Chapter 16
Chapter
Sixteen
Otis
In the absence of our manager, I ushered the VIPs from the room. While smiling and thanking them for their support, I kept one eye on the closed bathroom door.
What the hell were they doing in there?
An urgent buzzing in my chest screamed that I should go and intervene. Harvey couldn’t be trusted with anyone in close quarters, and while I knew Tatum could handle herself, she also needed this job. There was no telling what could be going on behind the door.
You know exactly what’s happening.
I scraped a hand through my hair, trying to dislodge the thought. She wouldn’t. Especially after the way she reacted to our almost kiss… But the minutes stretched, and just as I was close to saying to hell with it and busting in there, Harvey slipped out.
When I was young, I had a recurring nightmare where I had to dance in front of a stadium full of people, but every time I stepped up to my dance partner, they turned away and danced with someone else.
The beautiful couples would move in circles around me until I woke with the sound of a stadium full of people laughing at the loser who stood alone center stage echoing in my head.
I heard that laughter again at the sight of Harvey’s smirk. My chest caved in like I’d caught a physical blow. He sauntered across the room and clapped a hand on my shoulder.
The shudder that passed through me was nothing new. I was pathetically needy for any contact from him.
“Get off,” I grumbled, shrugging away from his touch. I couldn’t face Harvey and the way he affected me, but maybe Tatum needed someone to talk to.
The bathroom door clicked open as I approached, and I braced myself for anything.
What I hadn’t anticipated was being thrown into the wall as our lead singer, Mr. “I don’t like her”, steamrolled through the door and slammed it closed behind him.
What the actual fuck?
I stared at the door for a long minute before what little self-preservation I had kicked in, and I headed for the bus.
The night air was warm on my skin, the breeze caressing my neck like a lover. Had Tatum touched Harvey like that? Had she opened herself up to him in an intimate embrace? Or fucked like rabbits in his usual style. Did she like it? Did he?
Fuck, I needed a drink.
I’d thought leaving when I did would have given me a measure of alone time. That I could have picked out a bottle of something designed to make me forget the whole evening and get to work on the mental bleaching well before anyone else made it back.
I hadn’t even found a glass before all four of them tramped inside and Tatum insisted on this little meeting.
“So you’re telling me you’re going to be my personal sex slave.” Harvey was practically glowing as he needled our manager.
My stomach turned, and I wondered if there was a brand of Tums that worked on emotional turmoil, though I wasn’t positive which part of the situation was causing me unrest. Was it the fact that Tatum had so easily turned me down before hooking up with my bandmates?
Or was it something else? I shook my head, avoiding the curious look Harvey threw my way.
“No. I’m saying I will make myself available to you in whatever way necessary to keep you from making my job harder.”
“How romantic.” I immediately regretted opening my mouth as Tatum frowned at me.
Before she could comment, Calix stole her attention away from me. “Are you opening this offer to all of us? Will you be our good little whore and try to control us with that pussy of yours? Does the record company pay you extra for that?” Intentionally vulgar to force a reaction from her.
“So fucking predictable,” I muttered.
Tatum glared at him while Harvey tossed me a curious look, but his attention didn’t stay on me for long. It never did. Like metal shavings to a magnet, his eyes returned to the one person I couldn’t blame him for watching. Because I quietly wanted to know the answer too.
Rage at myself, at this situation, coursed through me, and fueled by some lingering sense of chivalry, I surged to my feet before I could let my stupid hopes get too high.
“How about everyone keeps their dicks in their pants and not take advantage of the desperation of our manager, huh? What the fuck is wrong with you guys?”
They would use her up and spit her out. Destroy the girl who had shown such determination, sitting in an empty apartment with an overwhelming job ahead of her.
I’d been there for her.
I’d helped her make sense of this new life.
And now I felt like I’d been friend zoned.
The Macallan single malt was on the counter, where I’d left it, and as I stomped toward the back of the bus, I swiped it, holding it close like it was the only friend who couldn’t hurt me.
I needed the buzzing disconnect of alcohol more than I needed my next breath, and considering I’d never been a big drinker, I didn’t expect it to take long for me to get good and numb.
I slammed the door to the back of the bus and jumped back as it rebounded off someone coming in close on my heels.
“What the fuck crawled up your ass?” Harvey demanded, folding his impressive arms over his chest.
I covered the shiver of desire that snaked down my spine with a healthy gulp from my bottle. The alcohol burned on its way down, lighting up my insides and sending a tingle through my balls. Or maybe that was just the effect of having Harvey’s attention focused solely on me.
To prolong the moment, I took another longer draw before a fucking brilliant idea struck me.
It was so simple. So perfectly right that I almost laughed aloud. Instead, I stepped a little closer to my longtime best friend and dropped my voice so no one else would hear.
“Use me instead.”
He was so close, I could smell the sweat he’d worked up during our show. My cock twitched in appreciation at the sight of his plump lips parting. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t had dreams about his mouth.
A small furrow creased his brow. “What?”
This was right. It was the perfect solution.
His hand pressed against my chest as I pulled him into me and kissed the fuck out of him.
Those lips I’d dreamed of were even softer than I imagined, and I reveled in his taste, licking at the seam in a demand to let me in. Give me everything. I wanted to devour him.
The hand at my chest tightened into a fist, and I grunted my approval.
Hold me. I’ll ground you.
Between one heartbeat and the next, everything shifted.
A hard shove sent me sprawling backward onto the bed, and I blinked in shock, my slightly drunk, lust-addled brain trying to catch up with events as Harvey—my Harvey—stood over me with dark eyes and a look of disgust that twisted his features into something unrecognizable.
I reached for him, trying to bring back the moment, but before I could find my feet, he was gone.
Alone, sprawled on a bed with a wilting erection and a half full bottle of Scotch, the rejection stung more than I’d ever feared it would. The two people I wanted didn’t want me, not really. I was useful to them.
No one cared about me.
Taking a mouthful of Scotch, I let the misery and loneliness wrap around me.
This tour was going to be fucking long and lonely, but maybe I could take a page out of Toby’s book and just write myself off so it hurt a little less.
It sounded like a solid plan.