Chapter Two
Present Day
Neither one of us talked as we walked across the courtyard to our room. Once we were inside I bit my lip and sat on one of the beds. The room was fine, a little dated, with wallpaper that screamed an attempt at early 90’s luxury.
“I hope we don’t get murdered.” I said.
“Gin…” Theo laughed. “Come on…”
“Doesn’t this kind of remind you of from dusk till dawn… I’m waiting for George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino to burst through the door.”
Theo laughed again, out loud this time and shook his head before dumping his suitcase on the other bed. “It reminds me more of a pay by the hour motel.” he mused.
I frowned. “You know what those look like?”
Theo looked at me, his eyes wide. “God no, just in the movies… where the man picks up a hooker or a couple go to indulge in their affair… Jesus Gin, I don’t need to resort to paying for sex.”
Hmm… paying for sex, maybe that was what I should do - maybe then I’d find someone who actually knew what they were doing.
I’d been with a handful of guys, but none of them seemed to understand the way around a woman’s body - it was like they’d watched porn and decided that was the only way sex could be. Totally one sided.
“You’re deep in thought.” Theo’s voice interrupted my absurd thoughts, but apparently not enough to stop me opening my mouth to speak with no filter.
“Thinking about paying someone for sex.”
Fuck my life.
Had I actually just said that.
“I mean - I was just thinking - if I paid for it would it be a better experience…”
That was absolutely in no way any better.
I couldn’t bring myself to look at Theo. He was probably grinning, enjoying how uncomfortable I was. He always liked to make me squirm.
“You just need someone who knows their way around a woman’s body.”
I almost said it… fuck me. I almost stepped right into the fire. The words “Like you?” were still dancing on the tip of my tongue.
“Hmm, well - no chance of that.” I replied. “I am off the market… indefinitely.”
I pulled a pair of trackpants and a t-shirt out of the suitcase and then walked into the bathroom to change. When I walked back out, my sundress folded in my arms I noticed that Theo had the same idea. He had changed into a singlet and trackpants and was scrolling through his phone.
“Thomas really did a number on you didn’t he?”
The question caught me off guard. To the point that I froze on the spot and just stared at Theo. He looked up from his phone and then placed it beside him.
“Why do you say that?”
“You’re off the market indefinitely? You guys broke up ages ago.”
I shrugged. “I mean not that it is any of your business, but I ended things.”
“Good.” He quickly corrected himself. “I mean I’m glad you knew you were worth more and made that choice.”
I scoffed, it was almost like Theo had been a fly on the wall by that comment.
“What?”
“Well, it’s just funny because he said I couldn’t do better than him and that he was settling so.”
“He what?” Theo sounded mad, like not slightly peeved… but really fucked off… almost how I’d felt when Thomas had said it.
“I decided I wasn’t going to settle for just anyone either and dumped him, packed up anything of his, left it on the porch and blocked his ass.”
“Thomas was a tool.” Theo said. “But uh, Sloane just said you guys wanted different things.”
“We did,” I shrugged “Not each other.”
Truth be told I hadn’t told Sloane… or anyone else what Thomas had said, they didn’t know the catalyst behind me ending it, mostly because I didn’t want them to feel sorry for me.
That was the thing about Theo - he didn’t feel sorry for me, he never had.
He cared about me, sure, but he never pitied me. I liked that.
“Well for what it’s worth, he was wrong about you not being able to do better. If anyone was settling it was you.”
“Uh… thanks?” I knew I sounded suspicious - almost like I was waiting for the punchline of whatever joke he was about to make.
Instead he fixed his gaze on me and then opened his mouth to speak.
“I’m serious Imogen, any guy would be lucky to have you.”
He’d called me Imogen, which he never did, unless he was being deadly serious… or pissed off. I ignored the way my heart fluttered.
“You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.”
“I’m not.” He said. “You know I wouldn’t, You just deserve someone who sees how incredible you are. Not some asshole who makes you feel like you should be grateful for scraps.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. Didn’t know what to do with the way he was looking at me—like he meant every word.
So I did what I always did when things got too real. I deflected.
“Well, until that mythical person shows up, I’m perfectly fine on my own.” I grabbed my phone, desperate for a distraction. “I’m starving. Should we order pizza?”
“Yeah.” He replied. “Pizza sounds good.”
Theo searched on his phone and then looked over at me. “What kind of pizza do you want?”
I smiled, knowing what was about to happen - Knowing because for years we’d had the disagreement. “Hawaiian - extra pineapples.”
Theo rolled his eyes. “Pineapples are a fruit and they do not belong on pizza.”
“Tomatoes are a fruit also.”
“And?” he made a face, the same face he’d made at 20 when I’d ordered Hawaiian pizza one summer night. “The Italians put tomatoes on pizza, it was always there - crazy people like you just started adding things that didn’t belong.”
“Please.” I begged. “Get regular pineapple then and you can pick your pieces off and put it on mine.”
Theo rolled his eyes in disgust but called the number and ordered the Hawaiian pizza anyway.
Half an hour later when it was delivered Theo came and sat on my bed. He grabbed us both a beer from the fridge and then opened the box.
“Sacrilege.” He picked the pineapple chunks off his slices and chucked them across the box. I picked a piece of pineapple up and popped it into my mouth.
“Delicious sacrilege, no?”
I looked at him, not expecting to find him looking at me, but he was. His eyes darted to my lips and then back up to my eyes.
“If you say so, Gin.”
The pizza was good, more than good actually and once we’d finished I felt like I probably could have stopped a slice or two before.
Thomas would have told me pizza was bad for my health, he’d have given me looks if I’d even dared to pick up a third slice.
Theo just ate with me - every now and again giving me shit for the pineapple and only the pineapple.
He closed the box and drained the rest of his beer.
We were still sitting on my bed, close quarters, much closer quarters than I was used to anyway.
I looked at him, absorbing him - he hadn’t changed much since I’d seen him last, maybe tired if anything, though with the amount of international travel he did I wasn’t sure there was ever a time he wasn’t jetlagged.
His eyes locked with mine and then he looked down at my lips again before smiling and lifting his thumb to the corner of my mouth.
“You missed a bit.” His eyes were soft and he lifted his hand to my face, brushing the spot away with his thumb. I didn’t have time to react, because it had all happened so fast.
He kept eye contact and placed his thumb into his mouth, then sucked the sauce off it like it was nectar. I looked away, my brain unable to fully absorb the sight, to understand the moment. What the hell was he playing at? Was this just another way to tease me?
“It’s uh, actually getting late.” I said softly, looking at the clock on the wall that very clearly said 8pm.
Theo chuckled and stood up. “We do have an early morning.”
He cleared away the box and the bottles while I went in to brush my teeth. He joined me a minute later and in a rather domesticated way we just stood there brushing our teeth right next to one another.
Once we were in bed, and the lights were out it occurred to me that sleeping in the same room as Theo was something teenage me had wanted.
I’d dreamed up stories where we’d be forced together, one thing would lead to another and then, well I’d read one too many sexy romance novels as a youth and my dreams were anything but innocent because of it.
It was different as an adult, the hope and playfulness had been all but beaten down by the disappointment of man. The reality of those I’d even dared to allow close in that way had been enough to maybe send me into hiding for the rest of my adult life.
Sometimes I wondered if good sex was a rumour the porn industry created to make money.
“Are you still writing?” Theo’s voice interrupted me.
I shook the thought from my mind.
“I write for a job Theo.”
“You know what I mean.” He replied. “The creative stuff.”
I blinked hard in the dark as if somehow it was going to help me see clearer. “I haven’t felt inspired in a long time.”
It was the truth too, writing had once brought me such joy - It was my safe space. But ever since my parents had passed - I’d kind of lost the spark. Sure I wrote for Heart and Soul - but my articles were not me, they were how-to lists, or fashions for fall. One note, no passion.
“What about you?” I asked. “You barely update your personal instagram anymore. Just your business one. I miss seeing your landscapes and candid moments.”
Theo sighed heavily, and I wondered if he missed them too. “I’ve been too busy.”
“But not too busy to be a fuck boy though.” I laughed.
I heard Theo move beneath the sheets, so I looked over at him. In the dim light of the motel room, with only the neon red glow peeping through the tatty curtains for light I could see he had turned on to his side, his hand propping up his head.
“I’m not a fuck boy.” His voice sounded serious, but I couldn’t tell if he truly believed the words he was saying. “It’s a common misconception.”
I laughed and turned over fully until I was mirroring him, only I kept my head on the pillow.
“Do the girls know this?” Valid question I thought, though I could see a shift in Theo’s face.
“You make it sound like there is an endless stream of them.” Now he sounded serious and a little mad although I wasn’t exactly sure why.
“Are there not?”
“No.” He replied with a short voice. “There isn’t. Also fuck boy insinuates I lead them on. I don’t lead them on.”
“Okay.” My voice was soft. “I’m sorry I made you feel like a whore.”
I said whore with a smile on my face, and then laughed a second later.
“You did.” He sounded hurt, but I could tell there was a hint of a laugh in his voice.
There was a beat of silence, filled with nothing but the sound of the air conditioner whirring in the background.
I spoke before I could think.
“Well, obviously you know what you’re doing.” I yawned as I spoke, stretching my words out dramatically.
“What do you mean?”
Generally being tired, stressed or overthinking led to me having no filter. Words escaping my mouth or my finger tips before I could stop them - only for me to obviously regret them later.
“In Bed. the girls wouldn’t keep coming,” I laughed at my own joke for a solid twenty seconds before continuing. “They wouldn’t keep coming back for more if you were terrible. So you got that going for you.”
I don’t know if Theo said anything else, my eyes were heavy and almost before I’d finished speaking I was falling asleep.
Junior year 2014
February
“Gin, we need to talk.” Sloane’s voice was low, she placed her hand in mine and pulled me into one of the empty classrooms. I wanted to tell her we’d get in trouble if we were caught - but I could tell by the look on her face that whatever she had to say was serious.
“I’m supposed to be meeting Harry in the carpark,” I murmured. “We’re going to study.”
Well actually we were going to have sex, but Sloane didn’t like Harry and she’d only talk me out of it.
Sloane closed her eyes and sighed. “He’s using you.”
I felt my face narrow, my brows pushed together so much it hurt. Was it really that ridiculous that I was dating a basketballer?
“I expect this from the cheerleaders Sloane. Not you. You’ve never made me feel like I’m not good enough.”
My voice broke, I felt tears line my eyes. She grabbed my hands and pulled me in for a tight hug.
“Gin you are stunning and gorgeous and you literally could have any decent man… Harry is not decent.”
I stepped back. “I don’t understand.”
“The jocks.” she whispered. “I heard the girls talking in the locker rooms. They have this point game going on.”
My stomach sank. Immediately I knew where this was going.
“Boys are so gross Ginny. I’m so sorry.”
“So how many points does he get if we sleep together?”
“I’m not sure, but I heard Vicky say it would put him in the lead.”
I felt sick and saw red at the same time. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to vomit or hit someone.
My rage burning through me overwhelmed the nausea and I chose violence.
Sloane followed me, I guess she was trying to talk sense into me, probably so I’d avoid suspension. But fuck - taking the power back was worth a bad mark on my record.
“Hey baby!” Harry called, his once sexy smile seeming sinister now.
I leaned in for a kiss, but pulled my head back at the last minute.
“I’m sorry.” I said, my voice deadpanned. “You’re not going to win your little game…”
I brought my knee up to his crotch and thrust it hard against his junk. Almost instantly he fell to his knees and screamed out.
“Walk it off you fucking monster.”
A week’s suspension and a stupid point system targeted at humiliating girls uncovered by the powers that be.
Worth it.