Chapter 10
Chapter
Ten
Tatum
“I’m sure she hasn’t gone far.” I glanced around the room, dread filling my gut as I realized that Abbie’s sister wasn’t the only person missing.
Abbie was a sweet kid. She’d talked Calix’s ear off about guitars until I’d taken pity on him and distracted her with a cookie. Not the horrible raisin ones. When she’d finished eating, we’d discovered her sister’s absence.
The door to the bathroom I’d dragged Toby out of earlier was closed, and I cast a concerned look at Otis, who frowned, doing the same math in his head.
Crossing the room, he tried the handle before hammering on the wood. The door stayed resolutely closed, but the grimace Otis wore on his face warned me things weren’t quiet on the other side.
“Who would like to go out on the stage?” I asked loudly, herding Abbie toward the exit while waving to the rest of the group to follow.
As everyone filed out, I sent a glare at the twins, who had made no move to follow.
Toby stared off into space, completely spaced out on whatever he’d taken earlier, and Calix sat back with his arms crossed tight against his chest. The flat look he gave me said there was no way in hell he was going to help me with the tour.
Well, fuck him. His bandmate had screwed with the schedule, so he could help me clean up the mess.
“Guess what, everyone,” I chirped, sending Calix the most saccharine smile I could muster. “Calix has agreed to give you guys an exclusive acoustic performance of ‘Lies We Live’. Everyone, move through to the stage, and we’ll meet you there in just a minute.”
Amidst the cheers and fangirling of the group, I lowered my voice so only Calix would hear. “Your public awaits.”
“I’m done performing for these people.”
“Well, they’re not done with you. It’s far too early in the tour to start pissing people off, so get your ass up and go make sweet musical love to the nice paying customers.”
Calix growled but pushed to his feet, a look of weariness passing over his face that almost made me feel sorry for him.
I knew he didn’t like people, but he still had a job to do.
Striding across the room, he stopped inches from me, backing me into the doorframe.
The smell of fresh sweat couldn’t cover the woodsy scent of his cologne.
I didn’t want to admit it, but the first chance I had, I’d snuck through Calix’s toiletries to find out the name of the scent.
Tom Ford’s Oud Wood. If the company had any business sense, they’d sign him up as the poster boy because millions would buy it just to feel closer to the surly man in front of me.
The muscle in his jaw ticked, as though he were trying not to smirk as he cocked his head. “Why does it sound like you’re whoring me out?”
Shit. Rule number one of dealing with Calix was don’t tune out. It was just so damn hard not to when he was this close. He made me want to do bad things. Even though I hated him. Because I did.
I grinned unrepentantly, sliding out from under him to follow the VIPs toward backstage. “Because I am.”
I swore to myself I wouldn’t look back at him. This was a power play I had to win. Putting more sway into my hips as I walked away, I imagined him staring at my ass as I went. Wishful thinking, but it was part of the game.
After a few seconds, I heard the satisfying thump of his boots following me.
Point for Tatum.
Out on the stage, the VIPs had been seated in a semi-circle around a stool.
As Calix appeared behind me, the conversation dropped off.
The excitement among the group was palpable as they watched him, mesmerized.
Without acknowledging anyone, he retrieved his guitar from its stand and perched on the stool center stage like a king reclining on his throne.
I had intended to return to the green room and rip Harvey a new asshole for his antics, but as his fingers ran over the strings, the urge drifted away.
“Dig beneath my skin, find the rot that lies within,” Calix sang, his words flowing over me like a lover.
It reminded me of the first time I had heard his voice, not so long ago in the back of a taxi, when I wondered if it was real.
The small amount of self-preservation I had left wished it wasn’t because despite my logical mind knowing the man was a pain in my ass, I still felt my body warm in the same way it had in the back of the cab.
Subtly shifting my weight to ease the ache his words ignited in my core, the shift of the stage curtains caught my attention.
Beyond the reach of the stage lighting, Tobias stood in shadows, watching his brother.
I eased slowly toward him, unsure if I should alert Calix to his presence, and as I got closer, I realized he was mouthing along with the words.
I can not endure, can’t fight anymore.
There is no escape from these lies that we live.
No form of attack, we can’t find our way back.
It will all fade to black on these lies that we live.
A chill ran through me as I caught sight of the blank expression on his face.
It’s just the drugs. He’ll be fine once he’s sober.
I hated how little I believed it as I reached out to touch his elbow. He flinched away from me, a startled look fading slowly into recognition.
“I hate this song,” he said by way of greeting.
Whatever he had taken seemed to still be affecting him, but I couldn’t suppress the relief to find he’d moved out of the zombie stage he’d been in earlier.
His pupils were blown wide, and a small tremor ran through his hands as we stood there watching Calix strum through the bridge of the song, eyes closed and face set in lines of a struggle I knew nothing about.
But Tobias knew, and as I saw the pain mirrored on his face, I couldn’t keep quiet any longer.
“Why do you hate it?”
I regretted the question as soon as I put it out there. Tobias’s silence was more answer than I deserved, considering I’d known these guys less than two weeks. It just felt longer. Truth be told, I wanted to know everything about them, and the tease Otis gave me only made me want to know more.
Shoving down my curiosity, I opened my mouth to apologize and revoke the question when he spoke.
“It was his suicide song.”
After reuniting Abbie with her blushing older sister and steering the VIPs out of the stadium, I stumbled back to the tour bus with Tobias’s words still ringing in my head.
Had he been speaking metaphorically, or…?
I really needed to shelve that question because the only people who could answer that were currently either passed out, slumped against the front tire of the bus, or emotionally locked up tighter than Fort Knox. With a sigh, I shook Tobias by the shoulder, receiving a grunt in response.
“Come on, big guy. Let’s get you inside.” Hiking his arm over my shoulder, I pushed and pulled until I had him upright, feeling tiny under his tall frame.
“Angel,” he muttered, throwing us off balance as he turned toward me.
“Okay, easy. Work with me here.” With a bit of effort, I maneuvered him to the base of the steps where we had to pause as he buried his face in my hair, inhaling deeply.
“You smell like redemption, Angel. Are you here to save my soul?”
“I thought your brother was the lyricist. I’m here to get you to bed. Can you help me out by climbing these stairs?”
Tobias pulled back and shot me a panty-melting smile. “If it means going to bed with you? Anything.”
I choked on air as he summoned the energy to bound up into the bus, leaving my “That’s not what I meant,” unheard.
As I made my own ascent, I was met with the distinct slapping sound of flesh on flesh.
On the cushion where I’d sat and drank my morning coffee while traveling 75 mph down the freeway twelve hours before was Harvey’s naked ass, enthusiastically humping up into an equally naked Lainey, the bassist for Blood Dirt.
I hated the woman already.
Without pausing her bouncing, Lainey’s eyes traveled over me, dismissing me immediately and slid over to Tobias, who seemed to have exhausted his burst of energy.
“Hey, baby. Wanna join us? I’ve got a little something that’ll get you going.”
Harvey gripped her hips and thrust up hard, making her squeal and burst into laughter as I stood frozen, unsure what to do.
“Tobias, get your dick out,” Harvey growled, as though this were all a normal day. But it wasn’t a normal day, and Tobias was too substance-affected to be able to even spell consent. Let alone give it.
“No. No one else is getting their dick out, and if I see even a hint of yours, Harvey, I will cut it off. Don’t test me.
We’ll be having a long talk about this tomorrow.
” My hands shook as I grabbed Tobias, towing him behind me to the back of the bus where a large bed took up space in the only private sleeping space.
“Mmmm, bed,” Tobias rumbled in a sleepy tone so like his brother’s that it threw me for a moment.
They were so different in personality that it was a shock to remember they were identical on the surface in so many ways.
Taking advantage of my momentary distraction, he swept me into his arms and tossed me onto the mattress before crawling after me.
I sat up against the headboard as he wrapped his arms around my hips, rubbing a cheek against my thigh and settling in.
With little other choice, I stroked his hair, enjoying the feeling of the strands running through my fingers. He released a shuddering sigh and melted under my touch, his lashes fluttering closed.
We sat in silence for a while, the peace of the moment lulling me into a kind of trance. Just when I thought he had passed out again, he spoke without opening his eyes.
“Please don’t leave us, Angel. We all need you so bad.”