Chapter 23
Nora now had a deeper understanding of the expression ‘caught between the devil and the deep blue sea’.
In her scenario, the deep blue sea was actually a craggy cliff face that leaned over a gorge, and the devil was a tight-shorts-wearing lech who went by the name of Trent.
She had chosen the rock climbing. Now she was standing at the base of the precipice she was more than a little uncertain about her choices.
With a steep cliff above her and a sheer drop to the side of her, she gulped.
‘Stop overthinking it and definitely don’t work out the odds of dying. Just go for it and it’ll be fine,’ said Jay with a smile.
‘Was that meant to be reassuring?’ asked Nora.
‘More motivational.’ He looked slightly hurt. ‘Try and look on the bright side.’
‘I can only see a downside.’ She peered tentatively over the edge at the long drop to the river Wye at the bottom.
Jay stood in front of her. Initially he was a bit too close and had to back up. ‘Look at me,’ he said.
‘Not a lot of choice if you’re going to stand there.’
‘I’m serious,’ he said, changing the tone of his voice and also squaring his shoulders, making him appear a little stern. ‘When life presents you with challenges, the last thing you do is show your weaknesses.’
‘Are you acting?’ she asked.
‘Yeah,’ he said, reverting to his usual gentle demeanour.
‘It was very good,’ said Nora.
‘Aww, thank you.’ Jay put his hands on his chest. He shook his head.
‘We’ve got side-tracked.’ He ran his palms up and down a few inches from his face as if resetting his features and making Nora concentrate.
‘Focus. I’m here for you. Today, tomorrow and every day I’m going to be cheering you on.
I know in my heart there’s nothing you can’t do but we all have wobbles and that’s when we shore each other up so that we can take the next step, knowing that someone we trust has our back. ’
‘Acting again?’ she asked with a smile.
He shook his head.
‘Oh.’ She was working out what to say when the leader called to get everyone’s attention.
‘Who wants to go first?’ he asked.
‘Me!’ shouted Nora. From somewhere she had found the courage and gumption she needed.
She also wanted to get the climb out of the way because the longer she had to think about it and work out death odds, the worse things would get.
Like that time at the fairground when she worked out the odds of getting whiplash on the dodgems. By the time she had got to the front of the bumper cars line she was petrified, so she’d shared the information with everyone in the queue.
Looking back that had actually turned out well because, apart from an irate fairground attraction owner, she had the dodgems to herself and a risk-free ride.
‘You’ve got this,’ said Jay. ‘And I’ve got you.’ This time she knew for certain he wasn’t acting.
Last-minute safety checks were made and Nora found herself staring at a wall of rock. Her heart was thumping in her chest and her mind was full of unhelpful statistics. Jay leaned in and whispered in her ear.
‘This is the bit where you start climbing.’
‘I don’t think I can,’ she replied in a hushed voice. It wasn’t so much that she was matching his whispers or that she didn’t want the others to hear, it was more about her not wanting to admit it out loud.
‘Take a deep breath,’ he suggested.
Nora tried but her breathing was all shaky. ‘My brain is so close to going into flight mode.’
‘I take it you don’t mean when you flick that little switch on your mobile before you jet off to the sun, do you?’
She shook her head. ‘No. This is full-on being-chased-by-a-T-Rex run-for-your-life mode. I can’t do it.’
‘Yeah, you can,’ said Jay. ‘Here’s a little trick I use when I can’t remember my lines. I hum a favourite tune.’ There was a long pause. ‘What’s your favourite song?’
‘I can’t think,’ said Nora. She felt like a computer being hacked. Jay was asking her for information she didn’t seem to have access to.
‘That’s OK. How about we go with “Boom, Boom, Boom” by the Vengaboys?’ Nora spun around. ‘I’m joking,’ he said with a smile on his lips. ‘I think a bit of McFly is what we need. Ready?’
‘No,’ she said, but there was something about the look in his eyes that made her want to try.
She stepped forward and put her hands on the first holds she could see, doing her best to ignore her thudding heart.
Behind her, Jay started to hum the opening bars of ‘It’s All About You’ by McFly and she found herself joining in.
The humming automatically steadied her breathing and she began to climb.
Nora concentrated hard on humming while the words to the song filled her mind and she looked for each hold one at a time. Below her she could tell Jay was trying to hum louder, though he was becoming distant. Each grab for a crevice felt like a little victory, every push up a win.
‘Last one is on the right,’ said someone above her and it pulled her attention. The smiling face of one of the climbing crew was looking down at her from the top of the cliff and pointing to a nearby hand hold. She reached out with renewed confidence. ‘That’s it. You’re almost there,’ he added.
As Nora climbed the last few feet and scrambled on to the clifftop she heard Jay break out into full voice for the last verse, although together they must have hummed the song all the way through a few times to get her to the top.
He had a great singing voice but it was the words that were speaking to her.
She felt a rush like nothing she’d felt before and Jay’s proud face at the bottom made it feel extra special.
With Jay’s support she’d done it and she was elated.
*
Dixie was thrilled that Ned was up for helping her to fix up Elsie.
It gave her another little boost. She was starting to realize that while peace, quiet and meditation were wonderful for her mental health, she was also the sort of individual who needed to be around people.
She was missing Nora far more than she had expected to.
They messaged all the time, but it was no substitute for having a good natter.
She also missed Renee. It wasn’t that she was a stand-in for her granny.
Her own grandparents lived in the wilds of Cornwall where they seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time reading the newspaper and walking.
No, there was something about Renee that gave her an energy boost. Perhaps she was the very model of how Dixie would like her later years to pan out, although that would be setting the bar rather high and she definitely couldn’t handle her alcohol the way Renee did, but perhaps that came with age.
Renee was a living legend and that was a status Dixie was unlikely to achieve.
But in more subtle ways she pushed Dixie and the others to be braver.
She was finishing tidying up when there was a knock on the side of the van and a smiling Ned held up a large toolbox. ‘I’m ready.’
‘Excellent. The table in here is awfully wobbly.’ She demonstrated.
‘That’s a priority. I’d like to re-cover the door panels with this fabulous sticky felt I bought.
’ She held up the roll. ‘But getting the panels off is a right faff. I bought some utensil storage which needs putting up and I don’t know one end of a screwdriver from the other.
’ She moved through the van. ‘I thought about here.’ She pointed above the sink.
‘Or maybe better here.’ She pointed to the left of the sink area.
And then down a bit. She pursed her lips as she pondered the many options.
Ned was giving her an odd look.
‘If that’s OK?’ she asked.
‘The table is your priority?’ he asked slowly.
‘Definitely. I almost lost my salad last night. It’s like eating on the side of the Eiger.’ She let out a giggle. ‘I think my friend Renee has a story about Ursula Andress and a trip up the Eiger.’ Dixie shook the thought away. ‘Anyway, if you can fix the table I’d be very grateful.’
‘OK, if you’re sure,’ said Ned, and with a casual shrug he came inside.
This time it didn’t seem as claustrophobic with him in the van with her, although he did take up quite a lot of space.
‘Shall I make us drinks and then I’ll get out of your way,’ suggested Dixie, getting out her gas ring and kettle.
She had just enough water in one of the 1.
5 litre Evian bottles. She’d need to get another one on her next visit to the garage.
She didn’t like bringing back water because it was heavy but as there wasn’t a handy stream or waterfall nearby she had no choice.
‘Coffee with milk and two sugars please,’ said Ned.
‘Ah, I probably should have been more specific. I can offer black coffee with no sugar. Did you still want one?’
‘No, it’s OK. I was only being polite. Are you sure you’re managing OK living here?’
Dixie was a little affronted. ‘Just because I don’t have milk and sugar doesn’t mean I’m not managing.’
‘But there’s no running water or toilet facilities,’ he said, failing to hide his mild disgust at the thought.
‘I have a port-a-potty. I mean loo. It’s very discreet and hygienic.’ She didn’t mention her concerns for its capacity.
‘OK. That’s good then.’
‘Do I smell?’ She put her hands on her hips but then realized that exposing her armpits might not be the best way to demonstrate her point so she crossed her arms instead.
‘Goodness no, of course you don’t. I wasn’t saying that.’ Ned glanced around as if looking for an escape from the hole he’d dug himself into. ‘I’m sorry. I’d best get on with the um … table.’
Dixie busied herself with making a single cup of black coffee even though she didn’t want one either. Things were decidedly frosty all of a sudden.