Chapter 2 #3
“Yeah, earlier. What’s up?” Kwinn asked harsher than she meant to.
Caught off guard by her tone, Jabari was quiet for a few seconds. “Damn. We still beefing?”
“Are we?” Kwinn questioned, leaving it up to him to decide.
“Nah, we’re not. That’s what I wanted to talk about.”
“Okay… I’m listening,” Kwinn said.
Jabari exhaled, and Kwinn braced herself for whatever he was about to say.
“I wanted to apologize.”
She almost sucked her teeth. “For what?”
“For how I’ve been acting.” Jabari sighed again, sorting through the right words to say. “I know I haven’t been showing up in our relationship lately, and you don’t deserve that. I’ve just been frustrated with everything going on, and I been taking it out on you.”
Kwinn nodded, understanding. “I know you’re stressed, Jabari.”
“I know you do. That’s why I feel even worse about it. You haven’t done anything to me but be there like you’ve always been.”
“Mhm. I know I haven’t,” Kwinn let him know.
“I know. And I shouldn’t have dismissed what you were talking about the other morning.” The sincerity in his voice softened her more than she wanted it to, as he continued. “You were just trying to tell me about work, and I was being an asshole.”
“You were.”
He chuckled, quietly. “Yeah. I was.”
Kwinn didn’t laugh with him. Jabari cleared his throat.
“I’m sorry, though. For real.”
She took a breath. “I appreciate you for apologizing.”
“I don’t want you thinking I don’t care about what you have going on.”
“You haven’t been acting like you care.”
“I know, but I promise to do better. You looked like you wanted to beat my ass.” Jabari chuckled, lightening the mood.
Kwinn smiled this time because he was correct.
She’d never put her hands on a man, at least not first, but even then, she had a gang full of men in her life who’d quickly and gladly do the honors for her.
Jabari just didn’t know how close he was to getting hands, feet, and possibly some steel put to his ass.
“I did want to slap you, but you know that’s not me. I just need you to hear me, okay? And listen. I shouldn’t feel like this is a one-sided relationship. I deserve more than that. More than what you’ve been giving me.”
Despite all the frustration she’d felt throughout the week, she still didn’t want to throw away three years of loving someone because they’d hit a rough patch.
She wanted Jabari to get himself together.
She wanted him to be the man she’d fallen in love with again, and some part of her still believed he could be.
“I hear you loud and clear, baby. I promise. This trade shit should be over soon, and you won’t have to hear my mouth about it anymore,” Jabari said.
Kwinn chuckled. “Yeah, right. But, okay. I’ma hold you to that.”
“So we good?” Jabari asked, smiling. “I missed you like crazy, girl. Put a nigga out the crib and everything.”
Kwinn laughed. “Who’s fault is that?”
“Mine, but it’s all good. When we get married, ain’t gon’ be none of that.”
Kwinn’s brows dipped. He hadn’t brought up the word marriage or even hinted at it in so long; the word sounded foreign coming from his mouth. Not wanting to start an argument, Kwinn didn’t feed into the topic.
“Mhm. I hear you. But we’re good, though.”
Jabari sighed with relief. “A’ight, a’ight. That’s all I needed to hear. So, what you do today?”
She could hear the smile in his voice, and she subconsciously smiled too.
Kwinn shared how her day had gone, and he listened without interrupting.
She knew this one conversation wasn’t enough to erase everything that happened, and one apology didn’t miraculously fix months of distance, but it was a start.
It made her feel like she wasn’t fighting for their relationship by herself.
They talked for a good hour and some change, making up for the week and seemingly everything in between. Kwinn yawned into the phone and was now snuggled deep under her duvet. “Babe,” she called out.
“What’s up? You ready to go to bed?” Jabari asked.
“Mhm. I can’t keep my eyes open.”
“A’ight. I’ma let you get some sleep. I’ll be through there tomorrow. Maybe we can hit the town or something,” he suggested.
“Un, un,” Kwinn mumbled, disagreeing. “I’m going out tomorrow night.”
“A’ight, well, whenever you have time.”
With her eyes closed, Kwinn frowned. Before today, Jabari would’ve asked her a hundred questions or at least would’ve asked where she was going. Too sleepy to press him about his strange behavior, Kwinn just yawned and agreed.
“Okay. Sunday is fine,” she said.
“A’ight. Sunday it is then.”
“Okay.”
“Love you.”
Kwinn hesitated for only a second. “Love you too.”
When the call ended, she laid still for a moment before setting her phone on the wireless charger on her nightstand.
She wasn’t going to pretend the conversation hadn’t affected her because it had.
Kwinn was interested in making things right with Jabari or at least seeing if they could get back to the place they’d once been, but she wasn’t throwing away her plans for tomorrow night to be the dutiful girlfriend.
She needed a night out, and by Sunday, the brief time away from Jabari would give her enough space to figure out whether she really wanted to fight for their relationship.
For now, she wasn’t making that decision.
Her daddy and anyone else expecting an update on her relationship would just have to wait.