Chapter 27
Nate massaged his left hand, still sore from yesterday’s meeting, wishing not for the first time that he’d been the one to fly out and stay with his Aunt Susie. He’d never met a group of people who could talk about nothing for such an absolute eternity. He had the minutes to prove it.
And here the group was back at it again this afternoon. At this rate he was hardly going to knock anything off his mom’s to-do list.
Nate straightened in his chair, clearing his throat as he tried to come up with a forceful but polite way to end this meeting and keep them from coming back ever again. “So, listen, everyone. Not to be rude, but—”
“I know exactly what you’re going to say,” Gus said, pointing at Nate. “I’ve been sitting here, thinking the same thing.”
Somehow, Nate doubted that. Especially when Gus followed up with, “How can we have Wine and Cheese Committee without any cheese?”
“This isn’t Wine and Cheese Committee,” Georgie said, dressed today in a loose button-down top covered in giant palm leaves with matching pants that Nate felt fairly certain could moonlight as a pair of pajamas. “That’s every second Thursday of the month.”
“I thought every second Thursday of the month was Foreign Language Club,” Gus said.
“Nein,” said Barb with a smile as she handed everyone a piece of paper. “That’s every third Thursday of the month.”
“What’s today?” Gus said.
“Tuesday.” Evie held her knitting needles and yarn up to Barb. “Is this looking like how it’s supposed to look?”
“Is it supposed to look like a deflated football?” asked Barb.
“A scarf,” said Evie.
“Uh-oh,” said Barb, taking the knitting supplies from Evie.
“So today’s Book Club then?” said Gus. “Don’t we still eat cheese?”
“Book Club is first Friday of all the odd months,” Georgie said. “Even months is Stop This Town from Going Down the Toilet Committee.”
“And if you’ll look at the proposed budget I just handed out,” Barb said, untangling the yarn, “you’ll see our funds have pretty much gone down the toilet.
I think the Dominoes Dance is going to be the only fundraiser we can help out with this year.
Speaking of which, I hear they still need a photographer. ”
Georgie pointed at Nate.
He scribbled in his notebook. Dance. Photographer. Find.
Gus frowned at the budget. “Can’t you run these numbers again, Barb? We’ve got to have enough for cheese.”
“I do like cheese,” Evie said in agreement.
Gus pointed at Nate.
He clicked his pen. Gus and Evie like cheese.
“So what’s today’s meeting then?” said Gus.
“June Fundraiser meeting,” said Georgie.
“Didn’t we just have that meeting?” said Gus.
“No, that was our secret Lottie’s Gotta Go meeting where we decided to reschedule everything last minute in an attempt to keep Lottie from attending our meetings because we all agreed she’s questioning my capability as a committee leader and it’s wreaking havoc on my blood pressure.
Not a word of that in the minutes,” Georgie added, pointing at Nate.
He set his pen on the table.
“Well, can’t we at least have some crackers?” Gus waved off the pot of coffee getting passed around and folded his arms over his chest. “How are we supposed to have a meeting about anything without any snacks?”
“Maybe we shouldn’t.” Nate leaned forward in his chair. “Meeting adjourned?”
“Sorry I’m late,” Lottie yelled just as the front screen door slammed shut.
Nate slumped back in his chair, Barb and Evie winced, Gus sighed, and Georgie mumbled, “I knew I should’ve taken both blood pressure pills this morning,” as Lottie continued hollering all the way into the dining hall.
“I don’t remember talking about changing the meeting schedule at our last meeting. Did we talk about that? Good thing I happened to see all your cars in the driveway when I was bird gazing out my bathroom window a bit ago.” She rushed in and plopped her purse on the table. “Did I miss anything?”
“Nothing but cheese,” Gus grumbled.
“I thought Charcuterie Society wasn’t until Friday,” said Lottie.
“Let’s just move along with the agenda,” Georgie said, sliding on her green reading glasses and peering down at her open folder.
“As you know, Saturdays in June are when we always help with Bugle’s fundraiser events.
Unfortunately we seem to be losing more funds than we raise.
We’ve already had to cancel the fish fry for June thirteenth.
Barb, do we have the official numbers back from our library book sale on the sixth? ”
“I can give you the numbers,” Lottie said before Barb could respond. “There were none. Talk about a terrible turnout. And we can’t blame the weather either.”
“She’s not completely wrong,” Barb said, continuing to undo strands of yarn from Evie’s knitting needles as she reported their grand total earnings.
“I suppose that’s not enough to remodel the children’s library wing, is it?” said Georgie.
Lottie grunted. “That’s not even enough to repaint one of the walls.”
“I just wish there was a way we could stir up a little more excitement about our town events,” Barb said. “The Dominoes Dance typically does okay, but what are we going to do the last Saturday of the month? That’s usually our big event.”
“How about another author event,” Evie said. “That guy who talked about his book on beekeeping was interesting.”
“The first time,” Lottie said. “Not sure how many more times people want to sit through that talk again.”
“I’ll sit through it as many times as he keeps bringing those samples of honey with him,” Gus said.
“What about a festival?” said Evie. “The last town I lived in had an annual mule event with parades, food trucks, games, and even a few exotic animals. The kids loved it.”
Lottie snorted. “Where are we going to find the budget for food trucks and exotic animals?”
“So then we go back to the author idea,” said Barb. “Except maybe instead of a local author, we try to bring in some other sort of celebrity.”
Georgie cleared her throat. “I’m actually glad you said that, Barb, because—”
“A celebrity?” Lottie interrupted with a laugh.
“How are you supposed to get a celebrity in this town? Now when I was president of the PTA in Franklin, which we all know is just down the road from Nashville, that was a whole different matter. We had more famous singers willing to attend our fundraisers than we knew what to do with. Why one year, Brad Paisley and Keith Urban—”
“We don’t care about your little committee in Franklin,” Georgie blurted.
“Little?” Lottie’s fingers splayed across her chest. “Excuse me, but I’ll have you know that little committee was the—”
“Most active and thriving PTA in middle Tennessee, including the Nashville area,” everyone said at the same time, including Nate.
“Well, it was,” Lottie said with shrug. “And I want that recorded in the minutes.”
“Point is,” Georgie said, taking Nate’s pen out of his hand before he could write down anything, “the little committee you see sitting right here is just as capable of bringing in a famous celebrity as any committee anywhere.”
“Sure,” Lottie said with a smirk. “If you consider Larry the Beekeeper a famous celebrity.”
“I do,” Evie muttered.
“Best honey I’ve ever tasted,” added Gus.
“We can get a celebrity here,” Georgie said, throwing the pen on the table.
“Prove it,” said Lottie, slapping her hand on the table across from her.
“I will,” said Georgie, slapping the table.
“How,” said Lottie with another slap.
“I’m already in the process of bringing a big name here as we speak,” Georgie said, winding her arm.
Nate grabbed her hand before everybody’s coffee got upended. “Please tell me you didn’t invite anybody here while my mom is away. We’re technically closed.”
“I thought you said it was technically open,” said Lottie.
“Closed, open, right now I’m in the middle of doing a lot of work,” said Nate. Or at least he would be if he wasn’t wasting so much time on these ridiculous meetings.
“Couldn’t agree more,” said Georgie. “Which is why I wouldn’t dream of bringing a celebrity here. I offered up Barb’s barn instead.”
Barb gasped and patted her heart. “My barn would be honored.”
“I can’t say as much for the celebrity,” said Lottie. “Unless he’s Mister Ed, why on earth would anyone want to come see Barb’s barn?”
“It’s a very nice barn,” said Barb.
“Even so—” started Lottie.
“Would you just let me finish?” yelled Georgie.
When Lottie clamped her puckered lips shut, Georgie inhaled a deep breath, then continued in a more subdued tone. “I got the idea from a podcast.”
“I didn’t know you knew how to listen to podcasts, Georgie,” said Barb, her voice full of awe as she handed the knitting needles and yarn back to Evie. “Try loosening your stitches.”
“I don’t know a lick about podcasts,” said Georgie.
“But the girl I hire to help declutter my house whenever she’s on school break listens to them all the time.
Usually it’s about murder. But a few weeks ago she had one playing and this time it was an interview with a famous celebrity who raised money for charity by asking people to make bids online for him to visit their home.
Then that’s what he did. He went to that person’s house and put on a concert right there in their backyard.
Got me thinking I should reach out and see about someone doing that exact same thing here. So that’s what I did.”
“Uh-huh. And who’s this supposed celebrity?” Lottie asked. “Because I guarantee you no real celebrity in their right mind is going to want to visit Bugle. No offense.”
“Yes offense,” said Georgie. “What’s wrong with here, other than your bad attitude?”
“Did you ever think my bad attitude might have something to do with your bad leadership when it comes to the proper way of running a committee?”
“Not once.”
“Okay, okay,” Gus said like a boxing referee waving the opponents back to their corners. “Let’s get back to the celebrity.”
“The one who isn’t coming?” muttered Lottie.
“The one who, I’ll have you know, has already expressed a strong interest in visiting, so long as there isn’t a scheduling conflict.”
Soon as Georgie’s hand twitched, Nate grabbed it. “No more slapping the table.”
“So who is it?” Evie said, already trying to unravel another tangle of yarn from her needles. “Come on, Georgie, you’ve got to tell us.”
“Yes, Georgie,” said Lottie. “We’re simply all ears.”
“I’m not saying anything until it’s official.”
“Shocking,” said Lottie.
“But you could at least tell us if it’s a guy or a girl, right?” said Gus.
“Or what kind of celebrity this person is,” said Barb. “Movies? Music?”
“Or if the person’s cute,” said Evie.
“Nope. Not saying anything. Not a word. Not a single word,” said Georgie.
“Until she tells you the words ‘Nobody’s coming,’” muttered Lottie.
Georgie shot her a glare, then said, “Fine. One clue. But that’s it. You ready?”
“We’re ready,” they all said back. All but Lottie, who was shaking her head with her arms folded, and Nate, who didn’t know how this was all going to play out, but knew one thing for certain.
Whatever Georgie had up her sleeve, he wasn’t ready.