Chapter 10 #2
“Hey, hey,” he said, scooting closer to Nikky and reaching for him.
“I get it,” he said, pulling Nikky into his arms. The younger man felt damn good tucked against him, especially when he managed to half wrap himself around Harry, even in their awkward positions, and rest his forehead against Harry’s shoulder.
“You’re right,” Harry went on, rubbing Nikky’s back slowly. “Life is hard, and a lot of the time it sucks. And it doesn’t come with an instruction manual. But, yeah, everyone expects us to know what we’re doing and to have it all together.”
“I don’t,” Nikky said, the words muffled against Harry’s shoulder. “I don’t know how to do any of this, and it scares me.”
Fuck, just when Harry thought his heart was as soft as it could be for Nikky, he went and said something like that.
“I’ve got you,” he said, turning his head so he could kiss the side of Nikky’s.
The kiss didn’t stop there. He shifted so he could kiss Nikky’s temple, then moved more so he could clasp Nikky’s head firmly in his hands. He kissed his forehead and his cheek, then brushed his thumbs over Nikky’s cheeks while checking in his eyes to see what sort of signals were there.
Nikky gazed back at him with half-lidded, slightly glassy eyes, like he didn’t know whether he wanted to cry on Harry’s shoulder or dive down to suck his cock. Maybe it made him a terrible human being, but Harry’s pulse kicked up at both possibilities.
He leaned in, brushing his lips carefully against Nikky’s, eager to see how the young man would react. If he pushed Harry away and put distance between them, Harry wouldn’t take things any further.
Nikky sucked in a breath and grabbed Harry’s sides, digging his fingertips into Harry’s flesh under his shirt. He surged in and slanted his mouth over Harry’s in a kiss that was every bit as powerful as the one at the club, despite Nikky being stone sober.
Harry couldn’t resist a kiss like that. He moaned to show his appreciation and returned Nikky’s ardor with twice as much of his own.
What should have been a comforting smack of lips between friends roared into an inferno before any wiser thoughts could take hold in Harry’s mind.
He brushed his tongue against Nikky’s as Nikky thrust into his mouth, and explored the young man like he was the sweetest treat imaginable.
He even dropped one hand to Nikky’s backside and pulled him as close as they could get on the sofa.
“Take me to bed,” Nikky gasped as they took a break for air. He met Harry’s eyes so intensely that Harry almost needed to look away.
“Are you sure?” Harry asked, sounding equally wrecked already.
Nikky nodded. “I’ve wanted to right from the very beginning, but I didn’t know how to ask.”
That took Harry’s breath away. He’d been an idiot to assume every guy was as uninhibited as he was, or as experienced.
It had never dawned on him that Nikky might not know how to initiate sex or ask for what he wanted.
But the more he got to know the younger man, the more he could see gaps in Nikky’s experience and knowledge.
“Okay,” he said, stroking the side of Nikky’s face as he studied the man to make certain he was serious. “I’ve wanted it, too,” he confessed.
Nikky let out a huge breath of relief. “Really?”
Harry chuckled. “Honey, have you looked at yourself lately? Fuck.”
Nikky smiled and blushed, then glanced down in the sweetest, most self-effacing way.
Harry was a goner. He wondered if he would ever be able to let Nikky go.
That thought was raw and shocking enough to push him out of the bubble of horny sentimentality he’d fallen into. He drew in a breath and pulled away from Nikky, standing and offering him a hand.
“I’m assuming you’ll want to shower first and clean up before we get started?” he asked.
Nikky nodded tightly as he stood, not quite looking Harry in the eyes. “Yeah,” he said, breathless and clearly excited.
“You know where the bathroom is.” Harry nodded down the hall, leading Nikky around the sofa, their hands still joined. “I’ll just get a few things in order while you do that.”
“Okay.”
Nikky hurried down the hall and disappeared into the bathroom. Harry smiled after him, then shook his head as he veered off and headed into his bedroom. This was probably a mistake. Things were way too volatile all around for the two of them to take their relationship horizontal.
At the same time, why not? They were both adults with minds of their own. Harry had hooked up with guys he’d known for far shorter lengths of time, or not really known at all. Sex was sex. It was fun and felt good. It was even better when you liked and cared about the guy you were with.
Those were all excuses and he knew it. As he pulled down the covers on his bed, made sure condoms and lube were at the ready, and peeled out of his clothes, he knew what they were doing was so much more momentous than a casual hook-up.
You’re getting in over your head, a voice inside him whispered. This is going to change everything.
And what was wrong with that? Harry argued with the voice. He liked Nikky. Nikky liked him. Why shouldn’t they be involved for real?
Ten minutes later, Nikky walked hesitantly into Harry’s bedroom, hair wet, skin pink, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Harry, who was already in bed with the duvet pulled up to hide his suddenly very interested erection, grinned at him.
Until Nikky said, “Where is the camera?”
It was another punch in the gut. Was that all this was?
“Is that what you want?” he asked instead.
“I thought—” Nikky stopped, seeming to shrink in on himself as he fiddled anxiously with the top of his towel.
What could it hurt, Harry asked himself.
“I’ve got it,” he said, throwing back the bedcovers and getting out of bed.
Nikky’s eyes went wide as he drank in an eyeful of Harry’s naked body.
Harry couldn’t help but grin and preen a little as he hurried past him and into the hall.
He might be in his mid-thirties, but he took damn good care of himself.
His vanity wouldn’t let him look anything but hot, even if no one was looking at him.
He headed back to the main room to grab his phone from the sofa, then ducked into his music room to fetch the stand he’d bought ages ago so he could record himself playing new material.
Once he returned to the bedroom, his heart nearly stopped. Nikky had ditched the towel and lay on the bed, looking like a dream.
“Fuck,” Harry blurted, raking his eyes over Nikky’s porn-perfect body and inviting position.
Nikky blushed up a storm. “I’m trying not to be self-conscious,” he explained.
“Whatever you’re doing, it’s working for me,” Harry said as he moved to set the phone stand up at one corner of the bed.
It was the simplest set-up imaginable, but it didn’t seem to matter. Harry had everything up and running in no time.
“You’re sure you want to do this?” he asked one last time.
Nikky nodded. “I’m sure that I want you,” he said, his voice breathy and excited.
It was a bad, bad idea. Truly terrible. On several levels. Not just the recording, but taking advantage of Nikky in a moment of weakness.
But it didn’t feel like anyone was taking advantage of anyone when Nikky reached for his cock and started slowly stroking it to full hardness while smiling almost angelically at Harry. With the man’s chiseled body and curly blond hair, he looked like the dirtiest angel ever.
“Fuck,” Harry hissed one last time before tapping record on his phone.
“Come here,” Nikky said as soon as they were recording, like a director had called “Action” and he was going with the flow.
One last voice of reason warned Harry to slam the brakes, knowing that once they got going, he wouldn’t be able to stop. Ever.
“You look amazing,” he said as he slipped comfortably into bed with Nikky. “I want you so bad.”
His lines were worthy of an eyeroll, but it didn’t matter. As soon as Harry’s body slid against Nikky’s warm, firm one, it was over.