Chapter 19
Chapter
Nineteen
Tatum
I was worried about Otis.
While the tour rolled on in a cycle of hotel rooms, arenas, and overnight hauls on the bus, he had taken to drinking heavily any time he didn’t have his bass in his hand.
I’d tried several times to speak to him, everything from asking where his head was to what he’d like to eat for dinner, and had been met with cold eyes and monosyllabic responses.
The sweet man I’d come to know seemed to have drowned in whiskey and bitter secrets. I missed him.
I’d come to think of him as an ally. Someone who knew where I had come from and wasn’t looking for a way to weaponize it.
But now I was alone.
As the guys finished their final set in Jackson and bounded off the stage, I tried to summon a smile for Toby but couldn’t quite ignore Otis retrieving his flask from behind the stage curtain.
“Why do you look so sad, Angel?” Toby asked, his eyes glassy from the line of cocaine he’d taken before their final number.
Wrapped in his arms as I was, I could feel the fine tremor in his muscles from the stimulants coursing through his system and couldn’t help but feel like I was failing them all.
While my plan to manage Harvey’s sex addiction seemed to be somewhat effective, I now had two members abusing substances.
I hadn’t slept well in over a week, waking from nightmares of overdoses and accidents until I started wishing I could set up an IV line to push caffeine into my veins.
I guess that would make me another addict. More’s the pity.
Calix clapped a hand to the back of Toby’s neck and steered him toward the green room, saving me the effort of putting to words what felt painfully obvious.
I’d be lucky to get everyone through this tour alive.
As Harvey and Otis followed the twins, I took a moment to breathe deep and find my professional mask.
All I wanted to do was shower and curl up in bed with a book so I could escape my reality for a few hours.
What stood in the way of that dream were fifteen VIPs who wanted more than the boys were willing, or able, to give.
With a quick full body shake, I pasted on a smile and followed my band to get them fan ready.
“Are you enjoying the new arrangement, Tater-tots?” Calix asked idly after the last of the VIPs filed out the door.
Otis had disappeared midway through the meet and greet, and Tobias and Harvey left the second the hour commitment had ended. It was weird being alone with the surly lead singer. Weirder when I couldn’t quite read the vibe he was putting off.
“It’s made my job at these things easier,” I said, waving a hand that I hoped would encompass the VIP experience.
“Uh huh. And having exclusive access to De Beaux’s dick must be a real treat.”
I busied myself straightening chairs and picking up dropped trash around the room. I didn’t have to answer to him. As much as he wanted to be in control of everything, this was none of his business.
A warmth at my back was all the warning I had before his voice was right in my ear. “No snappy answer for me? Where’s your bite today, King?”
I turned, ready to give him exactly what he was looking for, and froze. He was closer than he’d normally allow and made no move to increase the distance as we came chest to chest.
Instead, he smirked. “Are you disappointed no one else has taken the opportunity to get into your panties? We’ve already established what a selfish fuck De Beaux is, so I can’t imagine you’ve found any…satisfaction…in your arrangement with him.”
“I don’t see how my satisfaction would be any of your concern, Quinn.”
He was so close I could hear the deep rumble in his chest as he chuckled. He smelled of clean sweat and that Tom Ford cologne. I hated how much I loved the combination. Doing my best to block out the intensity of him, I resisted the urge to step away and tipped my head back to meet his gaze.
“Au contraire. I find myself extremely concerned.” He tugged at the bolo tie looped around his throat. “I think I’d like to fuck you now.”
“What—”
He caught my wrist before I could step away, slid the string tie over his head, and wrapped it around my hand. Then he caught the other one and bound them in a loose knot.
“Would you like to renege on our arrangement?” he asked, his tone deceptively light.
“No.”
“Do you have any objections to fucking me?”
I really didn’t. My objections were all related to how he’d use this against me in the future.
“What do you get out of this?”
His laugh held genuine amusement, and my mind went blank as he graced me with a smile that held a warmth I’d never seen before.
“I thought that would be obvious, Tater-tots. Do you know how fucking works?”
He was trying to put me off balance. Was this a test? Maybe he didn’t intend to go through with it, and the whole objective had been to get me to admit I didn’t want him.
All this flew through my head as he took my silence as acquiescence and led me over to the sofa in the middle of the room.
The venue staff would be waiting for me to check in and let them know they could clean up before closing, but I couldn’t find the words—or self-preservation—to stop what was happening.
With surprisingly gentle hands, Calix slid my jeans and panties off, then guided me down onto the cushions and unbuttoned my shirt.
He directed my hands overhead and had me grip the sofa arm, all while staring me down.
“Keep them here. If they move, I walk away.”
I nodded, my confusion giving way to a building need to see where this would go. He held my gaze for a long moment, assessing my understanding of his instructions, then released the front clasp on my bra.
The cool draft of the air conditioning whispered across my skin as I lay exposed under his assessing eyes.
I didn’t know what to expect. Harvey had a habit of taking what he needed, but Calix wasn’t Harvey.
He started slow, running a single finger along my jawline and down over my throat. His nail scratched slightly over the hollow between my collarbones, then traced over my sternum, showing no interest in detouring to my breasts. Down over the soft curve of my belly, he paused over my pubic bone.
“Are you wet for me?”
My last drop of defiance had me shaking my head, but he just grinned and pushed that finger into my pussy. The noise I made was obscene. He added two more fingers, enjoying the easy slide.
“You try to fight me, but I’m starting to think you like the way we play, Tater-tots.” He dropped his voice. “I regretted not trying this last time.”
Before I could ask what he meant, he dipped his head and licked a long line up my center.
“Fuck.” My hips kicked off the cushion before I could stop myself, chasing the sensation of his tongue as he pulled back.
For once, he didn’t keep me waiting. He muscled my leg over his shoulder and ate me like a man possessed.
I screamed as his tongue drove into me, lighting up nerve endings that made my head swim and stars dance in front of my eyes.
Calix Quinn was a force of nature on a good day, but as an orgasm curled through me, I had a fleeting thought that he may have been a little right.
Calix Quinn was a god.
A sex god.
Not that I would ever admit it to him.
He stripped out of his pants, pulling a condom from God knew where and rolled it on.
I vibrated with anticipation and gripped the arm of the sofa a little tighter to avoid reaching for him.
I wanted him inside me more than I wanted my next breath.
His jaw shone with my release as he crawled over me and drove in to the hilt with one thrust. He was big.
Much bigger than Adam, and it took a minute for me to adjust to his size.
I breathed in slowly through my nose, eyes closed as I focused on the feeling of being completely full.
“Are you good, Tatum?” More than the fact he hadn’t moved, his use of my proper name pulled me back into the room.
“You’re bigger than I’m used to.” The words spilled out unbidden, but the almost boyish grin he gave me kept me from regretting them. I would later. But while I was completely surrounded by him, full of him, I felt a false sense of safety.
This will be your undoing, a voice whispered in the back of my head.
Instead of listening, I lifted my hips and encouraged him to move.
His biceps flexed deliciously on either side of my head as he pulled out almost all the way before driving in hard, shifting my head up the cushion.
Again and again, he pushed deep inside me, warming me from the inside out and lighting me up.
“What do you need?” he murmured. Sweat beaded on his forehead, sliding down his neck to drop into my cleavage.
“More.”
He shifted his weight, lowering onto his arms as he continued at a punishing pace. Reaching between us, he thumbed my clit until my eyes started to roll.
“Fuck yes. Don’t forget to say my name this time.”
I choked on a laugh, reaching for the attitude I’d always brought to our interactions, but he did something with his hips, and it was game over.
“Fuck. Calix, yes!”
He didn’t let up as my trembles faded, just grinned and kept pushing until he groaned his own release. With a soft sigh, he collapsed on top of me, his heart thundering against my breast.
Beyond the door, wheels squeaked as one of the roadies moved a speaker toward the loading dock.
Voices murmured farther off, too quiet to make out.
Our breaths evened out, and Calix made no move to get off me.
His weight was unfamiliar but comforting, like a blanket when you’ve been accustomed to sleeping under a sheet alone.
I didn’t know if this changed anything between us, but I hoped he’d started to realize I wanted what he wanted.
Success for the band. Happiness for all of them.
My shoulder let out a twinge, the muscle cramping from being in such an awkward position, and I pulled my arms down, letting a hand rest in his hair. It was softer than I’d thought.
The change happened faster than his stuttered breath.
Cold air raced across my skin as he leaped from the sofa, swiping his pants up and dragging them up his legs faster than I could adjust to his absence.
“You can’t take a simple fucking instruction, can you?” he growled, ditching the used condom in a trash can and zipping his pants with a glare.
I’d touched him.
Shit.
“How the fuck are you supposed to be a good manager if you don’t know how to do as you’re told?”
“I’m sorry—”
“Don’t fucking apologize right now. Fuck, King. Do you ever get tired of fucking things up?”
I gaped at him as he stomped from the room, leaving me half naked and confused.
No, not confused.
At least I knew what had changed between us.
Absolutely nothing.