35. Chapter Thirty-six
Chapter Thirty-six
Summer
My heart staggered when I saw one of the guys enter the living room. The drummer—Tyler is his name—sits on the opposite end of the couch.
Why is he making himself comfortable?
I knew I would eventually have to warm up to everyone, but I didn’t expect that to happen tonight.
Tyler doesn’t say anything. He sips from the glass in his hand silently. I want to say something to break the awkward silence that fills the room, but I don’t know what to say. I hardly know any of them, and my first real encounter wasn’t the best, even though I apologized a little while ago.
Thankfully, Alec comes in. My stomach lurches, when I see his worried expression. His hand presses against the upper arm.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” He moves his head for me to follow him.
Something twists within me, but I nod through it, getting up slowly. I follow him to his bedroom. As soon as we both step through the doorway, he closes the door for privacy.
“What’s wrong?”
He squeezes the back of his neck. “They informed me that my… coordinator loved the show. The new songs.”
“That’s awesome!” I say, ecstatic. “But, why don’t you sound thrilled?”
His cheeks puff out from the breath he blows out. “There was one song I specifically wrote for you. Nobody else was supposed to hear it.”
Shiny gray eyes look at me. My mouth opens but the words don’t come out, so I close my mouth to swallow to ease the swelling in my heart.
“You… you wrote that for me?”
The corner of his mouth tilts up. “I did.”
I bring my hand to my mouth, resting two fingers on my lips. “That’s… the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
Don’t cry, Summer.
But crying is exactly what I might do.
“You see.” He pulls my attention back to him but walks over his dresser to grab a white V-neck T-shirt. I bite my lip, staring at the little bit of chest hair peeking out blending in with the curved edges of the wings tattooed on his chest. “I didn’t intend to play it again. Not for anyone else.”
I’m taken aback. “Why? It was a great song, and obviously, it seems like it’ll be huge for you.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not about how much of a hit it is. That song was personal.”
I understand what he’s saying. “I think, if you don’t want to release that song, then don’t. But I think you should. Just because you wrote that song for me doesn’t change what you did. Don’t cut yourself short on an amazing hit.”
He smiles again. “I’ll think about it.” There’s a short pause before he continues, “They want to celebrate. I can tell them to leave if you’re uncomfortable with them being here.”
Oh .
“I… no. It’s fine. I need to get to know them sooner or later. Right?” That was partially the truth. It’s certainly not that I’m uncomfortable being around his friends, but it’s all to do with how much I lashed out. “What if they don’t like me?” I whisper, chewing on my bottom lip.
Alec chuckles. “That’s impossible.” He opens the door to his bedroom before I can ask another question. Looks back at me and nudges his head. “Come on.”
Hesitantly, I walk past him, only for Samantha to startle me. “I opened a beer for you. Alec said you don’t really drink, so if you don’t want it, that’s completely fine.” She extends her arm with the cold glass in her hand.
I smile and take the bottle from her hand. “I think I can make an exception tonight.”
***
I sit by the window on the floor and watch how Alec interacts with his friends. Music plays in the background as everyone laughs and enjoys themselves. A small ache in my chest settles because I’ve only ever had this sort of relationship with one person—Chloe. It was never something that bothered me per se, but I long for it now. It almost feels like I’ve missed so much of my life, having dedicated the majority of it to my father.
I make a face as I watch Tyler attempt a strange dance move. If he didn’t push himself back up off the ground, I would have assumed he threw his back out or, worse, broke it. Alec laughs, bringing the bottle of beer to his mouth. His eyes meet mine, and I give the smallest of smiles.
Before I can think, he is up on his feet, approaching me, and crouching down. “You OK?” he asks.
And for the first time in a while, I think I am. “Yeah. This is nice. Even though I’ve been a hermit over here by myself, it’s… nice to see how you are with your friends.”
He smirks, pulls my chin up, and presses his lips to mine. “They are your friends too, Sunshine.”
“Alec, come check this out,” James says, waving his hand for Alec to go over.
“I’ll be right back.” Alec kisses me one last time before sitting beside James on the couch. I drink the remainder of my beer… it’s my second one, and I’m feeling a little tipsy. My body warms from the laughter filling the room, and I adjust by stretching my legs straight out.
Samantha startles me again as she sits beside me, ankle over ankle. “I brought you another.”
“Oh, thank you,” I think.
I wasn’t planning on having another drink, but I took the cold bottle from her anyway and placed it on the opposite side of me. “Do you always sneak up on people?”
She laughs. It’s loud and sweet. “Basically. I do it to the guys all the time.” She watches them, but I notice something in her face changes.
“Does it ever bother you?” I ask.
She looks at me with a puzzled expression. “What?”
I shrug. “Being the only girl.”
“Nah. If you spend as many years as I have surrounded by the same dorks, you sort of grow accustomed to them. They’re like family… about the only family I really have.”
The ache in my heart from a few minutes ago grows. “I’m sorry.”
Samantha snorts, and now I’m very confused. “My parents aren’t dead. They are very much alive, but my mother shut us out when I was eleven. My father owns the bar across town. He’s a decent father. I have zero complaints. He just… doesn’t appreciate the things I like. The things I want to do with my life. He’s not a fan of Alec.”
Thinking about what I had read in Alec’s file, it makes sense why her father doesn’t like him very much, without knowing his full story.
“It’s because of…” I start, but she cuts me off.
“The incident you read about, yes. And I am truly sorry you read that and never had a proper explanation.”
I shake my head. “There is no reason that you should be sorry. It was a long time ago, and I should have taken that into account.”
She gives me an upside-down smile. “You’re really something.”
My eyebrows pull together. “What do you mean?”
Samantha laughs that short but sweet laugh again. “You changed him.” She takes a swig of her drink. “He was always a stuck-up, arrogant asshole. You pulled something out of him that I haven’t seen from him in a very long time.”
For some reason, those words sit heavy in my chest. “Well, to be fair. He came to me first. Even if it wasn’t for the right reasons, he made me see things I wish I had seen long ago.”
Now, I’m reaching for my beer and taking a sip, and it’s not because this conversation is sweet and heartwarming but because this is exactly what I needed after everything I had gone through—I needed—just one night to enjoy the good things in life and celebrate.
We sit for a while longer, talking about all things and having a beer, just us girls. We talk about our favorite clothing shops, favorite bands, and even what type of yogurt we prefer.
James guzzles down the rest of the whiskey he took from Alec’s collection and hums. “Summer,” he says with a rather unnecessary loud voice.
“Oh, here we go. James is drunk.” Samantha pats me on the shoulder before standing up. “Good luck.”
Should I be worried?
I look over at Alec briefly, but James brings me back to him. “Tell us a little about yourself. We haven’t been formally introduced. All I know is you have some spitfire in those bones.”
My lip worries its way between my teeth, and I chew down a little harder than I normally would. My eyes meet with Alec’s, and he gives me a reassuring nod.
I clear my throat, shifting on the floor slightly. “Well, I’m a college dropout… My father is a lying, conniving murderer, and I’m sitting here getting wasted with a couple of freaks.” Shock slams into my gut as the words come out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop them.
Damn alcohol.
Another reason I don’t drink is because the emotions that fall off people’s tongues are uncontrollable.
The room grows deeply silent as everyone looks over at me. I bring my shaky hand with the bottle in it to my mouth and chug the remainder of my beer, mortified by the fact that I insulted them. I’m really winning at this friendship ordeal.
I look over at Alec and notice his hand in a fist over his mouth. His eyes tilt slightly as a smile peaks out from the sides of his fist. He approves of what I said, but not me. I don’t approve at all, not even a little bit.
Finally, James breaks the awkward silence deepening throughout the room and bursts into laughter. He elbows Alec in the arm. “I like her, man.”
I let out a nervous chuckle and attempted to drink more from the glass in my hand, only to forget that I had just finished it. “I… uh, I need another one.”
Pushing myself off the floor, I hurry into the kitchen and place the glass on the counter. I take a minute to breathe in slowly, ashamed of myself for what I had said.
“That was… inquisitive.”
I’m startled by Alec as he leans casually against the counter. His arms link over each other, and one foot rests over the other ankle. His chest tattoo peaks from the top of his white V-neck shirt. A tingle between my legs occurs, and I’m forced to squeeze them to ease the tension. I blow out a long breath, unable to remove my eyes from how attractive this man is.
“You just undressed me with your eyes, didn’t you?”
My mouth parts. “What? No. I did not.”
“Right.”
I inhale another deep breath, feeling a slight relaxation in my body as I inhale. Alec pushes off the counter and eats away at the distance between us, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“I called you all freaks,” I repeat my earlier statement.
He laughs. “You sure did.” He presses his lips on the top of my head. “You don’t have to try so hard. They’re not going to think any less of you.”
“I’m not trying hard. I’m just…” I pause, thinking about that for a second. “It doesn’t matter. You have really good friends.”
He moves closer to my ear. “You mean freaks.”
I push him off me. “Come on. I’m serious.”
Walking around him, I sit down on the stool closest to me. Alec does the same, sitting next to me. I place my palms against my forehead and sigh.
“I’m a crappy friend,” I admit.
“What makes you think that?”
I shrug, turning to face Alec. “I have one best friend. She and I were nearly inseparable growing up. I haven’t opened up to her much lately, except for very few things.”
Alec places his hand on my thigh. His fingers smooth along the upper leg, the warmth increasing my desire. “I’m sure she’ll forgive you. Was it the girl you went to my shows with? Tyler’s girl?”
My eyes widen. “I’m sorry. Tyler’s girl?”
Did I hear that correctly? That can’t possibly be right.
“What about my girl?” Tyler slurs as he walks into the kitchen.
Well, isn’t that perfect timing?
I look at Tyler, taking him in. His arm drapes across the door, and his shirt is halfway off; one side rests on his shoulder. I have so many questions. Most importantly, why did Chloe not tell me she was dating him ?
I point to Tyler. “You are dating Chloe? My friend. My best friend.” I don’t know why I had to clarify that so much. I look at Alec again. “And you knew?”
I can’t believe this.
Alec shrugs. “I found out not long ago. I thought you knew.”
I start to shake my head in disbelief. My mouth hangs open. I’m speechless, confounded in my thoughts.
“Don’t look so surprised,” Tyler drawls, winking.
He just fucking winked at me.
***
I’m convinced that my life is one big fucked up joke. I don’t know what God’s intentions were for me, or if there was a plan set in stone to dismember my emotions one by one. Maybe a few rocks were intended to be tossed my way or a bucket of water dumped onto my head. Either way, I’m not enjoying any of this.
My best friend is dating Tyler… whatever his last name is. I don’t know it because we haven’t gotten that far in friendship for me to consider asking.
Alec locks the deadbolt after everyone leaves. I can finally breathe a little more normally. Thankfully, after the blow-up regarding Chloe, Alec thought it best for everyone to head home. So, he called a cab for them. It hadn’t taken long for the cab to arrive. In the meantime, the buzz I had vanished, and I’m almost debating on popping open another bottle.
I’m left with near disgust and half of a little something else that I can’t exactly figure out.
It’s not that Tyler isn’t attractive. He is, with his thick arms and strong jaw. But… he’s far from Chloe’s type.
Or maybe I don’t know much about my friend anymore.
“You look like you’re going to be sick, " Alec says, pulling me out of my endless thoughts.
I give him a solid expression. “I might. It’s not every day you find out your best friend is dating your boyfriend’s friend…”
His dreamy smirk fills his face. “Your boyfriend, huh?” His strides close the distance between us as he wraps his arms around my waist.
“Well, I don’t sleep with just anyone,” I drawl.
“Mmm.” He kissed the crook of my neck. A rush of warmth sparks all the way to my toes as his lips make a pathway along the expanse of my neck, his short beard tickles the skin. I lean my neck back to give him better access. His hands glide under the hem of my shirt as he traces my curves. He pushes into me, his dick pulsing against my thigh.
“I can’t believe she didn’t tell me.”
He groans. “Stop thinking so much about it.”
I want to because what Alec is doing with his hands feels like heaven and is turning me on, spreading goosebumps along the back of my neck and throughout my body. But when I try to push Chloe out of my head, she creeps back in, almost like she’s nagging me mentally.
Alec continues to grope me, touching all the right places while he kisses and bites my neck, the hairs on the back of my neck rise.
“It’s just… how could she not tell me? How could you not mention it? He’s so… he’s so him, and she’s so her. I…”
“Summer…” Alec’s tone became serious, causing me to clamp my mouth shut and look at him. He grabs my face. “Tyler is everything you think, but he’s also a really good guy. He’s had his shit together for a long time. Longer than any of us. He has goals and good morals, just like you and I. Call her in the morning but be sure you keep that fire inside of you. We don’t need a messy situation.”
I roll my eyes at his assumption that I’ll blow up on Chloe. “Jerk.”
He chuckles, leaning in to kiss me more.
I can’t help but think about what he said. Do I really have goals? The last time I checked, I left college and still have no clue what I should be doing with my life or what my passions are. I feel as though I have nothing.
The flick of his tongue over my earlobe causes a sudden rush of need that shoots straight to my core, wiping all the thoughts of Tyler and Chloe out of my head.
Reluctantly, I wrap my arms around his neck, leaning into his and breathing him in. When he angles his head to kiss me in a new spot, I press my lips against the crook of his neck, tracing a line with my bottom lip to his earlobe, gently sinking my teeth into the thick flesh. A groan comes from him, vibrating against my neck as he pushes his thick length harder against my leg. His body shudders under my touch and sends a rush of pleasure between my legs.
His hands come down to the button of my jean shorts. With one swift tug, they fall over my ass and pool onto the floor. His hands grip the back of my legs. He lifts me and sets me down on the countertop. It’s cool to the touch from the central air. A small screech from the sudden motion falls out of me. He leans in, kissing me with force. Dragging his tongue in and out of my mouth while our teeth clack together.
It’s rough and intense and everything I need.
His hands move to the top of his sweatpants. Without breaking the kiss, he pulls down his pants and boxers. His shirt follows shortly after.
He pulls out a condom and opens it, sliding it along his length. My eyes follow the movement while my teeth indent into my lip. I’d question where the condom came from, but at this moment, I don’t care. I’m just thankful he has one.
Not a second is wasted as his fingers wrap around his shaft, guiding the head at the entrance of my already wet pussy. The ridge of his erection rubs between my folds, sliding in effortlessly.
“God, you feel so good,” he moans.
“How good?” I push, rolling my hips into him.
He looks at me, those piercing gray eyes darkening. “So needy.”
I can’t help the smile on my face. Locking him in place with my hips, his thrust increases. His hands grip onto the thick flesh of my ass tightly.
“You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted this all night.” He murmurs into my ear.
“Me too, oh god. Me too.”
He works himself flawlessly, leaving me shuddering and panting. His hand slides up my cortex to the edge of my neck. My head falls back, my pulse igniting from the bliss of pleasure.
Placing my palms on his back, my nails dig into his flesh. He growls, pushing harder and faster. He adjusts himself quickly, tugging my legs and resting them into the crease of his arm. The harder he pumps his hips, the more difficult it is not to scream.
“Oh, god. Alec. I…” I moan.
“That’s right. Let it out, scream for me.”
My back arches as my vision blurs from the intense feeling of him.
“Oh, god, Alec. I’m coming,” I say through ragged breaths.
“That’s right, baby.” He pumps harder as I scream his name. “Come all over my dick.”
His breathing becomes louder and more erratic as he fills me with his length. And then I’m coming. Alec’s muscles tense as he works through my orgasm. A violent moan falls from my mouth as I coat his length. The feeling is so fierce and powerful. Like a high, I never want to come down from.
“Fuck,” he growls, slamming into me with one final thrust.
Our breaths are ragged, choppy, and raw as we take a minute. His hand cups my face, staring me in the eyes right before his lips press to mine. My mouth parts as he slowly pulls out of me. My legs still weak and shaky. He slips off the condom and disposing it into the kitchen trash can. I don’t move for a few more seconds, catching my breath.
Once it’s a little more steady, Alec extends his arm my way. I place my hand in his and hop off the counter.
“Let’s get cleaned up.”
Alec extends his arm out for me. My face blushes as I place my hand in his and allow him to bring me to the bathroom. He turns on the water, checking the temperature a few times before pulling me into him. My neck cranes, my mouth softly brushing against his and stealing a kiss.
His fingers skim along my hips as he glides my shirt over my head and throws it onto the floor. On instinct, I wrap my arms over my stomach and chew on the inside of my cheek.
“You’re nervous,” Alec points out. “Why?”
I clear my throat. “I’ve never showered with anyone before.” There are many things I haven’t done, and I often feel ashamed because of that. I won’t admit that out loud, though.
“There’s a first for everything.” He takes my hand, getting into the shower first.
I follow, lifting one leg at a time and stepping into the warm water. A deep, nervous breath enters my lungs while I rewrap my arms around my stomach. Alec takes my hands, pulling them away.
“Relax, pretty girl,” he whispers against my ear. “Let me take care of you.”
And I do. I let him take full control. He maneuvers around me, so I’m fully submerged under the warm water. A low moan falls out of me as the water hits my skin, soothing away the worry inside me. His hands travel along my bare skin. His eyes hungrily stare into me.
Droplets of water run along his tattoos, leaving the air in my lungs to clog.
He’s breathtaking.
His fingers run through my hair, helping the water to spread evenly through each strand. Then, he grabs his shampoo bottle and pours a generous amount into his palm before lathering it all into my hair.
He stays close to me as he massages the shampoo into my scalp, taking me to another place. My eyes drift closed as I relax into his touch.
“Tilt your head back.”
I tilt my head back into the water, keeping my eyes fully closed. A faint humming comes from his lungs as his fingers carefully run through my hair under the water. Shortly, that humming follows with the subtle sound of his voice. He sings softly, the words sinking into my soul, bringing me into a place that I’m meant to be – a place I fought so hard to find.
But I’m afraid.
I’m afraid to allow myself to love another.
Petrified that I’ll only lose him, too.
Because everyone I tend to love seems to leave somehow, someway.
His voice penetrates through the room. The water pattering against the bottom of the tub blends almost perfectly.
When he finishes rinsing my hair, he begins to wash me. He takes his loofa, lathering it with soap and running it across my skin. I let him, drinking in the feel of his touch while he creates gentle circles along my back, arms, and stomach. He continues to sing softly as he washes the rest of my body.
I open my eyes, meeting him in complete awe. He looks at me through his long, dark lashes, and I give a merciful smile. I should return the favor, but I’ve never washed someone else’s hair or body. I shove the jittery feeling away and do it anyway.
“My turn,” I say, taking the loofa from him, lathering it with soap, and washing him the same way he had done to me.
I move on to the shampoo. He helps by getting his hair wet before I attempt to stand on my tippy toes and wash it through.
My foot suddenly slips from the soap on the bottom of the shower, causing me to lose my balance. A light pop resonates in my ankle, and a sharp sting pierces up my leg, causing an intense jolt of pain. I scream from the excruciating sensation that surges through me. In a matter of seconds, my body twists, and I desperately clutch onto the shower curtain.
“Shit!” Alec shouts, his hands stretching out to catch me, but with the soap-slicked palms and slippery wet skin, I slip through his hands, crashing onto the hard tile floor.
Despite the agony I feel in my leg, I’m left laughing. I laugh to replace the utter embarrassment I feel.
Alec gets out of the shower quickly, crouching beside me. He looks over my entire body for any damage. “Are you hurt?”
“I think it’s just my ankle. There are probably a couple of bruises.” I’ll feel those tomorrow, I’m sure of it.
He grabs a towel, wraps it around me, and helps me stand. “Can you walk?”
I attempt to, but I screech the moment I put pressure on my foot. “It hurts.”
“Fuck,” he says.
“Alec… you still have soap in your hair.” I don’t know why that matters at a time like this.
“I don’t give a damn about my hair. Let’s get you in bed. I’ll grab ice, and we can elevate your ankle.”
I nod. “OK. Uhm… this was… an entirely new experience.”
“Indeed, it was.” He chuckles, taking one of my arms and wrapping it around his shoulder to keep pressure off my ankle. Holding the towel with my other hand, I hop slowly as Alec walks, guiding me to his bedroom.
Turning around slowly, Alec helps me into the bed. He then lifts my hurt foot up and props it onto a pillow. He takes a minute to look over my ankle.
“It doesn’t look swollen, but to be safe, I’ll grab some ice.”
“I think I just twisted it. I’m not sure.”
He kisses the top of my head. “Don’t move it. I’ll be right back.”
He returns with a small bag of ice wrapped in a thin cloth and places it on my foot. I look over at him and begin to laugh again because he’s mostly covered in soap and completely naked.
His eyes narrow. “What’s so funny?”
“You should finish washing that out of your hair.”
He smirks. “Promise me you’ll stay put.”
“I promise.”