Chapter 68
Nate didn’t know where he was.
“You sure I’m headed to the right place?” he’d asked his mom less than ten minutes ago when he turned off a single-lane road onto a rutted dirt path flanked by overgrown shrubs.
“It’s not like I keep tabs on the man,” she’d answered, followed by, “What’s that strange sound?”
“I don’t know. Car started making it a little while back.” About the same time the Check Engine light came on to be exact. Nate would deal with it later. “But you do think he lives out here?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s the address he gave me a while back when I needed to forward some mail. Why don’t you try calling him?”
Nate had. Multiple times. Without a response.
Now, pulling into a paved driveway nestled in a copse of trees, guilt punched Nate in the gut for all the times the reverse had been true. How many times had he ignored his dad’s texts? Voicemails? Cards?
He squeezed the steering wheel, staring at an A-frame log cabin that somehow looked both rustic and super expensive.
In one of the messages his dad mentioned something about installing his own recording studio.
Was he recording an album now? A white truck and a red SUV were parked close to the house.
Maybe he should leave.
Perfect love casts out fear, Nate. You have a big heart. One that loves big. Stop reining it in. Stop being afraid to share that love with others—even when they don’t deserve it. Especially when they don’t deserve it.
Of course the words from his mentor’s letter demanded to ride shotgun with him the entire drive from the B&B to here. Wherever here was.
Nate still wasn’t sure how this hidden remote area sat tucked outside of Nashville. But he did know one thing— he wasn’t here for reconciliation, no matter how badly his mentor would’ve wanted that for Nate if he were still around.
“Sorry, old friend. That’s not what this is about.” If Nate’s back wasn’t against the wall, he wouldn’t be here at all.
A woodpecker hammered somewhere above as Nate climbed out of his vehicle.
A couple of squirrels nattered, chasing each other from one tree branch to another.
As much as Nate wanted to slide back into his seat, turn his car around, and blast music loud enough to drown out his mentor’s message, he knew he couldn’t leave. Not without trying.
And yet he couldn’t seem to move his feet more than two steps forward either.
He stood another full minute next to his car, not sure whether to hope his dad was home or that he never heard from him again. Never hearing from him again would probably hurt less than getting turned down.
Another minute passed.
Followed by another minute.
Several more would’ve followed if the front door didn’t swing open. A tall slender man with more salt than pepper in his hair stepped out onto the small porch. Nate didn’t need an introduction. The guy looked too much like himself to not be his father.
“I need a favor,” Nate said, figuring it was best to get straight to the point. “Would’ve preferred doing this over the phone, but . . .”
His dad stood motionless and staring, like everything Nate said was on a five-second delay before reaching his ears. Once he seemed to process Nate’s words, he started patting his chest, then his back pocket. “Did you try calling? Sorry. My phone’s off. We’re recording an album.”
Nate took a step back. He shouldn’t have come. His dad rubbed elbows with some of country music’s biggest stars. Why would he ever want to waste a minute on a guy like Nate?
Because you’re his son.
Nate shook off the thought and took another step back. Yeah, well, being his son hadn’t been much of a lure twenty-some years ago. Nate had a hard time seeing how it mattered now.
“You need money?”
“What?” Nate jerked open his car door and shot his dad a look. How dare he suggest the only reason Nate would show up out of the blue had something to do with money. Even if that’s pretty much the entire reason why Nate had shown up out of the blue. “I don’t need anything from you.”
“Then what are you doing here?”
A wild turkey strutted around the corner of the house. Nate stared at the turkey. “Honestly, I have no idea.”
“Somehow I doubt that’s you being honest. Why don’t you just say it?”
“Say what?”
“Whatever it is you came here to say.”
What had he come here to say? For a moment Nate couldn’t remember. Until McKenna’s bright blue-green eyes flashed in his mind and a love so fierce and powerful punched his chest harder than if he’d been kicked by a horse. “You should pay for mom’s emu,” Nate blurted.
Okay, that wasn’t exactly what he’d come here to say, but it was a start.
And now Nate’s words appeared to be on a ten-second delay. His dad cocked his head to the side. So did the turkey. “Okay . . . Anything else?”
“No.” Nate gripped his hair. “Actually, yes. Mom’s bed and breakfast needs help.
She doesn’t know it, but she needs twenty grand and a celebrity by tomorrow.
And I need it too, because the woman I love is counting on me and unlike you, I plan to come through for her.
Always. I’ll never stop.” Okay yeah, so maybe Nate did know what he needed to say.
“You want honesty, Dad? Well, be honest with me about this. How could you just walk away from your wife and son? Didn’t we matter to you at all? ”
“Nate.” His dad’s voice held a note of desperation.
“You know what? Never mind. Doesn’t matter at this point. Forget I came.”
“Now hold on just a second.” Footsteps rushed down the wooden steps and made it to Nate by the time he’d opened his door and slid inside.
His dad’s hands gripped the door before Nate could close it.
“Listen to me. I’ve always loved your mom and you.
I have. But making a living out of music .
. . that’s just something I was made for, Nate.
I don’t know how else to explain it. When you came along, I wanted to be a good father, of course I did.
But I couldn’t not chase after the one thing I was born to do.
I tried asking your mom to come with me.
I begged her to. But that wasn’t the life she wanted, and I didn’t blame her.
She chose you, and I’ve never once held it against her. ”
“Well . . . wish I could say the same about the decision you made. Because I have held it against you. I have, Dad. For as long as I can remember.”
His dad’s hands dropped from the car door as he straightened. “I’m not saying I was perfect and I’m not saying I always made the best choices, but I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty for following the path I was created for.”
Wow. Is that really all his dad had to say for himself? Nate nodded, letting silence fill the next several seconds. When more silence followed, Nate nodded again. Guess that was all his dad had to say for himself.
Well, it wasn’t all Nate had to say. As much as he’d like to storm away and never return, he wanted to be better than that. McKenna deserved a man better than that.
He lifted his gaze to look his dad in the eye as the words he knew he needed to say, the words his mentor had prayed for years that he’d find the strength to someday say, clung to the inside of his throat. Nate forced every single one out.
“Well . . . whether you feel guilty or not . . . whether you deserve it or not . . . I just want you to know . . . I forgive you. I’m done holding it against you.”
More words tumbled out. Words he knew in that moment he was only able to say because an ex-con who knew the power of forgiveness and redemption had taken the time to love Nate well, and that was the type of man Nate prayed he could be for McKenna.
“You don’t have to do anything for me, Dad. Not a thing. I still forgive you.”
Nate started the car. Then he rolled down the window as he put the car into reverse. “But if you should be so inclined, it would be awful helpful if you could find me a celebrity who’s willing to put on a private concert at mom’s bed and breakfast tomorrow six thirty sharp.”
Nate may be ready to forgive his dad for the past, but that didn’t mean he was above pulling whatever strings he could for McKenna’s future. He just prayed that it worked.
Twenty-five minutes later Nate was still praying.
Only now those prayers centered on having a rental car that made it back to the B&B.
As he pulled off to the side of the road with smoke rising from what he could only assume was the engine, something told Nate his prayers weren’t getting answered anytime soon.