Chapter 34
34
CRYSTAL
I knew what Gemma was thinking – obviously: she thought I must have told Nicky I was Poppy’s mum. I was sure I didn’t say that – did I? No, Nicky must have just assumed it, and stupidly, it didn’t occur to me that she would do that. Perhaps she recognised me, perhaps she’d seen me in the park years ago and made assumptions, assumed I’d now got a three-year-old little girl. And despite the awkwardness of it, the fact that Gemma was so obviously peeved, and Nicky was embarrassed, I couldn’t help it… just for a few moments I felt a little thrill of excitement. Poppy’s mum. Someone took me for Poppy’s mum. Oh, if only!
But Gemma wasn’t amused, and fair enough. I guessed she was beginning to feel a bit sidelined; after all, it was already becoming obvious that I was Poppy’s favourite person. Poppy preferred me taking her to the park, making her tea and even putting her to bed. I didn’t expect that, didn’t set out for it to happen: it just did, naturally. But of course, it made me happy. How could it not?
As for the woman in the sweet shop: that was another storm in a teacup. I couldn’t understand, to be honest, why Gemma was so upset about it. I didn’t see her – Mandy – as being a gossip, or nosy. She was just concerned, just showing Poppy some love. I thought it was nice of her.
But I realised now that I was going to have to be more careful. I got carried away, sometimes, by the enjoyment of my times with Poppy. The last thing I wanted would be to give Gemma a bad impression – like I’d given both her mum and her dad already. I could imagine that they were talking to Gemma about me, trying to make her suspicious, perhaps trying to persuade her to stop me from seeing Poppy. I couldn’t even bear to think about that. My mental health had improved massively since meeting Gemma and Poppy… apart from after the monthly visits that always set me back. And I knew I’d have a horrendous relapse if Poppy wasn’t part of my life any more. No, I really couldn’t afford to let that happen.