Chapter 19
Maya
The next morning, I wake up completely paralyzed.
Graham has his massive arms wrapped around me so tightly it feels like he’s trying to fuse our lungs together so I can never take a breath that doesn’t belong to him.
Yet, he has never looked more relaxed. The creases that usually furrow his forehead and harden the edges of his mouth have smoothed out in sleep.
I slept with my sister’s ex-husband.
I let him pump his sperm into my womb.
I am not as good and pure as I used to imagine myself to be.
I am just as bad as Valeria.
She let the darkness swallow her whole until she went crazy, while I tried to bury my own deep in the dirt—but the darkness always finds a way to bleed through.
It takes me fifteen minutes to untangle myself from his limbs without waking him. Once I’m free, I wash the scent of our sin from my skin, and when I go to get dressed, I reach for the diamond jewelry he bought me yesterday.
I walk out wearing easily $400,000 worth of jewels, and I don’t even know why. Maybe because, for the first time in my miserable life, I tasted what it felt like to be someone, and I’m terrified to let it go. Or maybe… maybe I want to spite the woman I’m going to see today.
My sister.
I only know which asylum she’s locked inside because I bartered for the information, exchanging a blowjob with Graham just to ensure she got a luxury suite.
Do I regret it?
No.
At the end of the day, she’s still my blood.
But why do I feel this toxic itch to spite her?
I don’t know.
Every step I take makes me ache between the legs. The ache gets even worse as I gingerly sneak down the staircase, grab the keys to the Porsche, and slip out into the driveway.
I effectively stole my sister’s life.
But what if this life was always supposed to be mine? What if Valeria just stole it from me for the first few months?
I input the asylum’s coordinates into the GPS and coast up to the security gates, waiting to see if the guards will lock me in.
They don’t.
The iron gates swing open smoothly.
I’ve always had the feeling that I am free to come and go from the mansion exactly as I please. Graham loves the chase, after all.
When I park and walk inside the asylum, my heart feels like it’s going to explode and take out some of my organs with it.
I give the receptionist my name and tell her who I’m here to see.
She offers a grim look.
“She’s been incredibly volatile. Are you sure you want to go in alone?”
“I can handle her,” I say. “I’ve been handling her for the past twenty-something years.”
I am led down to the visitation room. When Valeria’s eyes land on me, she instantly throws herself against the glass partition separating us.
“Is this how you treat me?” I ask through the little intercom speaker as I take a seat on the metal chair. “I got you that room upgrade, Valeria.”
She sneers.
“You’re the fucking reason I’m in here in the first place!”
Even at her absolute worst, she is still beautiful. Her hair has grown out quickly, the dark roots showing through the bleached blonde, the length spilling all the way to her knees. But without access to Botox and fillers, her features have softened. Looking angelic.
“Don’t blame me,” I say. “It was your choice to marry him.”
Where the hell is this backbone coming from?
Valeria’s eyes track me from head to toe.
“Covered in jewels, I see,” she spits. “Enjoying my husband, Maya? Enjoying the life you stole from me?”
I slowly shake my head.
Anger consumes me at the word stole.
He was never hers.
“We both know he only married you to get closer to me, Valeria.”
Valeria stands up, slamming both palms against the glass and screaming obscenities at me.
Down the hall, the security guards move to cut the session short.
I raise a hand toward them, my eyes never leaving my sister.
“I’ve got this.”
I watch her crash out until she completely runs out of fuel.
Why the hell did I ever let her intimidate me? She looks so incredibly small behind that glass. And despite the ugly urge I felt earlier to put her down the exact way she’s put me down my entire life… my compassion ultimately wins.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper into the mic.
Valeria wipes a string of saliva from her cracked lips.
“I know you’ve fucked him, Maya. You walked in here with his marks all over you. Like an absolute slut.”
The new voice inside my head—the one Graham planted there—screams at me to fight back.
“Yes, I did,” I say, lifting my chin. “And he’s really good in bed, Valeria. Not that you would know anything about that. He never touched you, did he?”
Valeria’s face turns ghostly pale.
“Your own husband wouldn’t share your bed,” I press on. “He was too busy looking at your sister instead. Fantasizing about me. Like you were absolutely nothing.”
The moment the words leave my mouth, I clap a hand over my lips. It feels like the literal fires of hell are licking at my soul. I am going to hell for this.
“I’m sorry, Valeria,” I splutter desperately. “I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean it. I swear to God, I didn’t mean to say that.”
Valeria slowly turns sideways, refusing to look at me.
“Just leave,” she chokes out. “You won, Maya. You got the money, you got the man, you got the house. Just leave now.”
“I’m sorry for everything, Valeria,” I sigh. “I’m sorry we could never just be sisters. I’m so, so sorry…”
“Your sorries mean absolutely nothing to me, Maya,” she whispers. “I just wish you were never born.”
If I had never been born, that definitely would have been a better outcome for Valeria.
She would have had the spotlight and the unburdened life she always wanted.
But for the first time…
I realize I don’t care.
I am here.
I exist.
And I am not going anywhere.
“I’m sorry, again,” I say. “I’ll talk to Graham. I’ll tell him to let you out of here.”
Valeria’s head snaps toward the intercom.
“You? You will tell my husband to let me out?”
“Ex-husband,” I scream back for the very first time.
The iron door immediately clicks open behind me.
Two guards step into the room.
“Ma’am, the session is over. You need to leave right now.”
I don’t put up a fight.
I turn my back on her and begin to walk toward the exit. Valeria lunges at the glass one last time. She leans close to the speaker.
“I’ll make you regret this, Maya,” she rasps, an angelic smile on her face. “You and that fucker.”
Part of me is absolutely certain she will.