Chapter 19 #3
Harry glanced slowly up at him from where he’d lowered his head. All the answer Nikky needed was in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said. “The whole thing got out of hand before I had a chance to tell you.”
“How long have you known?” Nikky asked, his voice shaking.
“Since this morning,” Harry said.
All day, and he hadn’t said a word. Vivid video of Nikky’s ass in the air, being fucked silly, and the whole world would see it now, and Harry hadn’t said a thing.
“I need—” Nikky started, but he didn’t know what he needed.
He glanced desperately around like the walls were closing in on him, then spotted Drew and Lee at the other side of the room, laughing with a group of younger people who looked vaguely familiar, like they were famous.
He needed Drew, his friend. “Excuse me,” he croaked out, then bolted from the conversation.
He didn’t get more than a few steps away before Harry came after him.
“Nikky, I’m sorry,” he said, grabbing Nikky’s arm to stop him. “I panicked. I thought I could handle the whole thing myself and you’d never know. I was trying to protect you from getting upset.”
Nikky had no doubt that his lover was telling the truth. It was just like Harry to go out of his way to protect him. But in the process, he’d made him even more vulnerable.
“You should have told me,” he said, so many emotions flooding him that he felt numb. “The second you found out, you should have told me.”
“I know.” Harry’s shoulders dropped, and he lowered his head, rubbing a hand over his face. “I was absolutely wrong in every way.”
“I’m not as fragile as you think I am.”
Nikky blinked at his own words. They weren’t what he thought he’d been about to say.
He’d wanted to tell Harry off and yell at him, not just for keeping desperately important secrets from him, but for every fucking thing that had made him cower in fear for his entire life.
It all coalesced into a ball of flame in his stomach that threatened to consume him.
Life had been unfair to him, and he was done letting it walk all over him.
He opened his mouth to vent his rage at Harry, but it was Albion’s voice that sounded above the conversations and ambient music in the room. “Ladies and gentlemen,” the bastard called out. “If I could have your attention, I have an announcement to make.”
The room went quiet a little too fast, like Albion was some sort of king that everyone felt the need to bow down to. The DJ even turned off the music.
“I have an exciting announcement about an album I’m producing and about the new pop star that’s about to be launched into the firmament, Nikky Smith,” Albion continued.
All eyes in the room turned to Nikky as sounds of surprise and delight replaced the music for a moment. Whispers followed. Someone nearby said, “I thought he was already a massive television star.”
“Nikky and I have been working together now on an album that will feature songs by Charlie Darling and some of the other ace songwriters of the modern pop scene,” Albion went on.
“We’re doing a complete overhaul of Nikky’s image.
Nikky will be so much more than Hollywood’s golden boy of the hour, he will be the world’s golden boy from here on out. ”
The room erupted with smiles, applause, and delight. At least from most people. A few seemed confused. Charlotte had her lips pressed together in consternation. Drew looked irritated on Nikky’s behalf.
Worst of all, Harry took a few steps back, like he wanted to fade into the woodwork.
It was all wrong. Every set of eyes on him and every vapid smile that came his way was completely wrong. None of it was what Nikky wanted. He had no idea how he’d landed himself in such a horrible, constricting place in his life.
No, that wasn’t true. He’d ended up where he was, in that moment and in life, by twisting himself into knots so that someone, anyone, might accept him and care for him and fill the void of love that had yawned open when his mom had handed him over to foster care.
“This isn’t what I want,” he whispered to himself.
None of it was. The whole reason he’d fled L.A.
for London, the reason he’d contacted Rent-A-Boyfriend in the hope someone else could take a stand and destroy the box he’d ended up trapped in was because he didn’t want the life he’d made for himself by bowing to other people’s wishes to make them love him like he needed to be loved.
There was only one person who could love him and heal him that way.
Himself.
“That’s not what I want,” he said a little louder, taking a step forward.
The crowd had been too busy celebrating him to hear him, but as he moved and spoke, they hushed until the room was almost silent. Albion was smiling, but his grin dropped as Nikky took a deep breath.
“We haven’t discussed or finalized any of this,” he spoke loudly and clearly, to the room at large at first, and then to Albion directly.
“I haven’t agreed to any of this,” he said, squaring his shoulders as he stood up for himself.
“In fact, I want out of this contract. It’s been a disaster working with you, and I’m done. ”