.”
He paused and then came closer to me as I ripped off the paper. “Is that the name? The Daily Grind?”
"It was, but not anymore." I traced a finger over the lettering. "It needs to be different now. That’s not the dream anymore.” The words sounded harsher than I intended, so I looked up at Kyle to clarify.
“I just mean, that was me and Rand. I still want to honor him and the vision we had together, but that future is gone and so is that business. This one will be different."
He nodded and kept his eyes on me. "What do you have in mind?"
"Nothing good." I chuckled as I thought of a few random ideas. "Maybe something like… The New Grind. Or Grinder. Well, not that…but something like that."
Kyle was quiet for a minute as he looked at the sign. “If you want to incorporate his name and keep the word Grind, you could go with something like Grand Grind. His name is literally in the word Grand, and it’s kinda fitting for your new start.”
I thought about it for a minute and smiled. "I love it."
Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him tightly. He was solid and warm, and for a few seconds, I felt happy. Then my brain caught up with my body, and I took a step back. "Sorry. I didn’t mean to…"
"It's fine." He cleared his throat and stepped back. “No big deal.”
And to him, it clearly wasn’t. But for me, it was almost Freudian. And once I felt his strong arms under my palms, I wanted to feel more of him. More importantly, I wanted him to feel me. All of me.
By four o'clock, the room started to look like it could be a coffee shop someday.
Kyle cleaned the brushes at the utility sink while I swept up. When he was done, he had his jacket over his arm. "Same time tomorrow?"
I nodded, pleased that he was coming back. And then a little nervous about being so pleased by that.
When I was all locked in by myself, I turned the lights off and went upstairs.
It was still surreal that the man I once called Mr. Rupert was now my renovation buddy. Even calling him by his first name felt weird. But he reminded me that I wasn’t his student anymore, and we weren’t in class.
He was just Kyle, a friend who wanted to help.
It took a bit for me to separate the teacher I remembered from high school from the man who'd shown up two days in a row with kind words and encouragement that I hadn’t felt since Rand left.
But now it was starting to sink in and it was…
confusing. In a way, they were like two different people, then and now. And that was probably healthiest.
Kyle was my friend. But did I want…more? Was that appropriate? And if the answer was yes to either of those, then what? Like I said, confusing.
My muscles were tight from all the painting, so I hopped in the shower to let the hot spray ease the tension.
As much as I wanted to put Kyle out of my mind, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Was it possible to just be friends with a man like him?
A man who was so attractive and…Daddy-like.
After everything I’d been through, I wasn’t even sure I was capable of having a friend.
He was just a nice guy being kind to someone who clearly needed help.
But the way he listened to me was…nice. And sometimes he looked at me like I was someone he truly cared about. Other times, like something that was fragile and broken. Maybe it was a combination of the two.
The water ran down my back, and I was almost surprised to notice I was getting hard.
I hadn’t been hard in eight months, not if you didn’t count morning wood.
Truthfully, I hadn’t been sure I ever would be again.
But my body apparently had opinions about Kyle, and underneath the sawdust and paint fumes was the spark of a new crush.
But I understood enough about biology and my own need for some endorphins that I stopped trying to talk myself out of it and reached for my cock. As soon as I wrapped my fist around my shaft, my eyes closed and a vision of Kyle filled my mind.
His big hands and strong arms.
The way he smiled when I did something right and was quick to help when I did something wrong just gave me a fuzzy feeling in my tummy.
Kyle was such a Daddy, and I needed a Daddy. Maybe I just needed him.
I stroked faster, and it didn’t take long to get me to the edge.
“Kyle.” I used my other hand to squeeze my balls and then run a finger over my hole.
“Daddy.” Within seconds, that feeling I’d forgotten about uncoiled inside me, and I came against the shower wall in thick streams. Part of me wished I wasn’t in the shower so I could look at my release for a while and keep the fantasy going.
But it was quickly washed away, and the pleasure that I’d fully embraced was quickly replaced with guilt.
Guilt for thinking about Kyle in ways I only ever thought about Rand.
After a quick rinse, I caught my breath and turned off the water. I just needed some sleep before seeing Kyle again in the morning. I didn’t want to make it weird.