Chapter 30
“Emmett, my god! You’re skeletal.” Abby gawped at him across the restaurant lobby, her mouth an open U of disbelief.
It was the exact reaction Emmett had been looking forward to for weeks.
He hadn’t seen his family since he started taking Obexity, and Abby’s last-minute dinner invitation had been too good an opportunity to pass up.
“You’re so skinny,” she continued, stepping toward him. Emmett pretended not to hear the note of alarm in her voice. Their unpadded cheekbones knocked as they hugged. She drew back, gripping his arms, scanning him up and down. “Are you sick?”
“Come on.”
“But you’ve lost so much weight. Last time I saw you—”
Eager to avoid a conversation that might lead to a violation of his NDA, Emmett turned to greet his half brother and sister-in-law. Chris regarded him with a sudden jolt. “Jeez, Emmett, you’re lookin’—lookin’ pretty trim.”
The color drained from Jayla’s face. “You look great,” she warbled.
Emmett was relieved when Aaron walked through the door.
He seemed to have come straight from the museum, still in his work clothes, stress and exhaustion etched around his eyes.
He came over and Emmett kissed him hello.
“Everyone,” Emmett said to his siblings and their partners, pausing as Abby continued to murmur something that sounded suspiciously like Do you think it’s opiates? “I’d like you to meet Aaron.”
One by one the others introduced themselves. The vibe was friendly but awkward, everyone clearly distracted by the elephant no longer in the room. “I hear congratulations are in order,” Aaron said, shaking Abby’s hand.
“Hm? Oh yeah. Thanks.”
“Come on, Ab, toot your horn a little,” said her partner, Mark, a red-haired business consultant and marathon runner from Massachusetts.
Emmett had always liked him, not least because he routinely ordered double portions.
“It’s not every day you win a landmark case.
She wanted to stay in, but I told her we need to round up the gang and celebrate. ”
“Absolutely,” Aaron agreed.
“Were you able to get hold of Nino?” Abby asked Chris.
“He can’t make it. Working late.”
“Speaking of opiates.” Abby rolled her eyes.
A moment later Mark’s and her friends Shivani and Kumail arrived, completing their party. The final introductions were made, and the host escorted them to their table.
As Emmett followed, he caught Abby appraising him. Her face was like an oozing gash, inadequately closed by the smile stitched over it.
The restaurant was Abby’s favorite, upscale, French-American fusion.
Too expensive for Emmett, too chic. At one time, he would’ve felt like he stood out.
His was a body built for Chili’s or the Cheesecake Factory.
Making the most of the special occasion and his more inconspicuous physique, he ordered the largest piece of meat on the menu, a twenty-two-ounce rib eye cooked blue.
“Oh please,” Abby said once the waiter had gone.
“What?” Emmett reached for the bread basket.
“I mean.” Her eyes flicked around, inviting the others to back her up. “I’m just saying. Clearly you’re not ordering like that every day.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“It’s not.”
“Honey—” Mark said to no avail.
“What’s going on, Em? Don’t tell me you’re back on that hCG thing.”
“Haven’t you seen his Instagram?” Chris said. “Our little bro’s been killing it at the gym.”
“You know I don’t do social media,” Abby snapped.
“He’s famous,” Jayla said. “He has like twelve thousand followers.”
“Wow,” Shivani said.
Aaron put his arm around Emmett, glowing. “And all in what, four, five months?”
“But how—” Abby said, before Shivani cut her off, phone in hand.
“What’s your handle?”
“I just changed it. It’s thetrueme.by.emmett.t.”
“This is great,” Shivani said a moment later, scrolling through his grid. “I need some weight loss inspo. I’ve been trying to shift these ten pounds since Dev was born.”
“I do coaching too,” Emmett said.
“Oh god,” drawled Abby, about to drain her merlot. Her expression shifted under everyone’s stares, and she lowered her glass. “I just don’t get the whole social media thing. All those airbrushed photos and sponsored posts. It just seems so curated. So superficial.”
“Isn’t all social interaction curated and superficial?” said Kumail.
“Parts of it might be,” Emmett said. “But just because something’s curated doesn’t mean it isn’t real. I get DMs every day from people saying my content inspires them or gives them hope or makes them cringe. Those reactions are real. The way they make me feel is real.”
“But those people don’t know you. Who cares what they think?”
“When the girls at school used to make fun of you for being fat, they didn’t know—”
“Okay,” Jayla said. “Abby, this is your night. Tell us about your court case!”
Emmett stewed, and not just about losing the spotlight. Who was Abby to give him a hard time about his eating? She’d struggled with eating disorders through most of her teens. She might pretend to be a health nut now, but everyone knew that was Mark’s doing.
Eventually the conversation circled round to Aaron. Everyone was interested in his job at the museum. “That must be so fun,” Shivani said.
“It can be. We have a new education manager and things have been a little…” He paused, checking Emmett’s expression. “I’ll just say it: the girl’s an idiot.” A ripple of surprise and guilty laughter went around the table.
“Serves you right,” Emmett said.
“What do you mean?” Jayla asked.
“Emmett didn’t tell you?” Aaron said. “He was in the running for the job. Unfortunately it didn’t work out.”
“But it brought you together?” said Shivani. “Seems like it worked out pretty well to me.”
“Right,” Aaron said. “I mean, so far it has.”
“Why didn’t Emmett get the job?” interjected Abby, lips red with the dregs of her second glass of wine.
Aaron faltered. “Oh, well. You know what a crapshoot hiring can be.”
She shrugged, her expression obstinate. “Not really.”
“Ab,” Emmett said.
“Just wondering. It sounds like something Emmett would be perfect for.”
“I got promoted at work. I got Aaron. It all worked out like it was supposed to.” Emmett’s expression was a wordless Shut up.
This was why he didn’t let Abby into his life more.
There was no predicting whether she was going to be on his side or dead set against him.
Her loyalty seemed to change minute to minute.
He needed the restroom but held off as the entrées were delivered, the arrival of a pound and a half of bloody meat overwhelming all other bodily urges.
He could hardly control himself, wolfing down the steak in ragged, sawed-off chunks, welcoming the discomfort of his fullness.
Fullness but not satisfaction. His hunger was abating, but somehow his craving for meat intensified.
He might even need to stop somewhere on the way home.
Finally, the steak stripped to the bone and his plate all but clean, Emmett excused himself for the men’s room.
He ran through a list of convenient fast-food options in his head as he peed: Jack in the Box, McDonald’s, a handful of taco shops. None of them appealed like they usually did. His body yearned for something else. He couldn’t put a finger on what.
Finished, he washed his hands and pushed open the door, halting at the sight of a thin, dark-haired woman darting away as if she’d been standing right outside the door. “Abby?” he called out. She didn’t answer, practically running back to the table.
With a cold wave of realization, he strode after her, his fists clenched.
“What the hell?” he said as he rejoined the table.
“What?” Abby avoided his eye, taking her fork back up and picking at her food.
“Don’t pretend. You were listening outside the bathroom door, weren’t you? Spying on me.”
Mark laughed, then said, “Were you?”
Cheekbones jutted through her tight, agitated expression.
She leaned back and took a deep slug of wine.
“I’m sorry, okay? But when your brother drops a hundred pounds in three months, binges a huge meal, then immediately runs to the bathroom, what am I supposed to think? That’s textbook bulimic behavior.”
“You would know,” Emmett said, plunging the table into shocked silence.
“Hey now,” Mark said.
“No. She’s been making jabs at me all night. It’s totally hypocritical. I have an eating disorder? I’m not the one they used to call Abirexia in high school.”
Jayla gasped and Shivani dropped her fork. They regarded Abby with stunned concern before she got up and hurried away from the table.
Jayla and Shivani followed.
An awful silence stretched before the men, guilt knotting Emmett’s guts. He had taken it too far, only meant to give her a taste of her own medicine.
“What was that about, Emmett?” Mark said, angrier than Emmett had ever heard him.
“Look, I’m sorry but—”
“You don’t say stuff like that. Not to a woman.”
The words touched a nerve, with a jolt of pain. “Fuck off,” he spat, snatching to his feet so violently that a water glass spilled. He didn’t pause to right it, already striding toward the exit.
“Have a good night,” the hostess called after him uncertainly as he charged past her station and fled into the parking lot.
Emotion inched up on him as he walked to his car. The moment he’d climbed in and shut the door, he burst into tears.
He didn’t understand it, or how he’d behaved in the restaurant.
A few months ago he would’ve felt so uncomfortable in a place like that he would’ve made himself as small as possible, ordered the cheapest, smallest dish, and swallowed down every bit of criticism his sister threw at him.
More and more he found himself behaving in ways that didn’t feel like him, hurting the people closest to him.
He’d said something shitty to Lizette the other night and had to grovel for her forgiveness.
Then again, maybe they deserved it. All his life he’d been made to feel monstrous. He’d struggled for years, largely without his friends’ and family’s support, and now that he was finally breaking free—finally becoming the best version of himself—all they could do was tear him down.
He just wanted to be seen for who he was, not the weight he used to carry. Would it always be like this? Would people always view him as a body meant to be fat?
Almost unconsciously, Emmett withdrew his phone and checked his notifications, his sobs steadying as he took in the new comments on his most recent before-and-after:
ericfitla Half the size you used to be but double the man!
dkpurcell1 This transformation!!! You’re not even the same person, I refuse to believe it!!!
thefatandthefurious No one can convince me those are the same two people.
papareece95 hey man, i just have to tell you how proud of you i am… the change i’ve seen in you on here, inside and out, is just incredible… the person you were meant to be all along, and i’m just so damn happy for you…
Fresh tears leaked down Emmett’s cheeks. He wished he could reach into his phone and hug them, all twelve thousand of them. His Truepers.
He jumped as a hand knocked on the window.
Emmett sighed guiltily, seeing who it was. He lowered the window. “Hi.”
“How are you?” Aaron said.
“I don’t know… Sorry for embarrassing you in there.”
“Not at all. Your family were being dicks.”
“You think?”
“Totally. You can feel the jealousy coming off them in waves. They wish they looked half as good as you, but they’re old and straight and ruined their bodies with childbirth.”
Emmett snorted. “I like that take.”
“You did stick me with the bill, though.”
“Shit. Sorry. I’ll Venmo you.”
“You doing anything tomorrow night? Want to come over?”
“All right.”
Aaron kissed him through the window and they said good night.
A few minutes later Emmett put his phone away and pulled out of the lot, thinking gratefully of Aaron and his Truepers. How good they could make him feel with just a few words. How their support validated him in a way the people closest to him rarely did.
Who needed family or friends, Emmett thought, when they had the kindness of strangers?
He still had concerns about Obexity after speaking with Dr. Saito, but he couldn’t deny the treatment had transformed his world. The person you were meant to be all along. Was he really going to throw all that away because of a few side effects?
When he got home, he found Lizette texting on the couch, the TV on. “How was dinner?” she said, her voice elevated over the dogs’ excitement.
“Dramatic.”
“?Qué pasó?”
“I’ll tell you in a minute. Need to pee.”
“Mando wants to know if you’ve seen his baseball bat.”
Emmett paused. “Yeah, I borrowed it to practice my backhand. I know that’s tennis,” he added before she could correct him. “What’re you talking about?”
“I guess he started keeping a spare here so he doesn’t have to run home between games, but he says he couldn’t find it anywhere.”
“Haven’t seen it.”
“Go pee. I want to hear about dinner.”
Emmett closed himself in the bathroom. He didn’t really need to go, but what he needed was there and he didn’t want Lizette to give him a hard time. His mind was made up about what he had to do.
He quietly slid open the drawer, riffled around, and found the box hiding under his spare CPAP supplies. Out slid the plastic tray, revealing a set of four injector pens trembling with sky-blue liquid.
No more procrastinating, no more self-doubt. It was time to get this weight off.