Chapter seven
Present Day
Once we were in the room I chucked my stilettos on to the stupid chaise and walked around to the bed.
I must have forgotten where I was, or who I was with, or maybe I actually just didn’t care because I threw my dress off, on to the ground and stood there in nothing but my underwear as I pulled out the closest thing to pyjamas that I could get my hands on, which ended up being an oversized t-shirt.
I pulled it on, over my bra and panties and pulled it down, it barely covered anything, but it covered enough.
I turned around and Theo was watching me. His eyes were wider than I’d ever seen them. I felt like I might faint when I realised what I’d done. He’d seen me, practically naked, all my curves and rolls and… fuck.
Nausea washed over me, and not because I’d had too much to drink. Well I had, but that wasn’t why I felt nauseous.
“You’re not playing fair Imogen.” His voice was low and breathy.
My eyebrows quivered inward. Was he mad? “I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”
Theo undone his shirt, button by button and I couldn’t look away.
My derobing had been quick and without much thought, but Theo, he was making it an art.
He shrugged his arms out of the shirt and let it fall to the floor, before then focusing his fingers on the buckle of his jeans.
He pulled them down, then stepped out of them before standing up and locking his eyes with mine.
“Are you okay?” I asked
He seemed almost angry the way he took off his clothes, until he was standing just in his underwear. A slow deliberate smirk grew on his face.
His hand moved to the waistline of his boxer shorts and my gaze followed on instinct. He was hard.
Why was he hard?
Had I done that? I brushed the thought aside. Of course I fucking hadn’t.
He ran his fingers over the front of the fabric, over his erection and then let out a strangled breath. I knew I was standing there with my mouth hanging open, but I was frozen.
“No. A beautiful woman just undressed right in front of me. I’m not okay.” He sounded as bothered as I felt, which was ridiculous to even entertain as an idea, and yet the evidence was before me. Hard and rigid and angled lines…
This was bad. We hadn’t even shared a fucking bed for one night and already we were blurring lines that could make a lot of things very fucking awkward going forward. I wasn’t Theo’s type and that was okay… but I refused to be his drunken regret.
“Pillow wall.” I said tightly, as I set about using the access pillows to build a barrier. Theo just leaned across the bed and helped before we both climbed under the covers and fell into a deep drunk sleep.
Late August - Graduation night 2015
“I’m so drink.” I laughed, walking down the middle of the road.
“I think you mean drunk.” she laughed, stumbling over her stupid heels.
I’d worn my converse and my drunk ass was thankful for it. Sloane looped her arm through mine and rested her head on my shoulder. “Jasper wants me to live with him off campus.”
I’d been expecting this conversation. I wasn’t an idiot, they were so in love it was really the only option. I’d know I’d been on my own in the dorms the minute I found out we were all going to the same college.
“I know.”
“You do?”
“You guys are joined at the hip.”
“But so are we!”
“But you’re not going to spend forever with me and marry me and have babies with me.”
She laughed. “God don’t you think it would just be so much easier if we could.”
I nodded. “Yes… but you have your Jasper and I have…”
I stopped. I didn’t have anyone… not really. Christopher was still in the picture but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was not my forever. He wasn’t even really my right now.
“You have my brother?”
“I don’t.” I warned.
Sloane let out an exasperated sigh. She tugged on my arm and then leaned in. “When we get back to my place - go and lay one on him. I bet he kisses you back!”
Instant nausea at the thought. What would happen if I tried? Would he push me away?
When we got back to the house Sloane went to shower and I walked down to Theo’s room. The alcohol had me the right amount of inebriated that if he walked out into the hallway I really would throw myself at him.
“Lillian, come on. No, I am going camping.”
Who was Lillian?
“Are you kidding, I do this every year it’s like a… a family thing.”
Who was he talking to?
“We’re not together Lillian, we hook up.”
Oh. Nausea filled me from head to toe and I almost tripped walking backwards.
“I’ve gotta go. I’ll call you later.”
Fuck fuck fuck - I turned and ran - Theo called out as I approached the toilet.
“Imogen, are you okay?”
I emptied my stomach until it hurt and burned. It was what I’d deserved. I’d flown too close to the sun, let myself believe I had the confidence to kiss Theo Bennett, only to be rudely reminded. I do not look like the girls he dates.