Chapter 38
Sienna wasn’t one of those typical LA barely there girls, neither in body, nor in attitude. She was the kind of person who filled a room, who drew the eye and—in Justine’s case—infinitely more than just the eye.
Sienna’s tongue slid along Justine’s most intimate parts, like a paintbrush that, with just a few expert strokes, can produce a perfect image that didn’t exist before. Sienna was licking Justine straight into seventh heaven again, yet it felt like a brand-new sensation. Because Justine had just told Sienna that she loved her—and Sienna had said the same to her.
Granted, saying those three words moments before her fingers were about to slide inside Sienna’s soft wetness was perhaps a touch dramatic, but it was all the more reason for Justine to say them then. Because this was how it had all begun. Some innocent flirting at Min-ji’s. Sienna’s unexpected reciprocation. The drive to Justine’s house. The hot sex with a movie star that, in hindsight, had perhaps overwhelmed Justine much more than she could ever admit to anyone, herself included. Justine Blackburn was not the sort to be impressed by movie stars, not even the one chosen to play her best friend and ex-partner Rochelle—who had once changed her life forever, and infinitely for the better.
Now Sienna was having the same effect on Justine’s life all over again. As though playing Rochelle had paved the way for that. As though making ‘that fucking movie’ as Justine had referred to Gimme Shelter a bit too often, had made that possible. Every tiny thing that had happened had played its part and was responsible for Justine lying between Sienna’s million thread count sheets in her bed that was big enough for three.
Justine might have claimed, in her hardened way, that closure was bullshit and agreeing to a movie being made about her life was not about that, yet it had brought her something so much more life-changing than closure. It had planted Sienna Bright right in the middle of her existence—and that after she’d already sold her life rights.
From the very beginning, Sienna had made it feel easy—as if it was nothing—for Justine to let herself be loved. Something, according to Rochelle at least, Justine had never been capable of before. Look at her now. Legs wide, Sienna’s gorgeous body bent toward her, her hair fanning out over her belly. Justine’s body on the way to climax—without hesitation or even a hint that it might not happen, unlike that first time they’d slept together.
It may forever remain a mystery how she did it, and why, but Sienna had succeeded in dismantling the walls around her heart at exactly the right time—when Justine was ready for it. When Gimme Shelter was being shot. Maybe, for that reason, it could only ever have been her. Maybe that’s why Justine had flirted with her so brazenly that first evening when they’d met. Maybe she and Sienna were just two people who were meant to meet at exactly the time they met, although Justine would never be able to fully believe that. What she could believe—what she had no choice but to believe—was that life was unpredictably magnificent one moment and viciously cruel the next. That the ebbs and flows of it were inevitable and that, finally, on the cusp of fifty-five, she was ready to face those ups and downs with someone else by her side.
She allowed Sienna into her life—into her arms and her bed—day after day. She made time for her, although she didn’t have to try that hard because Sienna was at the shelter with her almost every day.
Sometimes, Justine even talked about her parents, about the years of her life before she left home, and about the girl she was back then. Sienna was unafraid to ask a hard question and, with Sienna, Justine found, more often than not, the power to reply. Although talking about those times would never be easy. Making ‘their movie’ might have changed Justine’s life—and Sienna’s, for that matter—but her history could never be altered. It didn’t have to be. All Justine’s dreams had come true nonetheless.
How could Justine not feel like the luckiest person alive with Sienna Bright’s tongue twirling between her legs? Sienna, who was so audacious and, when it came to certain things, so deliciously without qualms. Justine would never forget those very simple, direct words she had spoken when they’d only just met. “I like you and I like sex.” A few hours before Sienna had spoken those irresistible words, Justine had never even met her. She’d never seen a movie she was in. Sienna Bright was still more a concept to her than an actual person. Hours later, that very same person had been in her bed and she had kept coming back. Most surprising of all: Justine had let her.
She had opened her arms wide in the middle of that dark night when Sienna came knocking on her door, and they had remained open since. Sienna needed her then, but Justine had needed her too. And being part of Gimme Shelter had, for the first time in Justine’s life, given her enough strength to be vulnerable—vulnerable enough to let another human pierce the concrete around her heart. And what a human Sienna was.
Tonight, in Sienna’s bed, Justine was plenty vulnerable enough to let a climax roar through her. A warm, pulsing glow spread through her. The world narrowed to the riot coursing inside her. The sensation was as overwhelming as Sienna saying she loved her, as though Sienna’s words had instantly increased Justine’s body’s capacity for joy. Ever since she had come into her life, Sienna had increased that capacity in every aspect of it.
The kids’ smiles whenever Sienna visited the shelter had a direct line to Justine’s heart. To just sit with her on the couch after a long day, to feel Sienna’s presence next to her, was such a simple but profound pleasure. To catch secret glimpses of the look on Sienna’s face when they watched one of her movies together—that special blend of pride and expectation and doubt—was positively addictive. But to know that Sienna loved her, despite everything they’d both gone through, was the biggest joy of all.
Sienna also had an extremely deft tongue and Justine’s muscles tensed, then gloriously released, leaving her breathless. Her heart hammered against her chest, each beat echoing the deep, satisfying love that unfurled within her. All Justine’s nerves were buzzing, until slowly, the waves receded, leaving a tender calm in their wake.
Sienna crawled up to her, that devilish smile on her lips, her chin glistening with Justine’s wetness, and Justine opened her arms again. She closed them around this gorgeous, sensational woman that she loved so much, not intending to ever let her go again.
Justine stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the cuffs of her glittery suit that Sienna loved so much. The reflection staring back at her was confident, poised, and ready for Maxine’s birthday celebration. Sienna emerged from the bathroom, a vision in her elegant dress, and they shared a moment of silent admiration.
“You look stunning,” Justine said.
Sienna smiled her irresistible confident smile. “You don’t look half bad yourself.”
They moved toward each other, but just as their lips were about to meet, Justine’s phone buzzed on the dresser. She glanced at the screen and saw Darrel’s name flashing. Her heart skipped a beat.
“Hey, Darrel, what’s up?” she answered.
Darrel’s voice was strained. “We’ve got a situation with Lila. She’s barricaded herself in the toilets. She’s breaking things, crying, and won’t let anyone near her.”
Justine felt the familiar pull, the instinct to rush to the shelter and take control. It was a feeling she knew all too well, a drive that had shaped her life for as long as she could remember.
She looked over at Sienna, who was putting on her earrings, her face showing a flicker of concern. Justine knew Sienna accepted her commitment to the shelter, but she would not be happy if their plans were derailed by another crisis Justine believed only she could solve.
Taking a deep breath, Justine made a decision. “Darrel, I need you to handle this. Call Taylor; she’s experienced with these kinds of situations. She’s built a rapport with Lila over the past few weeks. I trust you both to manage things until I can check in later.”
There was a pause at the other end—a moment of surprised silence. “Are you sure?” Darrel asked. “You always handle these situations yourself.”
“Yes, I’m sure. Keep me updated, but I’m not coming in tonight. I have plans with Sienna, and I need to be there for her.”
She ended the call and turned to see Sienna watching her, a mixture of surprise and relief in her eyes. Justine walked over and took Sienna’s hands in hers, feeling the warmth of her skin, the gentle strength in her fingers.
“You’re staying?” Sienna asked softly.
Justine nodded, her throat tight with emotion. “Tonight, I’m choosing us. Darrel and Taylor can handle it. I want— I need —to be with you and your family.”
Sienna’s eyes shimmered as she leaned in and kissed Justine. It wasn’t a kiss of passion, but one of gratitude and love, a recognition of the significance of this moment. Warmth spread through Justine—a sense of rightness and balance that had eluded her for so long.
As they left for Maxine’s party, peace settled over Justine. She knew she wouldn’t change overnight, that there would still be struggles and moments of tension. But this was a step, a conscious choice to prioritize the woman she loved, to find a way to be true to both her life’s work and her heart.
She could be there for Sienna and still be committed to the shelter. It wasn’t all or nothing; it was about finding the moments that mattered and choosing love when it counted. As she walked hand in hand with Sienna into the celebration, Justine knew that this was one of those moments.
Tonight, she was exactly where she needed to be.