Chapter 30
I’d told myself if I still hadn’t heard from Jade by Friday morning, I’d accept my fate and head back home.
But then Friday morning turned into Saturday morning, and then here we were, Sunday morning.
And I think it was time for me to accept that she wasn’t coming.
I packed my work stuff and the clothes Mom had washed for me while I stayed here.
My parents and I exchanged goodbyes before they left for church, and for the first time in years, I was actually excited to come back and visit them soon.
Locking the front door behind me, I stumbled over to my car. By the time I was in the driver’s seat, the car cranked up and my seatbelt on, it took everything in me not to break out into fresh tears. I was giving up on the dream of her coming here.
Giving up on us.
My heart was breaking again, just sitting here thinking about driving away.
How did someone who was supposed to be my enemy become the greatest love of my life?
I put the car in drive and made it out onto the street.
With a deep exhale, I tried my best to calm my racing heart.
It didn’t help that a Mustang passed me.
One that looked exactly like Jade’s, and when I looked in my rearview mirror, it turned into my parents’ drive.
…
Okay, so not my proudest moment, but I made an illegal U-turn and went back down my parents’ driveway faster than I knew possible.
But when I made it without causing any accidents, and saw that it was in fact Jade stepping out of her car, I almost started crying again.
This time it was tears of joy, just being able to see her again, even if she only came to chew me out, it was so worth breaking those traffic laws.
I put my car in park and tried to jump out of my car gracefully, even though I wanted to run to her.
I knew I needed to let her lead this interaction, tell me exactly what made her come here before I assumed anything.
She looked so pretty in one of her oversized band tees and jeans with her long dark hair up in her signature messy bun. I’d missed seeing her like this. My sweetheart, my love.
“You came,” I stated, realizing begging for her forgiveness on my knees was too much.
“I didn’t think you’d still be here. But I hoped—,” she cut off then, her words making me feel both overjoyed and embarrassed. I’d been here just waiting for her for way too long. I knew it, she knew it, hell, even Britney knew it.
“I was on my way out actually, but then I saw your car and I…” I let my sentence die there, thinking the rest was pretty obvious. “I’m glad you came, Jade.” My voice was shaky, but I got the words out.
"I’m still pissed at you, Libby." She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me a stern look. Her mossy green eyes looked glassy in the mid-morning sunlight.
“You have every right to be. I’m still mad at me, too.” So fucking mad!
“I need you to promise me something,” she said cryptically, making me feel anxious and flushed.
“Anything,” I said without thought. I would do anything for her—no regrets, no second thoughts.
“You can’t hurt me again. I don’t care what Jana says about us or whatever bullshit she makes you feel guilty about.
I need to know that I can trust you with my heart.
Because despite how mad I am at you, I still love you.
And I know that you’re a fucking people-pleasing, self-deprecating, bleeding heart, but you have to think about yourself.
You have to think about us before you just agree to things.
I need you to put your feelings and my feelings above others’.
Do you think you could do that for me, princess? ”
I wanted to fucking kiss her, to explode with the overwhelming, overstimulating combination of feelings flying through me in this moment.
I started nodding aggressively, unable to speak after hearing her call me princess, after hearing her say that she still wanted to be an us with me. Fuck, I was about to sob again.
“Use your words,” she ordered me, brows rising as if in challenge.
"I—," cutting myself off, I thought about what I should say. I wanted to tell her I'd never hurt her again, but that felt like a lie. Maybe it was what she needed to hear, wanted to hear, but it wasn't true.
"I can't promise that, Jade. Don't get me wrong; I don't want to hurt you.
But I'm not perfect, and I'm still trying to unlearn the behavior that got me here.
The behavior that made me think choosing Jana was the morally correct thing to do, when it was the opposite of what I wanted.
" I sighed, fidgeting with my hair before I continued.
"What I will promise you is that I won't hide anything from you.
I won't ghost you just because I fear the consequences.
And I won't allow Jana or anyone to make me choose anymore.
I'll do everything I can to think of your feelings and my feelings before acting. "
Her intense gaze was on me, staring in silence as she processed what I'd said.
“Okay, that's…that's good,” she spoke, her arms falling to her sides and expression losing some of its tension.
"I still love you too, Jade," I spoke, realizing I hadn't returned her sentiment.
Taking a step towards me, I did the same until we were face to face.
She pulled me in, and I wrapped myself around her, burying my face in her neck and breathing in her woodsy amber scent.
My eyes rolled back in my head at her smell, the feel of her toned body against mine, her silky smooth hair against my cheek.
She was hugging me tight, as if she were just as scared as I was that this moment would be ripped away from us.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered through my tears against her neck, leaving kisses there and somehow tightening my embrace. She felt like home, like heaven, like safety. “I missed you so much,” I told her with my broken, shaky voice.
“I missed you too. And I’m still mad at you, but I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.
I don’t want to hurt anymore. And even though you deserve it, I don’t want you to hurt anymore either.
” Her voice was shaky too, and when I leaned back to lock onto her green eyes, they were red and puffy from her tears.
Moving my hands up to her face, I wiped them off her cheeks, wanting to begin mending any pain I caused, even if it was only a minuscule step toward doing so. My hands stayed there, holding her perfect, flushed face with care. My love, my sweet, forgiving, understanding love.
“May I kiss you?” I asked, not wanting to overstep when I was finally in her arms again.
Without a reply, her lips were on mine, her tongue already seeking entrance into my mouth.
I kissed her back with the same force, the same pure need to just be with her, as close as was humanly possible.
My hands moved to her hair, gripping the soft strands firmly.
Her hands still had a tight, forceful hold around my back, not moving an inch.
I was moaning into her mouth with every stroke of her tongue against mine.
It was the best feeling I’d ever experienced.
My whole body was lit up at her touch, her embrace, having craved nothing else for so long.
“Fuck,” Jade whispered against my lips as I panted for her tongue to return.
I didn’t care that we were outside in broad daylight; I needed her.
Now! She backed me up against my driver’s side door, moving her arms to slide her hands down the sides of my waist, then under my shirt until she was cupping my breasts through my bra.
Letting out an embarrassingly loud moan, I wrapped my arms around her neck until her mouth was back against mine.
Her taste. I had missed her sweet taste so much alone.
I needed more. I needed anything and everything she would give me.
“Can we go inside?” She asked between kisses down my jaw and neck.
I was glad she had enough sense to care about us being outside, where my parents might drive up at any moment.
Just because I'd realized they were more accepting than I thought didn't mean they'd want to see Jade and me making out in the driveway.
But she was so distracting that it was hard to remember that.
"My parents will be back soon. Can we go to your place?" I asked, hoping it wasn't too presumptuous. She may still need space, and that was totally understandable.
Pulling back, she looked down at me with a vibrant smile. My heart leaped at the sight of her happiness.
"Yeah, princess. Let's go."