40. A heavy responsibility
Forty
A HEAVY RESPONSIBILITY
Liv
Iwake before dawn, wrapped in Luke’s arms, his stomach pressed against my back. His breath tickles the back of my neck, and I take a moment to relish the feeling of being held this way. It’s safe and comforting. It’s… right.
What am I saying?
I need to move, to put some space between us and this growing feeling. Growing attached is dangerous. I’m leaving soon, and even if I weren’t… I know how this story ends.
I slip out of Luke’s arms, check he’s still asleep, grab my clothes and the blanket from last night, and tiptoe downstairs.
The morning air is crisp and cool on my cheeks as I find myself back in the lawn chair from the night before. It’s so quiet out here. Waves lap gently against the shore as the sky bleeds from deep blue to a pinkish purple.
Last night was.... My mind wanders back to lying in bed, our bodies tangled together in a mess of limbs while Luke traced lazy circles along my shoulder.
We crossed a line last night, and then sleep quickly became an afterthought.
Memories flickered through my mind, bringing my attention to all the places my body felt sore in the best possible way.
I don’t remember when we finally drifted to sleep.
Most nights when I fall asleep, I’m restless with thoughts about work, plagued with worries about being alone forever. Not last night. Last night I fell asleep purely content. Fully at peace. It makes me nervous feeling so comfortable and content in Luke’s arms.
The door opens quietly. I turn to find Luke clad in sweats and a t-shirt, hair tousled from sleep. A deep affection blooms in my chest, and my heart rate kicks up a notch. He looks adorably sexy when he first wakes up.
“Hey, gorgeous.” His voice is thick with sleep. “Trying to catch the sunrise, huh?”
“Thought it might be nice, yeah. I couldn’t sleep anymore anyway. You’re like a damn furnace.”
He wedges in behind me, like he did last night, and pulls me into his body. “Sucks for you, because I’m gonna hold you here, just like I did last night. Don’t give a shit if I give off too much body heat.”
My body melts into his embrace, loving the feeling of being wrapped up in him.
“Fine,” I groan, and he chuckles in my ear.
The sky blooms pink, slowly brightening into yellows and blues as the sun lifts above the tree line. Small dinghy-type boats putter out into the lake, fishing poles propped up on the inside.
“What’s your favorite color?” Luke asks, breaking through the silence of the morning.
“Purple. Why?”
“Like a light purple or a deep purple?”
“Um… deep purple, I think. Why?” I turn my face to look at him, but he’s watching the sunrise.
“Just wondering. I know a lot about your work, your grandparents, your mom, but I don’t know a lot of the little things that make you, you. So, I thought I’d ask.”
Oh. My heart stutters.
“What’s your favorite color?” I ask.
“Hm… that’s a tough one. I like green, but not just one shade of green. Like all shades of green, except lime. That’s too bright.” His face scrunches. “Favorite food? No, wait… I already know that one. Croissants.”
“Not just any croissants. Claire’s croissants.”
“Yours?”
“I love a steak with lobster. I never get to have it, but if I’m in a restaurant that serves it, I’ll get it every time.”
“Quite the elevated palate, sir,” I tease, knowing if we were in a restaurant that served surf and turf, I’d one hundred percent choose that as my dinner too.
“Ever wish you had siblings?” he asks softly, as if treading on thin ice.
“Not really. I always had Viv. She was as much a sister to me growing up as if I’d had one of my own. So, I guess I never felt the loneliness I imagine being an only child might bring. What about you? Do you like having so many siblings?”
“I love it. They make me crazy, don’t get me wrong, but they’re my family. Family is everything.”
“Have you always wanted to stay here?”
Luke is quiet for an extended moment, contemplative.
“I love this town. I love my family. Before my dad died—when he was really sick but still home—we were sitting on the porch together in the rocking chairs, and he told me he was trusting me to take care of this family for him when he was gone because he wouldn’t be there to do it. He needed to know someone would.”
“That feels like a heavy responsibility.” I tilt my head toward him and see the distant look in his eyes as he remembers the moment. He didn’t answer my question, a fact that’s not lost on me.
“Yeah. I wake up every day, hoping I make him proud. I’d like to believe I am, but who knows, really?”
“Well, you’re still here, looking after everyone, right? That’s saying something.”
Luke turns his face toward mine, our noses inches apart.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
My stomach flutters. I need to be careful. Being around Luke feels just a little too good.