Chapter 36
Amelodic ringing woke Dixie. ‘Where are you?’ asked Nora.
‘That’s a very good question,’ said Dixie, sitting up and looking around. She lowered her voice. ‘I’m lying down in the campervan with Ned and Renee.’
‘Please tell me you’re not naked.’
Dixie had a quick check. ‘We are all fully clothed.’
‘Thank goodness for that. Wait. Were you and Ned—’
‘Gosh, I don’t think so.’ Although Dixie ran a finger over her lips. Something was making her body tingle.
‘And why on earth is Renee there?’
‘She came to fix Elsie.’ At least Dixie could remember that, even if everything else was a little fuzzy. ‘But we ended up doing leapfrog over giant hotdogs.’
‘What?’ asked Nora. She sounded as confused as Dixie felt.
Renee stirred next to her. ‘Don’t squish the pineapples,’ she muttered before going back to sleep.
‘Hang on, Renee is sleeping.’
Dixie wriggled off the bed like a caterpillar. She was going to sit in the deckchair outside but that was in pieces. Pictures of her and Ned danced into her mind. ‘I think we kissed,’ she whispered.
‘Please tell me you don’t mean you and Renee.’
‘Ha, very funny. No. Me and Ned. We definitely kissed. After we’d been dancing in colours. Hang on. I remember what happened. Renee fed us magic mushrooms. We must have been tripping. Oh thank goodness. At least that explains the giant hotdogs and Ed Sheeran.’
‘But you’re all OK?’ asked Nora.
‘I feel fine. I actually feel zen and happy.’
‘You’re probably still high.’
‘Could be.’
‘You can’t drive like that,’ said Nora, sounding all grown-up.
‘I know. Plus Elsie isn’t fixed anyway. But if Ned and I kissed maybe I don’t want to rush back to civilization.’
‘Oh …’ Nora sounded a bit sad.
‘Are you OK?’
‘Yeah, I’m absolutely and completely fine. I was looking forward to some girly chats. You know. It’s just been me and Jay and … he’s OK … actually he’s great. But he’s still not you.’
‘I will be coming back, just not right now. I think maybe I need to investigate this thing with Ned.’
‘Of course. You must investigate Ned’s thing. Everyone seems to have a thing. And that’s great. I am happy for you.’
‘Nora, you don’t sound right at all.’ Dixie was starting to think that perhaps she should call a taxi and go to Nora’s anyway as there was definitely something wrong.
Nora sighed down the phone. ‘Jay is seeing Tasha Blake. And that’s cool. His film is going to be huge and everything is changing. I need to get my head around it all. I’ll have a glass of wine and a pizza and I’ll talk it over with Oliver. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.’
‘OK. If you’re sure.’ Dixie looked over her shoulder at a dishevelled Ned sitting up. She could tell he was experiencing the same confusion she had but when their eyes met his smile was warm and she knew it was going to be OK.
*
Nora knew it wasn’t a good idea to sit at home and wallow with wine and a pizza, however tempting it was.
What she needed to do was stop dwelling on the lives of others – Dixie happy with Ned, Jay dating his dream girl – and look to her own.
She was happy for her friends, but her own life was not as rosy.
She decided that she was the only person who could solve that. And she knew exactly how to do it.
Nora picked up the phone and made a call. Her future started here.
Nora was early to the Italian restaurant.
Mainly because she didn’t want any reason to back out.
She had reviewed all her exes and now she had made a decision.
Einstein had said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. She had broken the cycle.
The door opened and Nora instinctively turned to see Liam stride in.
He looked gorgeous and confident. He was perfect.
They had history, a shared love of numbers and he was a good man.
There was nothing more she needed. Liam fitted the bill.
Now all she had to do was find out if he felt the same about her.
‘Hey,’ he said, leaning down and planting a kiss on her cheek.
‘Thanks for coming,’ she said as he took a seat opposite.
‘No worries. Is everything OK? It sounded serious on the phone.’
‘Shall we order some drinks and then we can chat?’ It wasn’t that she wanted to delay the discussion, but she really did need that glass of wine now.
‘Of course.’ Liam nodded at a waiter and they quickly came over. ‘Please can we order some drinks?’
‘Absolutely, sir. Would you like the wine menu?’
Liam looked at Nora. ‘Still like a Merlot?’ he asked.
It was nice that he remembered and it put her a little at ease. ‘That’ll be good.’
‘A bottle of Merlot please.’
The waiter nodded and disappeared. Now they were in that awkward in between part where they had no drinks and only the menus to distract them. Nora stared at hers in the hope that Liam would get the message that she wasn’t quite ready to reveal why she’d asked him there.
‘So …’
Nora looked over the top of her menu. Liam was staring at her. ‘I’ve not decided yet,’ she said as she raised the menu. She liked lasagne but she could have that at home. Perhaps she’d go for the gnocchi.
Liam gently pushed her menu down. ‘I know you. There’s something up and now you’re starting to worry me.’
She didn’t like that he was concerned about her.
The best approach was to be brave and just come out with it.
What was the worst that could happen? Unhelpful images of him turning the table over and storming out ran through her mind.
But he wasn’t like that. The worst he would do would be to look embarrassed and leave.
‘Right. The thing is … Why is there always a thing?’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘Is there?’ He didn’t know about the other things. Jay’s thing with Tasha and Dixie’s thing with Ned.
‘I’m just going to say it. Please don’t judge me or hate me. Or—’
‘Nora …’
‘Sorry.’ She took a steadying breath. ‘I asked you here because—’
‘A bottle of the Merlot?’ The waiter showed the bottle to Liam.
‘Thanks.’ They sat awkwardly while the waiter half filled their glasses, which seemed to take ages. At last he put down the bottle and walked away.
Liam had a look of expectation about him.
She thought back to their last outing when Gareth had tried to join them and Liam had said they were friends.
That comment was still niggling her. It was the thing that was going to spoil things if that was all he thought of her.
That was the red sock in her whites wash.
‘Liam. When Gareth rocked up when we were having coffee …’
He shook his head but was smiling. ‘He was a bit full on. How did you ever match with him?’
‘Who knows? Anyway, the thing is, when he asked how you knew me, you said we were old friends.’ She waited and watched for his reaction.
‘I can’t believe he asked about your bowels.’ Liam laughed as he perused the menu.
‘Liam, are you listening to me?’
He looked up. ‘Yeah. I said we were old friends. I thought that was the end of your sentence.’
‘It was but what I want to know is … is that it? Is that how you see our past? Just friends?’
She had to make herself keep breathing steadily, otherwise she was in danger of holding her breath and passing out.
‘Umm, it wasn’t something I was thinking too deeply about at the time.’ He put down the menu. ‘But I’m guessing you’ve been dwelling on that.’
She scratched the back of her neck. ‘Nah, not really. Not thought about it until now, or not much anyway.’ He was smiling at her.
‘OK, I have been totally obsessing about it. Because I thought maybe we had something. You know, like the thing everyone else has. And I think now that we threw it away. But maybe we shouldn’t have done.
I wonder whether if we hadn’t broken up perhaps we’d still be together now.
And maybe we’d be happy.’ It wasn’t at all how she’d rehearsed it in her head but at least it was said now.
‘Ahh, the “what might have been” conundrum.’ He gave a slow nod. ‘We all do it. It’s kind of fun to play out different endings in your head. I get it. Truth is that whether it would have worked out long-term is something we’ll never know.’ He picked up his menu again.
Nora pushed his menu back down on to the table. She looked him in the eye. ‘I’m asking you if you want to try again, because I think I do.’