14. Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fourteen
Summer
Mom’s funeral ended over an hour ago. I couldn’t get myself to come home right away, needing to take the time to breathe—to think. I have spent the last hour walking around town, drowning myself in music. It seemed like the appropriate way to get out of the box my mind has trapped me in.
I’d certainly rather be trapped in the lyrics of the music than my thoughts that are consuming every cell in my brain.
Chloe offered to stay with me, but what good would that do? Her company has been and always will be the best company I could ever have, but I wouldn’t be happy with myself if I dragged my best friend down along with me.
I need to clear my head and gather myself so I can figure out what I’m going to do about my father potentially being part of the reason my mother is dead.
I’m not positive what those officers said was true, but the only way I’m going to find out the truth is if I take it upon myself to figure it out… even if that means sneaking around my father to do so.
Except, right now, I do not have a single clue how I’m going to manage that.
But the one thing I do know is that I need to keep Chloe out of this because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if she were to get in trouble—or worse.
Walking into my bedroom doesn’t feel the same anymore. I take two steps inside before my eyes fall on the gift Chloe gave me this morning. A sudden sting in my chest grows. I should have had her at least meet me here so I could open this with her.
I think about all the times Chloe has given me gifts, and I smile. It’s never been about how much money she spends. It’s always the thought that counts. Every time I had a rough day growing up, she’d give me something silly to make me smile.
My favorite gift I’ve gotten from her was a simple drawing she did for me. Chloe is the worst artist I have ever met, and I mean that with the kindest part of my heart. But there was just something about the potato-shaped people dancing in the rain with umbrellas shaped like a macaroni noodle.
I think about that drawing and smile before I reach my thumb out to run my fingers against the silky bow glued on the top of the package. I take in a deep but nervous breath. I’m a little uneasy because of the way Chloe looked at me when she handed me the box. Not to mention, she didn’t want Dad to see it and ask questions. Hopefully this isn’t a prank like the ding dong ditch one she pulled on my sixteenth birthday. She cut out Jesse Fantani’s picture from the yearbook and taped it to a box of condoms.
I shake my nerves and sit on my bed with my legs crossed. I tear apart the wrapping paper, the crinkling of the paper the only sound in the room. As soon as all the paper is off, I’m met with a white box that has a small envelope taped to the top.
I pull the envelope off to read the note Chloe left me.
Summer,
Let the moon light up your night tonight…
Love always,
Chloe.
Xoxo
I pout, confused. What does she even mean by that? I shake my head, flip open the box, and remove the tissue paper. Immediately, I’m struck. My mouth drops, and my eyes widen with surprise.
My skin heats as I stare down at one of the biggest dildos from Chloe’s work magazine. The top of the box reads, “New, large and maximum vibration” in big red letters.
I look around for my phone, forgetting where I left it. It takes me all of five minutes to find it. It was underneath some of the torn wrapping paper on my bed. It takes another two seconds before I text Chloe.
Why does it not surprise me that you would give me this. Today of all days.
Well, you weren’t supposed to open it this soon. I said later as in another day.
I chuckle, and adjust myself on the bed before responding.
You could have specified. What do you expect me to do with this?
It takes her a few minutes to reply and, as I read her response, I roll my eyes.
Use it like everyone else does. Please yourself. You could use an orgasm or two.
Typical Chloe. She’s always been hung up on finding me a boyfriend. I tried dating my first year of college and well, let’s just say, it wasn’t meant to be. I always knew I would find the right person someday, but it hasn’t been on the agenda.
I don’t need an orgasm to survive.
Don’t knock it until you try it. You don’t want cobwebs to grow downstairs for your future lover.
I dramatically drop my phone back on my bed, and flop on my back.
Thirty minutes pass, and I’m now staring down at a fake dick. What am I even doing?
I open the box and pull out the silicone vibrator. A sudden rush of adrenaline rises through my skin, and a tickling need spikes between my legs. Something I haven’t felt in… I don’t even remember how long. All I know is that it’s been a while.
Maybe Chloe is right. Blowing off some steam won’t be such a bad thing. Except, I’ve never used one of these before, and I’m not sure if I’m mixed with excitement or worry.
At least if I do it wrong, I’m alone and there won’t be anyone to laugh at me.
Right. Think positively, Summer.
Shuffling my dress up to my stomach, I hook my thumbs at the top of my panties, all the while holding onto this fake penis like it’s going to flawlessly slip away from my hands before I can get a good feel.
As I wiggle my panties over my ass, my heart begins to race. It’s slamming against its cage as if it’s trying to burst through the layers upon layers of skin to break away from its worst nightmare.
I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m not sure I would want to live inside of this body with how many emotions I’ve had to endure lately.
I crawl to the head of my bed and cover myself under my blanket, leaving my dress bunched up at my stomach. A quick panic rises up my throat and my eyes dart to the door. I sigh with aggravation because I’m forced to get up, hurry to the door and flip the lock before snuggling back underneath my blanket to do dirty things to myself for the first time in my entire life.
Maybe I’m slightly exaggerating. I have masturbated plenty of times before. The difference is I never used anything to stimulate myself besides my hand.
As I stare at the dildo, I think of one thing: What do I do with it?
It is such a stupid question because I obviously know what to do with it, but am I supposed to slip it into my mouth to lube it first?
Oh my god. I feel like such an idiot for thinking that.
Shaking my head, I chuckle at myself.
Using one hand, I feather it down the length of my body like I have done multiple times before, stopping so my index finger and middle finger hover over my clit. I gently massage it between my fingers, and then dip lower, sliding my fingers between my lips.
As I finger myself, I think about Alec. I imagine his fingers moving swiftly inside of me. That thought combined with the way my fingers curl against my cervix has my eyes rolling.
The sound of my breath quickens as I pick up the pace, exploring deep in my wetness. The sensation of my fluid causes a shiver to run down my spine. A quiet moan of pleasure escapes and I pick up the pace, gliding my fingers in and out of me.
I take a deep breath, my head falling back as I remove my fingers and replace it with the silicone dildo. I’m so wet it slides in with ease. My eyes close from the length and firm ridges as it glides effortlessly between my folds, and deep into my core.
This feels so good.
Using my thumb, I hover it blindly around, looking for the switch. When I find it, I push it and my mouth parts on its own accord.
Holy shit.
I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it. This is something different. Heaven. Bliss. All of the above. I wish I'd experienced this long before now. Could it be the imagination of Alec hovering over me, kissing up and down the expanse of my neck? How sexy he’d look taking me and filling me up with his length. That thought pushes me closer to the edge.
The faint scent of my arousal lingers in the air, intensifying the mood. The head hits that perfect spot against my cervix, pushing me closer to the edge of no return. My breath quickens, and my heart beats rapidly as I continue to please myself. Moaning loudly, I become lost in the moment. My eyes roll completely back and my body trembles as I reach climax, coming all over my bed sheet.