Chapter 19 #2
“Thanks. I really like it.” I got it at a little antique shop shortly after I moved here.
I didn’t bring a lot of furniture with me since most of what I had with Ian was his.
Every time I tried to add my own touch to our place, he’d wrinkle his nose and suggest something different.
It somehow felt like we were both compromising at the time, but when it came time to divvy up our stuff, I realized how little of myself was actually in that apartment.
Almost all the furniture was something he’d chosen.
Even when I contributed to it, it wasn’t my style or my taste.
I told him he could keep it all if he gave me a lump sum to buy me out.
He grumbled about it, but ultimately realized it was a better deal than trying to replace half the furniture and gave in.
That’s what I used to furnish this place, mostly from antique and second hand stores, though I splurged on my purple velvet couch.
Ian would never, in a million years. But Aaron didn’t even blink at it.
My whole vibe is girly and romantic, and I love it. But once I got started working, I didn’t have as much time to shop for wall art, and I’ve had a hard time with that. It’s been difficult to decide what I really like versus what I feel like I’ve been conditioned to like.
Buying the purple couch and white tables felt almost rebellious, like I was fighting back against what Ian would’ve wanted. At the time, it felt good. Like, really good.
But after that? I sort of ran out of steam. I’d look at prints and artwork, and I liked some of it, but some part of me kept hesitating to get anything, so here I am with furniture but little else.
“The sledding spot shouldn’t take more than ten minutes to get to from here,” Aaron says, and I realize I’ve been lost in my own thoughts.
“Oh, that’s not bad then.”
“Nope. So take as long as you need to get ready. We aren’t in a big rush.”
I grin. “How new and different for us.”
His grin is a little sheepish. “I’m sorry about that. With Colin—”
“You don’t need to apologize,” I say, interrupting him. “I get it. Well, I mean, not from experience, obviously. But of course you have to take care of your son. I would think less of you if you didn’t.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
I wave away his thanks. “I’ve seen you around town with him. He’s a cute kid.”
His grin grows wide again. “He really is. He’s in kindergarten now, and he’s learned so much in just the last few months.
He’s reading, which is amazing. He was really close before, asking me what things said all summer long and looking like he was trying to commit the words to memory.
So he recognized some words already before starting school, but now?
” He shakes his head. “Every day, he’s reading more words.
Pretty soon, he’ll be reading me the bedtime stories. ”
Chuckling, I sip my coffee, letting him talk about his son. As cute as his kid is, Aaron’s pretty adorable when he’s all lit up like he is, telling me all about Colin’s accomplishments.
After several minutes of gushing about his son, he gives me another sheepish grin. “Sorry. You probably don’t want to hear about my son that much.”
I shrug. “I don’t mind. He’s important to you.
It’d be weird if you didn’t talk about him, I think.
” Shaking my head, I set my now empty mug on the coffee table.
“I have to confess that I’ve never dated a parent before,” I raise my hands palms up, “so I’m not entirely sure of the protocols or expectations.
But it seems like listening to you tell me about your son, at least sometimes, would be a normal thing. To me, at least.”
He sets his mug down, too. “Honestly, I’ve never dated as a parent before, either, so I’m not sure of the expectations and protocols either.
” He flips his hand palm up, placing it between us on the couch.
“I think,” he says slowly, “that we get to figure a lot of those things out for ourselves. The most important part, for me at least, is that if and when you meet Colin, you’re nice to him. ”
Laughing, I shake my head. “I think I can manage that. That’s not exactly a high bar.”
He looks at me, eyebrows raised. “You’d think that, wouldn’t you?
But you’d be surprised at the number of people who are jerks to kids for no particular reason.
And I get it, kids can be annoying sometimes, but Colin’s polite and friendly.
If a kid says hi to you at the grocery store, why can’t you just say hi back?
It’s not like speaking to a five-year-old will somehow do you harm. ”
Brow furrowed, I nod. “That does seem like a pretty reasonable thing to me too. If I encounter children out in the world—and I do a lot, especially working here now—unless they’re doing something dangerous or bad like unplugging the Christmas trees or breaking things, I just smile and wave at them or say hi if they say hi to me. ”
“Right? Exactly. It’s not that hard, is it?”
“No,” I laugh. “It’s really not.”
“Good,” he says like we’ve established something important. And maybe for him we have.
“Okay. I promise that if I ever meet Colin, whether in a formal, ‘I’m dating your dad’ type situation or just if I bump into the two of you around town, I’ll be nice to him.”
“Thank you.” His smile is far too full of relief for my liking. “Otherwise, that’s my only real expectation. He has a mom, so you don’t need to fill in there or anything, and I wouldn’t expect you to.”
My breath catches at that statement. “Okay,” I say slowly.
“Good to know.” The thought hadn’t even occurred to me that I might be in any sort of mom-type role, though I guess if we get serious and I’m around Colin a lot, that might become a thing.
It’s nice to know no one expects that, though.
I’m not sure I’m ready for that at this point anyway.
But that does bring me to another question … “Do you want more kids?”
He looks at me, surprised. “Um, I hadn’t thought about it a lot. Maybe? I’m not categorically opposed to the idea—with the right person, of course. I’d prefer not to be in the same kind of situation I’m in with Colin’s mom a second time.”
“Makes sense,” I murmur.
“It’s not a thing I desperately want, no. But if I end up in a serious relationship with someone”—he gestures toward me—“and she wants kids, or a kid, of her own as well, then I’m open to the idea.”
“I’m not sure if I want to have a baby,” I say, answering the unasked question. “I’m not anti-kid or anything.”
“Good,” he murmurs, and I smile.
“Yeah. It’d be awkward between us if I were, wouldn’t it?”
He chuckles. “Yeah.”