Chapter 14 #2
Glen was one of his agents, the one who handled the film and television part of his career.
Nikky had seen a few missed calls from the man, but too many other things had been going on for him to call back or even listen to the voicemails.
He had far too many voicemails to listen to anyhow, and they all terrified him.
“You remember that Lubavitch script he sent you back in April?” Charlotte asked.
Nikky caught his breath. “I remember,” he said, his heart thumping faster.
Peter Lubavitch was an award-winning director, and the script was for an intense psychological thriller that already had Oscar buzz, even though it hadn’t even been cast yet.
Nikky had sent in a taped audition for the gritty, lead role right after Cooked had wrapped, but he hadn’t heard anything back.
“Well, when he couldn’t get in touch with you, Glen called me,” Charlotte went on. “He knows I’m here in London with you. Lubavitch wants you for the role of Silas. He thinks you’d be perfect for it.”
Nikky sat down hard on the sofa, the wind knocked out of him. “He…does?”
“Yep,” Charlotte said. “He loved your audition, but if you ask me, what he loves even more is your celebrity and all the attention you will bring to the part. I also think it was those naughty pics splashed all over social media that sealed the deal for him. I had a conversation with Glen about the whole thing yesterday, and he implied that Lubavitch was on the fence and thought you were too pure and squeaky-clean, then he saw you with nipple clamps and that did it.”
If Nikky hadn’t just sat down, his knees would have given out from under him. “That’s…wow.” He couldn’t even put together words anymore.
“Do you want to call Glen and tell him you’ll take a meeting with Lubavitch to seal the deal or does this day off you’re taking mean you want me to do it for you?”
Charlotte’s question left Nikky’s mind completely blank.
This wasn’t the way things were supposed to go.
He’d intended to build up the music part of his career and downplay the acting part.
Music was more anonymous. It was safer. People would only hear him without seeing him.
Acting was a thousand times more visible and vulnerable.
Yes, famous musicians were just as much in the spotlight as actors, but it was easier for them to hide.
On the other hand, starring in a Peter Lubavitch film would shift his image from the cute singer with a sexy body that everyone had seen on TV to serious actor with award potential. A film like that could mean he would be celebrated for his talent, not objectified for his golden boy looks.
Instead of being too tainted for someone like Holberg to chase after and blackmail, he might end up too lofty for Holberg to get anywhere near him. Instead of ruining his image so Holberg didn’t care about him anymore, he could end up too famous for Holberg to touch.
“Nikky? Are you there?” Charlotte asked.
Nikky cleared his throat, then said, “Yeah, I’m just taking it all in.”
Charlotte laughed. “It is a lot to take in,” she agreed.
Harry walked into the room. As soon as he saw Nikky’s overwhelmed expression, he returned it with a questioning one of his own, then sat on the other end of the sofa from Nikky.
“So what do you want me to tell Glen?” Charlotte went on. “Or do you want to call him yourself?”
Nikky swallowed and tried to work saliva back into his mouth. “Could you call him?” he asked, knowing damn well he sounded way too small and terrified for a star who was about to get even bigger. “Call him and tell him I’m very interested.”
“I’d love to,” Charlotte said, the smile evident in her voice. “I’ve been dying to one-up Glen for a long time.”
Nikky had no idea how to react to that statement other than to wonder once again if Harry was right about him needing a better team to represent him, one that didn’t see him as a piece in some other game. But that was a problem for another time.
“I’ll call Albion and tell him you’ve got other things on your plate today,” Charlotte said as they said their goodbyes. “You leave everything to me, kid, okay?”
“Thanks, Charlotte,” Nikky said, then ended the call. As he did, he stared at Harry.
Harry waited a few seconds, but when Nikky said nothing, he said, “I take it that call was about more than calling in sick to work.”
Nikky nodded. “I’ve just been offered the lead role in a Peter Lubavitch thriller.”
Harry stared at him, clearly not understanding the importance of the role. “That’s great,” he said.
Nikky swallowed. “It has potential to be more than great,” he said, his voice coming out thin and hoarse. “Lubavitch is a big deal, and his films are gritty and raw.”
“That’s the sort of project you want to be involved in, right?” Harry said, his smile holding more understanding.
Nikky nodded, but another thought occurred to him. “It would mean I’d film in L.A.,” he said. “If my acting career grows bigger than my music career, it means I’d need to be based in LA.”
A flicker of tension passed through Harry’s expression. “Is that what you want?” he asked.
Nikky almost blurted out, “I want to be with you.” The only thing that held him back was the fear that Harry would laugh at him and tell him a career as a famous movie star was miles more important than a brand spanking new relationship.
It wasn’t. Yes, Nikky had always wanted a career in entertainment, but he’d wanted beautiful, safe, solid relationships even more.
“I don’t know what I want,” he confessed.
Saying that out loud felt like defeat. It felt like he’d worked his fingers to the bone and climbed an impossible mountain, only to somehow, inexplicably, find himself right back at the bottom of the mountain all over again.
“I just want to be happy.” That was the only truth he knew for certain.
“Hey.” Harry scooted closer and pulled Nikky into his embrace. “We all just want to be happy. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Nikky rested his head on Harry’s shoulder. That was where he wanted to be, right there, in Harry’s arms. He would have happily given up both high-profile careers to stay right there, where he felt safe.
But that was ridiculous and improbable. He barely knew Harry. They’d been thrown together by an impersonal agency so he could pretend to be doing something salacious to turn people off. That whole thing had been a stupid idea, but the results of it had given him everything he’d always dreamed of.
So what was his dream now? How could he have the career he’d always wanted and the love and connection he’d ached for even longer than he’d wanted his career?
“You know you don’t have to decide anything about anything right now,” Harry said, rubbing his back and kissing his forehead. “You’re skiving off work and taking a day for yourself. Focus on that and ignore everything else, even this new film offer.”
Nikky sat up and looked deeply into Harry’s eyes. “I can do that?”
Harry laughed. “Of course you can. And to kick everything off, why don’t we ignore everything else and go make some music together.” He stood, then offered Nikky a hand to pull him up from the sofa.
Nikky’s mouth twitched into a smile. “I’ve just had a shower,” he said. “And I’m a little full from breakfast. Maybe we should wait a bit to make music.”
Harry laughed. The sound was full-throated and wonderful. “Not that kind of music, princess,” he said, shaking his head as he tugged Nikky toward a door that Nikky thought was a closet. “I’m talking about actual music.”
As soon as Harry pushed the door open, Nikky’s mouth dropped.
There wasn’t a closet on the other side of the door like he’d assumed, there was an entire room that Nikky could only describe as a music room.
It held several guitars, a keyboard, and other instruments, not to mention recording equipment.
“Has this been here all along?” he asked, stepping into the room and looking around in wonder.
“Yes,” Harry said, laughing as he crossed the room to pick up an acoustic guitar. “I should have shown you sooner, but better late than never, right?”
“Yeah,” Nikky said, gazing around distractedly.
Harry grinned at him, probably thinking he was ridiculous, but Nikky didn’t care. He grabbed another acoustic guitar, then took a seat on the stool Harry nodded at.
“Let’s make some beautiful music together,” Harry said as they sat opposite each other, both in their element.
A thousand different emotions swirled through Nikky as the two of them started to play random chords that eventually blended together into an original melody.
It was everything he’d ever wanted, but it had been handed to him at the same time as everything else he’d sought after since his first audition.
Life hadn’t taken things away from him, like he’d first thought.
I’d given him far too much, and any second now, it would force him to make an impossible choice, love or career?