Chapter 27
Carly
There was a saying about how distance makes the heart grow fonder and Carly could, in fact, confirm this. Because as the tingling
on her skin vanished and the funeral room came into focus, there was a kind of anticipatory flutter in her stomach.
Was Adam waiting in his office? Would she get to tell the crazy story of how he’d vanished? How long would it take for him
to kiss her?
“He’s not here!” Shireen shouted down the hallway.
Carly’s nails dug into her thighs. Breathe, breathe, breathe, she told herself. She sucked in one long, steadying breath, then let it out and repeated it again and again.
Adam hadn’t returned.
But that was okay. That was normal! Shireen didn’t return until the third loop. For Adam, that meant he’d be back tomorrow.
Carly turned at a knock, and Shireen leaned against the door frame with a sad expression. She came down the aisle of chairs
and took a seat next to Carly.
“I’m sorry that I never checked in on you in all these loops.” Shireen played with the wedding ring on her finger. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to see your dad like this every day.”
“I’ve sort of gotten used to it. Or numb? It’s hard to tell.” Carly swallowed and studied her hands.
“My dad died when I was five.” Shireen’s gaze met hers, and there was an unspoken kinship.
Carly grimaced. “I’m sorry. I think this is the worst club I’ve ever been part of.”
“Yeah, Dead Dads Club suuuucks.” Shireen elongated the last word, and they both let out an unexpected chuckle. “I always wanted
to get married. I was one of those girls who had a box under my bed with pictures printed out of wedding gowns and decor ideas.
I think I just wanted to re-create the family I lost, ya know?”
“Do you still love Adam?” Carly asked, though she was afraid of the answer.
“He was my first everything.” Shireen took off the wedding ring and held it in her palm. “And he’s a really, really good guy. Part of me will always be in love with the idea of what we could’ve been. But we fell out of love a long time ago.”
Shireen pocketed the ring. “Do you love him?”
Carly’s brows shot up from the question. Did she love Adam? Without him, she felt like a piece of her had vanished, too. But
she couldn’t love him—it was too soon for that.
“We really like each other.” Carly leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms. She felt like that wasn’t totally true,
though, because what she felt was more than like. “A lot. We like each other a lot.”
“A lot is good.” Shireen gave her a small smile. “Like I said, he’s a good guy. And how you’re bringing everyone together
to look for him is amazing. Should we do the same today? Split up and do a search party?”
Because of her ADHD, Carly would occasionally get fixated on something—watching all of Gillian Anderson’s performances, making the perfect cup of matcha, hitting ten thousand steps every day. Once she’d mastered the thing, though, her interest waned.
Finding Adam would be her new challenge. If she could focus her energy on bringing him back, maybe all the effort would pay
off. And so, channeling Adam, she said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”
Shireen gave Carly a knowing look. “Now you’re sounding like him.”
“If that helps bring him back, then I’m all for it.” Carly ran a hand through her hair as she gathered her next thoughts.
“I’d like to talk to Rick and Heather. Maybe see if there’s a science angle we can follow. Would you and Dean be willing to
check if anyone else is missing?”
“Absolutely, we’ll do that.” Shireen stood from the chair, ready to get going. “Do you need a ride into town?”
“Actually, could you drop me at Bill and Sheila’s?” Carly stood, too. “I’ll check in with them first.”
“Yes, good call.” Shireen started down the aisle, but Carly was still stuck to the spot.
“I’ll be out in a minute,” Carly said. Shireen gave her a nod, then headed out of the room.
Carly turned to face her dad. She’d been so wrapped up with Adam that she hadn’t had a moment to check in with Bruce. She
approached the coffin and laid her palms on the lid. “Just when I thought the loop couldn’t get weirder, people have started
to go missing,” she said. “And I haven’t done a daily good deed the way I normally do. I spent all of the last loop looking
for the guy I told you about, the one I like.”
She sniffled a bit, unexpectedly becoming emotional over Adam. That was normal for her, though; she’d just tried to forget how scared she was that Adam was gone. “What would you do, Dad?”
She waited for Bruce to respond, or to send some kind of sign. Instead, there was just the stretch of silence she’d grown
used to. “Okay, see you next loop.” She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and headed out to meet Shireen.
Breaking the news to Adam’s parents that he, once again, had not reset, was a devastating blow. The only solace Carly stressed
was that, like Shireen, he’d return the next day.
“What are we supposed to do?” Sheila tearfully asked.
They hadn’t made it past the home’s entryway, and Carly regretted not waiting until they were all seated before telling them
about their son. Because Sheila had all but collapsed into Bill’s arms and he held them both firm.
“Before Adam vanished, a woman in town told us, ‘the best way to predict the future is to create it.’” Carly remembered how
adamant Adam had been about this sentiment. “And I know he took that to heart. He tried to act like Shireen was still in the
world. I’m not sure if that’s helpful, but maybe preparing as if he’s about to come home at any moment will make it real.”
“Is that what you’re going to do? Just pretend like he’s here?” Bill asked.
“No,” Carly admitted. “My version of that is proactively trying to find answers, so I want to talk to Dr. Song. I think it’s
what Adam would want.”
“This is like a living nightmare,” Sheila said through a sob. “To not know where he is. To not know if he’s in pain.”
Carly’s body clenched from the emotions in the room and those words. She’d tried to block out the idea that Adam would be feeling anything, and instead thought of him as being in a kind of holding room.
“Shireen said she felt nothing. When she reset, it was like no time had passed,” Carly offered. “Would you feel better if
you came with me?”
“No.” Sheila blew her nose into a tissue. “You go, look for Adam. I just need a moment to gather myself.”
“Thanks for checking in.” Bill gave Carly a grateful smile and continued to rub Sheila’s back as Carly opened the door and
headed out on her mission.
Walking all of Julian to find a scientist and a doomsdayer wasn’t an option—not in Carly’s combat boots. As she journeyed
back to town, she spotted an abandoned bicycle, tried it on for size and was delighted to find that, while not a perfect fit,
it would do the job. She biked to the bungalow, but there was no sign of Heather and Rick. So she biked down the dirt road
that led to Rick’s airstream in the woods.
And that was where she found them, amidst the plastic pink flamingo haven, loading up Rick’s golf cart.
“Where’s your man?” Rick called out to her.
“He’s not back yet.” Carly flipped the kickstand on the bike to park it. She was tired from all the pedaling, and her ass
had gone numb from the seat. Still, she’d found them. “I wanted to see if either of you had noticed anything that might be
helpful.”
“Nothing since we last saw you,” Dr. Song said. “But I’ll be keeping an eye on the sky while Rick tries to pop the bubble.”
“We trade off,” Rick said. “She gets a day to drag me around looking at bullshit shadows, and then I get a day to find the
weak spot in the fence.”
Carly thought that their pairing was one of the more jarring parts of the time loop: a doomsday overachiever and a science professor. But nonetheless, they’d found each other, hadn’t they? She supposed a screenwriter and a mortician might be an unlikely pairing as well . . .
“You coming or what?” Rick said as he scooted into the golf cart and started the engine.
Carly looked back toward her bike. She couldn’t pedal anymore, and where would she even go? She’d been hell-bent on finding
Heather to ask her about theories, so she might as well ride along.
Carly came to the golf cart and Rick pointed to the back cab, which she climbed into. “Hold on tight,” Rick called out as
he turned the key. The engine purred and he shifted the cart into Drive.
Carly held on to the handrail as the golf cart jostled them down the dirt road. “What happens when you reach a new spot on
the perimeter? Do you just, drive at it?” Carly ducked to avoid the branch of a nearby tree.
Rick veered off the dirt road and into the woods. “I usually walk. Driving straight at it feels a bit too much like a roller
coaster to me.”
The terrain they were going over was wildly uneven, and Carly had to grip both sides of the cart to stay inside of it. They
reached a spot in the woods, overgrown with blueberry bushes and tall oak trees. Rick parked the cart, then got out. He took
the map from Carly and studied it. “We’re about a hundred feet from my next target,” he said.
“I’m staying back to time the eclipse.” Hannah pointed to the sky. “We’ve got another hour until that happens.”
“So there’s really nothing new? No theories other than the wormhole at this point?” Carly stepped on a dry, crisp twig and it snapped so loudly in the quiet forest that she jumped.
“Afraid not.” Heather pulled her long hair up into a high and tight ponytail. “At this point, watching Rick cross through
the perimeter might help reveal some of that exotic matter that we’re hoping to find more of. Buy us more time.”
“I’ve never crossed the perimeter,” Carly said. There was so much she couldn’t control about the eclipse, she didn’t want
to add another unknown into the mix.
“I can tell you from experience that it doesn’t hurt.” Rick cracked his neck, then his knuckles—a fighter prepping for a match.
“You coming?”
Carly could spend the rest of the day hunting for Adam, or she could step through the bubble and into the next loop, where
he’d be resetting, too. What was the point in spending the next few hours in a state of high anxiety when she could skip to
the good part?
“Would it help to watch me vanish, too?” Carly asked Heather, figuring that might be a better reason to walk ahead.
“Sure.” Heather nodded. “Let Rick go first, and then you can follow after. That way, Rick can test out two points on the map,
right?”
“My lord, this woman gets it.” Rick proudly puffed out his chest.
Carly couldn’t help wonder what their relationship was exactly. But before she could dwell too much, Rick began to walk toward the edge.
“Go in about ten feet to my left once I vanish, okay?” Rick asked.
“Will do.” Really, Carly shouldn’t have been worried. Rick did this same thing almost every loop, as did plenty of other people in town. Still, as she watched Rick vanish, and then began her own steps toward the edge, her anxious ADHD thoughts crept in.
Maybe this time I won’t wake up.
What if Adam returns but I don’t?
Maybe I don’t deserve to come back at all . . .
Carly took in a breath, and an even bigger step, and then there was a weightless snap that made her vision go black.