32. Chapter Thirty-three
Chapter Thirty-three
Summer
I hadn’t realized I had fallen asleep after giving myself to Alec until I opened my eyes.
Is that what I did? Give myself to him?
A wave of tranquility mixes with regret as Alec wraps his arm around my body, pulling me closer. His cock is hard against my ass, and warmth spikes down between my legs. I shoo it away as best as I can, trying not to think about how good he felt inside of me last night. And it was. So very, very good.
His breath sends shivers down my spine as he nuzzles his nose into my neck, inhaling deeply and leaving soft kisses.
I soak it up in the meantime but knowing that having sex with him was a mistake shoots regret deeper into my heart. I know I agreed to it, but at the same time, I shouldn’t have, and maybe that’s why I feel the way that I do.
He had lied to me, and I know Chloe set me up so that he and I could resolve what had been shattering my heart. I could at least hear the reasoning behind what he did, but I am not sure if it will solve anything.
Is there really a good reason as to why he wouldn’t tell me that my father arrested him and planted drugs on him? I mean, my father is no saint. He has proven that to me ever since he first hit me. But I also know my father. Or, at least I think I do. He wouldn’t set someone up like that unless he had a good reason to… right?
To potentially ruin his entire career and life just to put someone behind bars? It doesn’t make any sense.
Then Samantha crosses my mind. And… oh my god. He slept with Samantha.
Disgust creeps in, washing over me. It’s stupid, but I can’t push it aside. The sound of my beating heart pulses through my ears. It’s rapid and unsettling. I forcefully free myself from Alec’s grasp, pushing against his strength, and hastily scoot to the edge of the bed. With trembling hands, I clutch the smooth, deep red sheets tightly around my bare, vulnerable form.
Alec sits up, moving closer. His fingers brush against my shoulders, and I fight back from leaning into his touch. “What’s wrong?”
“This… this was a mistake.” I stand, taking the sheet with me. My hold on it tightens as I turn to face him. My chest tightens as I look into those narrowed gray eyes. I try not to acknowledge that he is still naked… very, very naked. “I’m sorry. I really am, but I need to leave. I can’t...”
Frantically, I spin in a state of panic, desperately searching for my clothes, temporarily forgetting we stripped in the kitchen. I yearn to feel their comforting presence as they shield my insecurities and conceal my body from the man who has inflicted even more damage.
He gets up fast, placing his palms on the top of my arms, stopping me from moving. “Look at me.” I shake my head, avoiding as much as possible. “Summer. I said look at me.” His tone deepens and for some reason I follow his command like a sad puppy. “Good girl. You are not leaving. I let you walk away the first time. I’m not doing it again.”
“You can’t keep me here.”
He shakes his head. “You’re right. And I don’t intend to force you to stay, but you’re not leaving until we talk about this.” There’s a long pause. “Let’s get cleaned up, and I’ll make you breakfast. We’ll talk at the same time.”
I study his expression longer than necessary, conflicted. “You know how to cook?” Out of all the other questions I want to ask, I’m not sure why that is the first thing that came to my mind.
He laughs softly, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “I had no choice but to learn.”
“Right.” I take a deep breath. “Right… I sort of assumed you ordered out all the time.”
His laugh gets louder. “No.”
Oh… I suppose I don’t know him as well as I thought, and that doesn’t sit well with me either.
Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I clear my throat. “OK… fine. But I’m not changing in front of you.”
His tongue runs across his bottom lip, and he smirks. It’s that stupid half-smirk that melts my insides. “You do realize you were fully exposed. Legs spread wide open for me last night.”
My cheeks heat, a tingle spreading down to my toes. “Yeah… well, like I said. That was a mistake.”
He arches an eyebrow, his gaze piercing through me with skepticism. The audacity of him to think that there isn’t the slightest truth in my words.
“I’m sure it was,” he breaks the short silence that fell between us.
I scoff, rolling my eyes. “It was,” I bite back.
It was, right? I think. God, why am I second-guessing myself?
He ignores me and walks away, his bare shoulder brushing against mine, sending a spark of something through me.
Sighing, I turn around, making sure the sheet covers me from my breasts down, and follow behind him. My eyes trail over the intricate details of his back, muscles, and broad shoulders, and fall to the two dimples in his lower back.
Hating him would be easier if he didn’t look like that.
When we enter the kitchen, he picks up his jeans and slips them on. I wait to move closer, and I don’t know why. I could just grab my clothes and go into the bathroom like a normal person… but if I have learned anything about myself over the past few weeks, it is that nothing about me is even remotely normal.
He moves to the side, picking up my clothes and then my purse. I rush over to him and snatch it from his hands. “I got it.”
“A thank you would be nice.” He lets go, but the purse strap slips between my fingers. I fail to catch it, and it hits the floor with a loud thud.
The bag springs open when it hits the ground, and my hand flies to my mouth. “Shit.”
I hurry, grabbing the purse and wrapping my hand around my father’s gun, attempting to hide it before he sees it, but I’m too slow.
“Why the fuck do you have a gun?”
My stomach twists, my throat tightening. “It’s not what you think,” I rush the words out. “I swear.”
His eyes narrow, moving to the gun in my hand and back to my worried eyes. My heart cramps from the look on his face, and I can’t figure out if he’s concerned, freaked out, or afraid of me…
Probably all of the above.
“It’s my father’s.” I was hoping he would say something, but he didn’t; he just kept his distance. I suppose it doesn’t help that it’s in my hands, pointing directly toward his leg.
God, I’m such an idiot.
“I’m sorry.” I put the gun in the purse, holding the sheet against my breasts with my forearm, and placing the bag on the counter. “I stole it,” I admit.
He tilts his head. “You stole it,” he mimics.
I shrug, nervously pushing the hair that cascades on the side of my face behind my ear. “Yes.”
“Why?”
I open my mouth to answer but close it shut. If I tell him the reason I stole the gun, he’s going to look at me differently, and that’s the last thing I want. Or am I afraid to admit it out loud?
“Tell me why you have the gun.”
My lips pinch. “Tell me why you lied to me.”
“Are you serious?”
“Dead serious.”
He nods, running his thumb along his jaw. “OK, then. But it stays in that bag.”
“Fine.”
“Fine,” he repeats.
I roll my eyes. “You first.”
His chest rises as he breathes in. “Sit down.”
I blink, looking down at the sheet wrapped around me. “Naked?”
His arms cross at his chest. “Would you like to change first?”
“Preferably.”
He moves slowly, picking up the clothes that are still on the floor and passes them to me. I take them, head into the bathroom, and get dressed. Using a wet cloth, I clean the smudged eyeliner as best as possible before heading back into the kitchen, where Alec sits with the gun in his hands.
I walk closer and sit down beside him. I’m still a nervous wreck, but it’s nearly impossible to push through my feelings. “I stole it to protect myself.”
He doesn’t look at me. “From your father?”
“Is that so hard to believe?” He shakes his head, placing the gun down on the counter. “Why didn’t you tell me it was him who screwed you over all these years.”
His lips thinned. “I wanted to.”
“But you didn’t.”
With deliberate slowness, he shifts his gaze toward me. “The truth?” I nod nervously. “I didn’t know who you were until Samantha told me.” Anger rushes through me at the sound of her name. “At first, I did want to take you down with me. I knew you were the highlight of his life, and I thought if I…”
“Got close to me, you’d get him back for the damage he’d done to you?”
He shrugs, but the sadness in his eyes doesn’t go unnoticed. “After I got to know you, I didn’t care about revenge. I just wanted you. All of you. I meant what I said on stage.”
I want to cry, but I don’t allow myself to. “And Samantha?”
He sighs, dragging his fingers through his messy hair. “I promise you… we never slept together. When your father pulled me over the very first time, I was with her. We were going to, but he stopped it before we made it past a kiss.”
My eyes furrow, pain deepening in the center of my heart. “Why couldn’t you be honest with me?”
“I’m an idiot, that’s why.” He pinches my chin, holding my head in place. “I’m sorry.”
My eyes water and I can’t push them aside, so I close them. “Please don’t lie to me again. I don’t think I can handle any more than what I already have.” I nearly choke on my words.
He cups my face. “Never again,” he murmurs, leaning in a gentle kiss, the touch igniting a spark of warmth straight between my legs. My mouth parts, allowing access for his tongue to slip inside, but he breathes the kiss before things have a chance to move further. “What did your father do?”
My body stills, my heart sinking. I scratch my temple. More tears make a path down my heated cheeks. I blow out a long breath. “I brought up my mothers case file. He… choked me. Told me that he made sure I would never find out who killed my mother.”
***
Shame creeps up, grasping my insides like withered vines clinging to the side of a rundown building. I didn’t want to repeat the actions my father had done—I didn’t want anyone to know. And I’m not sure why I felt the need to keep it hidden. Could it be because I am still in denial? Probably.
My life was never meant to be like this. I was meant to go to college, succeed, and be worthy of the world, and of my parents.
The way Alec looks at me makes me feel far worse. He looks angry. The fire in his gaze burns through me, and his jaw is set tighter than I’ve ever seen from him.
“Please, say something ?” I beg after allowing the silence to linger on far too long.
He snaps out of the rage and drags his hand down his face, gripping the edge of his jaw tightly. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to think. He fucking…” He pauses, taking in a deep breath. I hear the rough exhale he let out shortly after. “He could have killed you.”
My throat clogs with something rough.
My father could have killed me, yes. That’s the truth. I was hardly able to breathe when his hand was gripping my throat, pressing hard against the expanse of my neck with his palm.
“But he didn’t…” I know that doesn’t matter, but I make it a point anyway. Again, I’m not even sure why. “I know that doesn’t justify what he did. It doesn’t give him a write-off just because he could have killed his daughter, but he didn’t .”
The tension between us builds, and Alec’s whole body vibrates with every word I say. I can feel it through my own body.
“He let me go, Alec. He let me go, and the only thing I can do is heal. Who will believe me if I go to the police station where he fucking works and report him?” I choke out. “He will get out of this no matter what I have to say.”
Finally, Alec comes over, sliding a chair closer and pulling me into his arms. The circles he creates on my lower back are comforting. “He’s not getting away with this. I’ll make sure of that. Even if that means I’m put behind those bars instead.”
My eyes narrow, and I instantly shove him away from me and stand. “You are not going to get locked up on my account. This isn’t a battle for you.”
He huffs. “Do you not get it?”
“What is there to get?”
He gets up and steps forward to me. His eyes darken the longer they pierce through me. “I would go to the ends of this Earth to make sure you are safe. I would cut anyone’s hands off if they dared to touch you in the wrong way. Rip their heart out if they dared to hurt you.”
His hands come up to my face. His touch is gentle, but his words are so deep. Brutal. “Why?”
He chuckles, but it’s soft, and he brushes his thumb down my cheek. I nearly shatter from the warmth of his finger. “Because I love you.”
My mouth falls open, and I look at his eyes. They are filled with adoration and pure love. I blink back the water that is beginning to overflow my eyes, but it doesn’t help. Warmth trickles down my face as the wet, hot tears escape, slipping off my chin the same way they have a thousand times already. I can’t control them, no matter how much I fight it. It’s inevitable. The void that rests in my chest never budges. I’m simply hollow inside.
“I… I don’t know how to feel.” I sniffle between quiet sobs. “I don’t know how to feel normal anymore.”
“Pretty girl, you don’t need to be normal. In fact, that’s one thing I love most about you. Normal is for the weak, and that’s far from what you are. No matter what happens, I’ll be by your side… Every single step of the way. Do you understand me?”
I nod, biting down on the inside of my cheek, my nerves swirling inside of my belly. When I close my eyes to inhale and hold my breath, that is when I know exactly what I need to do.
Opening my eyes, I let out the air slowly. “I think I need to…” I swallow down the bile that sneaks its way up my throat. At the same time, I’m hating myself for what I’m about to say. “I think I need to confront my father.”
I clamp my eyes closed once more, my mind wandering to the moments we’ve shared while I was growing up. I was always his little girl—his princess. He’s done everything he can for me, including shielding me from the wicked world we live in. But now…
Now I realize that my father is the only evil I should have been protected from.
And maybe I’ve been too naive to believe he’d never do the cruel things he has done. The mere thought of confronting him face to face makes my stomach flip, fearing what he might do and knowing exactly what he’s capable of. But I know I have to.
“And I think it should be done in the police station.”
Alec brings his head closer and presses his lips to mine. He nods against my forehead. “I’m going with you. I’ll be right by your side.”