6. Chapter Six
Chapter Six
Slate
Though I’ve spent my entire existence alone and have been content with it, I find the nights in this house lonely. Something about being down here by myself, with the other three upstairs sharing a bed together, has me wanting it. Yet, I don’t know what is stopping me.
It’s been a week since Lexia invited me to bed with them for the first time, and she’s done the same every night since. Every night, I give her the same answer. And I have no idea why. I want to say yes. But something stops those words from coming out of my mouth. A strange feeling in my chest that I’ve never felt before. It’s so foreign I don’t know how to explain what it is. Since being here, meeting them, learning I have a mate and am part of this prophecy, there have been many things inside of me changing. Many feelings I am not used to. I’m not sure I like it. It has me overthinking every choice I make, every word out of my mouth, every interaction with them. I’ve never done that before. I’ve never worried about anything. I did whatever I wanted, when I wanted, and that was that. My existence was for balance. As long as I kept that balance, I was fine. But now? Now?! Now my life is worth something. It has meaning to others. More than a slight shift in balance. It’s worth everything . There is suddenly a giant weight responsibility on my shoulders. A responsibility I never asked for. One I never expected to come my way. Perhaps that is my fault for not remembering the prophecy.
I recall hearing humans talking about all the responsibility they have. Complaining about work. Their marriage. Kids. Parents. School. All sorts of things would come out of their mouths while we sat around bars and got drunk. And I’d laugh to myself because I didn’t have to deal with any of that. I didn’t understand it, and could not grasp why these people would choose to do these things if they were so terrible. But now I think I do. Of course, not fully. But I am starting to understand why they choose to deal with things that cause them stress, and it’s terrifying.
Lexia said I could never let her down. I’m not sure that’s true. I have no idea what I’m doing here. I don’t know what it means to be someone’s mate. I don’t even know what it means to live as a human for more than a day or two. Getting used to that alone is taking some time, and I suddenly feel bad for teasing Vesperon over it. Yet, I refuse to speak of this because I don’t want them to think I’m foolish.
But even after all of this worry and uncertainty, I know I want to do this.
So why can’t I? No, why won’t I?
Something sharp tapping on glass pulls my attention toward the front of the house. The large shadow outside the window has me getting up and going outside.
“What are you doing here?” I hiss.
“You are running out of time,” it says in a low voice.
“No, I am not. I told you this would take time. There was never a limit.” I cut my hand through the air, showing my dominance toward this creature, even though I do not feel it.
“There is one now,” it warns.
“You can’t—”
The shadow steps closer to me, trying to intimidate me, but I am not afraid of these creatures. They can’t do anything to me.
But they can do things to her…
“We will kill him if you do not do as we say,” it growls.
“I don’t know why you think it matters to me.”
I raise my chin, trying to play off like none of this matters. That it’s an inconvenience and nothing more. But we both know that isn’t true. If it were true, I wouldn’t be here right now.
“It matters to your mate. She only just got her father back. Will she be so happy knowing you let him die so soon? Especially in this lifetime when she has a chance to actually get to know him.”
I grit my teeth, my hands balling to a fist. I wish I had magic to blast this thing into tiny pieces.
The shadow steps back without a work, smirking as he disappears into the trees.
I run a hand through my hair, staring out into the abyss, annoyed with the reminder that this is why I am refusing to get close with them. If they find out what I am doing, they will be devastated. And it will all be my fault.