Chapter 19
nineteen
. . .
Harry had tried to break up with him. That truth buzzed around Nikky’s insides, making him miles less confident than he was trying to seem on the outside as they said goodbye to Maggie and Laura, to whom he owed a lot, dressed for a music industry party, and headed out.
Harry drove them to the posh hotel where the party was taking place, which surprised Nikky.
He hadn’t been aware Harry even owned a car.
There were a lot of things about Harry that he hadn’t been aware of, as he was just discovering.
He hadn’t been aware that Harry had a frightened part of himself that lashed out when it thought he was cornered.
He hadn’t been aware that Harry was hurt by the way the music industry had treated him as well as just angry.
That was another thing Maggie and Laura had helped him to see.
All of it added up to the certainty that it was long past time for him to stop waiting around for other people to validate his life and protect him from the things he feared in the world. It was time for him to be the protector and the one who got things done for other people.
“You know that whatever threats Holberg made, I don’t care, right?” he said as Harry circled through the parking garage, searching for a space. He could have handed his car over to the valet at the door, but Nikky had the impression he wanted to delay their arrival at the party as long as possible.
Harry remained uncomfortably silent until he found a parking spot. Once in, he cut his car’s engine and stared at Nikky.
Stared, but didn’t say anything for far too long.
Finally, he blew out a breath and said, “I’ll find a way to deal with Holberg and Albion.”
Nikky waited for more, but it didn’t come.
Then the full impact of what he’d said clicked.
“Holberg and Albion?” he asked, brows shooting up.
Harry winced like he’d given away a surprise birthday party. “I’ll take care of it,” he said, then got out of the car.
Nikky remained frozen for a few seconds before exiting the car. “Holberg and Albion,” he repeated. “Do they know each other? Are they working together somehow? Why would a producer as big as Albion want anything to do with a pond scum entertainment journalist?”
Nikky walked around the car to Harry as he headed for the elevator bank at the end of the garage, but instead of answering, Harry just sent him a pained sideways look. He didn’t answer as they walked, and he didn’t answer as they waited for the elevator to arrive.
It was like someone had already trapped him in an elevator that was flying up and down, out of control, and leaving his stomach far behind.
The elevator arrived and the doors slid open, but before they could step inside, Nikky grabbed Harry’s arm.
“What aren’t you telling me?” he asked, deadly serious.
Pure panic flooded through Harry’s expression. Nikky was sure he’d finally break down and tell him everything, but another, chatty couple walked their way and ended up joining them in the elevator once they stepped in.
“Please, just tell me,” Nikky whispered as they whooshed down to the hotel lobby.
Harry’s wordless answer was a tight sigh and a look of fear and vulnerability that melted Nikky’s heart.
Once they reached the lobby, Nikky tried to linger near the elevator in the hope that Harry would finally confess. But that hope was dashed when Drew and Lee strode over from the center of the lobby.
“Hey!” Drew greeted him with his widest, most charming smile, pulling Nikky into his arms for a warm hug. Nikky needed that hug like he needed air and squeezed his best friend back. “What are you doing coming out of the elevator. Get back in there. The party is on the twentieth floor.”
“We just got here,” Nikky said, letting Drew sweep him and Harry back into the elevator as Lee pushed the twenty button.
“Good. So did we,” Drew said, energized and ready for the party.
“Hello,” Lee introduced himself to Harry quietly. “I’m Lee Cresswell, Drew’s boyfriend.”
“Harry Bayonne.” Harry shook the man’s hand, his expression as threatening as a caged tiger.
Lee exchanged a look with Drew that made Nikky wonder what the two of them already knew about Harry, about their relationship, and about the predicament they were in.
“This party is supposed to be huge,” Drew said as they sped up, making Nikky go cold and prickly.
“It’s more of a networking event than a party, so make sure you talk to as many people as possible.
More producers than just Albion will be here.
” He winked like he understood just how deeply uncomfortable Nikky had grown with the album he was recording.
“I bet you could find all sorts of producers to work with to record a comeback album,” Lee told Harry with sweet enthusiasm. “I know I’d buy whatever you put out. Love on the Line was one of my favorite songs back in the day.”
Nikky peeked quickly at Harry. Lee wasn’t trying to be offensive, but there was no telling how Harry would react with the mood he was in. Nikky even went so far as to reach for his hand and to brush the back of Harry’s knuckles lightly with a finger as the elevator doors opened.
He felt Harry tense, but that could have had more to do with the rush of voices and the music behind it as they stepped out into the penthouse entertainment space.
“Let’s dazzle these motherfuckers,” Drew said, walking out into the party with a look of triumph on his face.
“I’ll keep him in line,” Lee told Nikky with a lopsided smile before following after.
That left Nikky and Harry alone at the edge of the party. For a few fast, thumping heartbeats, Nikky had no idea what to do. The awkwardness between them ballooned instead of settling down as the party atmosphere reached for them and tried to suck them in.
“I guess we should make the rounds,” Nikky said, taking a deep breath then starting forward.
“Wait.” Harry caught him by the arm and held him. When Nikky turned back to him, Harry looked like he was about to explode. “There’s something you should know,” he said.
A paradoxical sense of peace settled over Nikky. Finally, answers.
Answers that he wasn’t going to get.
“Nikky! There you are.” Charlotte stepped forward from the crowd, a cocktail of some sort in one hand. “I’ve been waiting for you. You have to come talk to Colin Nell. You know Colin Nell, right? He’s a fantastic producer who works out of New York, but he’s in London recording with Kelly Bevan!”
Before Nikky could react, Charlotte grabbed his hand and tugged him away from Harry.
The gesture knocked him off balance in more ways than one. He twisted to glance back at Harry, begging him not to leave him on his own with a look.
For a heart-stopping second, it looked like Harry would do just that. He watched Nikky, his feet planted to the ground. Regret seemed to blanket him, and Nikky was certain he would turn back to the elevator and run.
When he started forward, catching up to Nikky’s side and touching his hand in the same way Nikky had tried to comfort him in the elevator, immense relief filled him.
For half a minute at most.
“Nikky Smith,” the slick-looking, middle-aged man Charlotte introduced to him as Colin Nell greeted him with a wolfish smile. “What a pleasure to meet you at last. Everyone who’s anyone is all abuzz with your accomplishments these days.”
“Yours and Drew Oberlin’s,” the fashionably dressed woman glued to his side added.
She glanced around, eyes hungry, and said, “I thought I saw him here tonight. Did the two of you come together?” Her eyes flashed back to Nikky with all the inuendo he’d thought had died in the spring when Drew announced he was together with Lee.
“No, I’m here with Harry,” Nikky said, boldly taking Harry’s hand.
At least, he tried to. Harry raised his hand to rub his neck, seemingly randomly.
The avoidant gesture left Nikky bereft and worried, until Colin Nell huffed with laughter and looked down his nose at Harry.
“The shooting star of the moment and the faded asteroid of yesteryear,” he said, like he thought the juxtaposition was hilarious.
“You sure know who to hang out with, don’t you, Harry.
” The man clapped Harry on the shoulder like he was some wide-eyed kid who would think the gesture was great.
He was damn well going to set the record straight.
“Harry is my—”
“Nikky is working with Dean Albion on an album right now,” Charlotte blurted, stopping him dead.
“Is that so?” Nell asked, his expression bored.
“Yes,” Charlotte answered. “And once recording is finished, Nikky is headed back to L.A. to film a Toni McGovern film.” That earned a chorus of impressed noises from Nell, the woman with him, and the three other people who had scooted closer as soon as they noticed Nikky so that they could be included.
“He’s also just had an offer from Peter Lubavitch. ”
The impressed sounds turned even louder.
Nikky hated it. He felt like a prize pony Charlotte was showing off. The well-dressed partygoers with their flashy jewelry and caked-on make-up weren’t interested in him as much as the aura that people had created around him.
“Can I get a selfie with you?” the woman with Nell asked, breaking away from him to fish her phone out of her bejeweled clutch.
“I loved you in Cooked,” she added as she moved to stand by Nikky’s side, touching him before he’d given her the okay.
She pushed Harry out of the way as she did.
“Your arse alone was worth the subscription price for the streaming service,” she laughed.
Nikky acted his way into his best smile, though inside frustration and offense warred with his usual anxiety and desperation to please.
What was the point of bending over backwards to make people like the woman who had her arm around him and her hand a little too low on his back happy when the person he really cared about, Harry, was being pushed farther and farther to the side?