Chapter 26
Nora went round to Jay’s and was surprised to be met at the door by two Jays. The real one and a life-size cardboard cut-out.
‘I know that review said your acting was wooden but I think they’ll notice if you have this as a stand-in,’ she quipped as she took in the life-size replica.
‘Haha. It’s a present from my stalker.’
‘Shit. No way. You’ve got a stalker?’
‘It would appear that I have.’
‘Was there a message with it?’ asked Nora, studying the grainy image of Jay in jeans and T-shirt.
‘No, but given it’s me when I popped to Tesco Express last week I think it’s safe to say that’s a clear message in itself.’
‘Bloody hell, this is a bit scary. Are you OK?’
‘Let’s say I’m really glad I have Bruce at home. I guess this is the price of fame. Not that I’ve had much of that.’
‘Now come on. Those press pictures of Tasha and you leaving the restaurant the other night were all over social media.’
He pulled a face. ‘In most of them all you could see of me was my elbow.’
Nora pointed at the cardboard cut-out’s elbow. ‘And a very photogenic one it is too.’
He rolled his eyes at her. ‘Anyway, let’s stick this in a cupboard.’
‘Do you not want to burn it?’ she asked, thinking it was weird to keep it.
‘I don’t think watching my own effigy go up in flames will be great for my mental health and I can’t put it out with the bins in case the neighbours think I bought it. So for now it’s living in the cupboard. Maybe if I get famous I’ll donate it to charity.’
‘One you don’t like,’ said Nora, and Jay rolled his eyes at her.
Nora relayed her evening with Liam once more for Jay’s benefit over a supermarket pizza and received a similar response to the one she’d had from Dixie. At least her friends were consistent.
‘What’s the plan now?’ he asked, getting out a pull-along hoover.
‘I’m going to let Liam make the next move and anyway I’ve got my meet-up with Mickey tomorrow.’ Nora watched as Jay plugged in the vacuum. This was weird: he was a bit of a neat freak but they’d not made any mess with the pizza.
‘Tomorrow? You’re taking time off work to see him? You never take time off work.’
‘Which is why I have loads of holiday I need to take. And a Friday was better for him because he’s a personal trainer so he works weekends.’
‘Of course he is,’ said Jay. ‘So a day at the beach then. Weather forecast is sunny. Should be the perfect day for it.’
‘It should. Are you working tomorrow?’ she asked.
‘I wish. But I’ve an audiobook coming up so no need to sign up for a job pushing supermarket trollies just yet.’
‘That’s good news.’
‘Thank you. And it means tomorrow I will be free as a bird.’
Nora smiled at Jay’s unsubtle approach. ‘Did you and Bruce still want to come to Skegness?’
‘Absolutely, say a time and we’ll be ready and waiting. Bruce is a different hound.’
‘He did seem calmer when I arrived.’
‘I mean, totally different. I was considering taking him to the vet to get his microchip scanned in case Renee had got in a stunt double.’
Nora chuckled.
‘Don’t laugh,’ said Jay. ‘I would not put it past her and he has no distinguishing features.’
Nora remembered a disturbing conversation she’d had when she’d been telling someone that her childhood tortoise had changed colour while in hibernation and both her parents had started to laugh and all the little traumatic pieces of a twisted puzzle had slotted into place.
Nora involuntarily shuddered at the memory.
‘Do you really think she’s swapped your dog? ’
‘Nah, he still keeps taking the robovac outside to bury it. I’d not be that unlucky to have two identical dogs who do that.’
Nora watched Jay fire up the cleaner. Bruce came trotting in from the kitchen and flopped down in front of Jay, who started to run the nozzle over the German shepherd’s middle.
‘Are you vacuuming the dog?’
Jay switched it off and Bruce lifted his head to glare at him.
‘Yeah. With his coat he needs grooming daily and this is way easier. He killed the robovac. There was only so much soil it could take on board before it died. I bought this as a replacement. He barked at it so I thought I’d show him it wasn’t anything to be scared of, which was when we discovered it doubled as a very effective dog groomer.
’ He fired it up again and Bruce looked like he was in heaven.
‘He does seem different,’ said Nora, impressed by how chilled-out Bruce was now.
‘See, I told you. Swapped for a doppelganger.’
‘Just like you,’ she said, pointing at the cardboard cut-out.
The next morning Nora checked the weather before choosing an outfit and as the forecast was sunshine she went for a simple summer dress.
She’d already got all her beach things together the previous evening so all she had to do was load them into the car and leave.
She always liked to plan ahead; she felt it took out a lot of stress and also reduced the odds of forgetting something vital.
As promised, Jay and Bruce were standing by the gate when she pulled up. Bruce barked excitedly but Jay waved a little chicken in front of him and gave him a command and the dog stopped barking and ate the chicken.
‘Impressive,’ said Nora, getting out of the car. ‘Renee has trained you well.’
‘But I will now forever and more smell like a walking deli counter.’ Jay pulled a Ziplock bag of chicken pieces from his pocket.
Nora tried not to laugh. ‘But if it works that’s a good thing.’
Jay mumbled something as he brought Bruce to the car. The dog was determined to get in the passenger seat so there was a bit of a stand-off but the chicken won and Bruce eventually lay down on the back seat, securely strapped in.
‘Tell me about Mickey,’ said Jay once they had set off.
Nora’s mind flew back to when she’d dated Mickey. It had been a bit of a whirlwind. ‘I mainly remember lots of sex. Great sex and takeaways.’ She was surprisingly comfortable telling Jay honestly about her relationship with Mickey.
‘And you classify that as a relationship?’
Nora tipped her head from side to side. ‘We had fun. I like someone who can make me laugh. We did other stuff together.’ Nora had to rack her brains for what that other stuff was. ‘Mickey is big into his fitness so we went jogging together.’
‘You jogged?’ When she glanced across, Jay was staring at her agog.
‘Yes. Is that so hard to believe?’
‘Er, yeah. Because you hate jogging. And I quote: “If we were meant to run around in circles, we’d all be hamsters.”’
‘I might have said that. Anyway, we got on well together, enjoyed each other’s company and the sex was—’
‘Yeah, you mentioned that already. Why did you split up?’ asked Jay.
This bit was less comfortable to discuss. ‘There were rumours about him cheating on me with the receptionist at the gym. But they weren’t true.’ She took a breath. ‘However, I did walk in on him having sex with the head receiver of a local warehouse.’
‘Head receiver? How ironic.’
‘Exactly what I said!’
‘So he was a cheat and you’re considering a long-term relationship with him. Have I got that right?’ asked Jay.
‘I did consider skipping over Mickey but people are capable of changing and if I’m going to apply the theory then I need to apply it fully.’
‘Hmm.’ Jay didn’t sound like he agreed with her approach.
They got to Skegness with plenty of time to spare – Nora always built in contingency.
‘If we find a good spot on the beach we can set up camp and then I’ll go and meet Mickey,’ she said, getting the things out of the boot.
‘Or we could all grab a coffee and then me and Bruce will set things up.’
Nora gave him a look.
‘What?’ he asked.
‘For one thing, I won’t know where you are and there might not be signal on the beach so I’ll never find you. And secondly, while Bruce is a very good boy—’ The dog wagged his tail at the words, which distracted Nora. ‘Yes, he is. He’s a good boy. Brucey is a good—’
Jay cleared his throat, which regained Nora’s attention. ‘And secondly, if you have hold of Bruce’s lead in one hand, there’s no way you’ll be able to put up a windbreak on your own.’
‘Windbreak? How posh are you?’ Jay gave her a dig in the ribs. ‘Come on then, Queen Camilla, let’s see where to erect your throne and windbreak.’
The sun was already shining and, because it was a Friday, the beach was relatively quiet.
With their arms full they set off across the sand.
They circumnavigated a small family where the toddler was hitting things with a spade while his father made an elaborate sandcastle.
Nora and Jay chose a spot away from other people, as Jay had brought a long lead for Bruce so he could have a bit of freedom.
He wasn’t yet confident enough to let Bruce run free.
Renee had promised to work on his recall next week.
Bruce was a little tentative stepping on the sand at first, which made them think he may not have been to the beach before.
While they were trying to put up the windbreak, Bruce discovered that sand was excellent for digging, which appeared to be the most fun thing ever.
It was lovely to see him beginning to enjoy life.
That was until he ran about like a loon doing a number of laps around them both and tying them to the windbreak with his long lead.
Jay and Nora were instantly pulled together face to face.
‘Wow, extreme close-up,’ said Nora with an embarrassed laugh.
‘Sorry.’ Jay tried to move his arm.
‘Ouch,’ said Nora as his elbow dug into her ribcage.
They both started to rotate in an attempt to free themselves but this got Bruce even more excited and he raced around them a few more times.
‘Maybe if we stay still he’ll be calm and we’ll be able to get out.’ Bruce started to dig a massive hole, showering them with sand. ‘Argh!’ squealed Nora as sand rained down on them.
‘Brucey, come here please,’ said Jay, making Bruce stop for a second before trying to eat the sand.
Eventually Bruce turned around and tried to get to Jay but the lead was pulling tight.
Bruce seemed confused that he couldn’t reach Jay so pulled a bit harder, which squished Jay and Nora together a bit more.
‘Maybe we didn’t think this through,’ said Nora, wriggling an arm free and trying to direct Bruce around the other way in the hope of loosening off the lead.
‘Are you OK? Can I help?’ called the dad from the family with the small child as he strode towards them.
‘No thanks,’ said Jay. ‘We’re—’
‘Yes, please,’ said Nora, encouraging the man over with an odd gesture of her partly trapped arm. The quicker he released them the better. The lower part of one of the posts was quite uncomfortable as it was sticking in her bum cheek and Jay’s bent elbow was still digging in her ribs.
‘Is he friendly?’ asked the man as Bruce started to bark at him. The man stepped backwards and looked as if he was going to run back to his family.
‘He’s a rescue so he’s a bit wary of people,’ said Nora.
‘But he’s not bitten anyone,’ said Jay. ‘Well, not that I know of,’ he added.
The man stared at Jay. ‘Do I know you?’
Jay smiled, took a breath and let out the burp sequence he was known for.
The man looked repelled. ‘Blimey, mate, there are ladies present.’
‘Sorry, I thought you recognized me—’
‘You look like my dentist,’ said the man. ‘But you’re definitely not him.’
Nora started to giggle. Bruce continued to strain on the lead and bark ferociously at the man.
‘Bruce, be quiet please,’ said Jay. The dog looked at him. ‘Now he wants some chicken. It’s in my pocket.’
The man was still keeping his distance so Nora wriggled her hand back inside the windbreak and started trying to locate Jay’s pocket.
‘Not there!’ said Jay with a high-pitched squeak.
‘Sorry. You’ll need to direct me.’
‘Right a bit … No, my right, your left … Round a bit further … now put your hand in there and pull it out.’
Nora was concentrating but she could see the man sniggering in her peripheral vision.
Her fingers met with moist cooked meat. ‘Eww, I think I’ve found the chicken.
At least I hope I have,’ she said, retrieving her hand.
She twisted as much as she could towards Bruce.
‘Come here please, Bruce, and be a good boy for the nice man.’ She shared some of the chicken with the dog, who wolfed it down.
She waved the man closer but he only took one step.
He seemed quite cautious around Bruce. ‘Here, if you take the chicken he’ll follow you anywhere. ’
‘OK.’ The man took the chicken but in the handover he almost dropped it and Bruce darted forward, which made the man dash out of the way with the chicken in one hand and an eager Bruce close behind him.
But at least he was running in the right direction and the lead was soon loose enough for Jay and Nora to escape.
‘Bruce, come here please!’ shouted Jay, waving another piece of chicken. Bruce put on the brakes, stopped chasing the poor man and ran back to Jay.
‘Thank you!’ Nora called to the man. ‘You can keep the chicken!’
Once the windbreak was up and picnic rugs were down, Jay checked his watch. ‘I think I have time to go and grab a coffee if you’re all right to wait here with Bruce.’
‘No problem,’ said Nora, settling herself on the blanket.
‘Did you want one?’ asked Jay.
‘I’ll probably get one with Mickey,’ said Nora.
‘Of course you will. OK. Back in a jiffy.’ He went off across the sand sliding in and out of his flip-flops like a drunk surfer, which made Nora smile.