TWENTY-EIGHT
AFTER brEAKFAST, everyone was instructed to put on their hiking boots and wrap up warm. It had been a while…
Their troupe left with her uncle leading the way like an intrepid explorer. The man was admirable, he kept the mood, and the pace, high. Couldn’t fault him for trying. Did he know where he was going? It didn’t matter, they marched away from the house into the trees, full of purpose.
Not like she had to worry about getting lost. One man from her past would track her down in no time, if the need arose. Luckily not far inside the tree line the path split and various posts with different colored markers indicated the separate routes. Good, no one’s phone worked out there.
At the head of the pack, her uncle gave a commentary on the trees and plants they passed. She’d never thought of him as a horticulturist. Not that she thought of him often. She wasn’t a very good niece. Maybe he was an expert botanist, what did she know? Which was exactly the point. Everything he was saying could be complete nonsense, that was as much as she knew about the subject. Still, confidence, he sold it well.
Baer and Donoghue were little behind, hopefully discussing exactly how to get Nickson to come clean. The supposed to be happy couple were second in the group, behind her aunt and uncle, leaving her and Holly in third position.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” Holly asked. “Kel and Nickson, do you think he’s telling the truth?”
Oh, she wished for Holly’s optimism. Was he telling Kelly the truth? Possibly, but unlikely. This wasn’t exactly the safest of settings, not just because of listening ears, but if someone decided to storm off in a huff, they could walk themselves off a cliff, or into a bear’s den. Did bears have permanent dens? They would if they were hibernating. Which they should be. Okay, that was the guarantee she’d be staying on the beaten path. What else might they come across?
Hmm, maybe she should’ve done some wilderness research of her own.
“I don’t know.” Get back to it, Holly was expecting an answer. Something she was coming up short on a lot these days. “Only if he’s feeling the pressure.”
“I didn’t see Baer or Donaghue talking to him before we left, did you?”
“No. I wasn’t paying much attention, but Baer was with me upstairs. Unless he did it while I was peeing, I don’t think he’s had the chance. It’s not exactly a quick conversation.”
And while she’d been peeing, with the door slightly ajar, she’d been filling Baer in on what Holly said at the breakfast table. So he better not have been wandering off to speak to Nickson leaving her talking to herself. Couldn’t be, the guy was still there lacing his boots when she came out, she didn’t take that long washing her hands.
“How are things going with you two?” Holly asked. “Don’t need to ask if you’re attracted to each other. I’m surprised the apartment didn’t go on fire. You and Baer… Last night… you did… didn’t you?”
Like it was a foregone conclusion. In fairness, if it wasn’t for her rules they would have. She should’ve expected the question from her cousin sooner.
Her lips curled. “Did you and Donoghue?”
Nothing wrong with a little deflection. Though if Baer was telling Donoghue she was something special, how long would it be until Holly found out this was more than just a screw-fest for them?
“We did… stuff.”
That wasn’t enlightening. “Stuff?”
Holly whimpered. “It’s kind of hard to be around a guy like him and not do… stuff. Especially in bed with him.”
In another circumstance, she might make a quip about Holly getting her money’s worth. Too right, have a little fun. Those responses didn’t fit this time. It didn’t feel right to think about human beings that way. Though, being particularly attached to one, she was biased. All she saw was Baer, and she didn’t think of him like that.
“No reason you shouldn’t enjoy each other.”
True statement. If this was what Holly needed to chase her ex from her system, Donoghue was harmless fun.
“Yeah…” Holly huffed. “Except having my parents right next door kind of puts a damper on things. We want to do stuff… More stuff. I just have to figure out a way to do it without my parents hearing us. You’re lucky. You and Baer’s room is away in the corner. You share a wall with your bathroom, not listening ears.”
And they were choosing not to take advantage of it. That was mature, right? Sensible?
“You don’t have to wait until nighttime,” she suggested. “There are other times and places you can… enjoy each other.”
“Yeah, except my dad’s on this everyone together kick. It’s like being nine all over again. And what is with the fishing thing? Is he really going to teach Donoghue how to fish? Should I feel guilty about this? I don’t want my dad falling in love with the guy, thinking I really have a future with him. ‘Cause that won’t be happening.”
Would’ve been nice if Holly considered that eventuality before they went to all this trouble. She restrained a sigh. Hadn’t her cousin said she wanted her family to like the guy? Now she was upset that they did.
“What’s the harm in your dad making a new friend? And Donoghue will learn a new skill. Something else for his resume.” What did he do outside Squires? Not her business. “We can’t exactly ban them from spending time together.” And maybe if the men were occupied with each other, it would take a little pressure off feeling like they should constantly be taking action. “Besides, it will die down when Alan shows up later. Your dad’s just looking for a buddy while his son’s not around.”
“Mom asked me what was going on with Kel and Nickson. Talk about awkward dodge. She said Kelly won’t tell her.”
“Just say it’s not your place. That you don’t know the details.”
Which wasn’t entirely a lie. Though it would be more difficult for Kelly to tell her mother anything given she knew less than her sister.
“Maybe that’s why dad’s sticking to Donoghue. We don’t have drama.”
They also didn’t have a real relationship. Rather than Donoghue, they should be concerned about her uncle bonding with someone else prematurely.
“Do you think your dad likes Nickson?”
“I don’t know, Nickson was too busy ignoring Kelly this morning to really talk to anyone. The guy’s got some nerve. He caused this. Yet she’s getting all the grief for it, and she doesn’t even know why.”
There was a little grief trickling out elsewhere too.
“We have to give him the benefit of the doubt. There’s still a chance Kelly will marry him, you said he could be the father of her children, you realize that means he’ll be the father of your nieces and nephews? They get married, and there’s a good chance he’ll be a part of your life long-term. Give the guy a break. Maybe he’s not proud of his past. We don’t know what he did for Squires. I don’t know if he’s experienced trauma or heartache, he didn’t expect this to be landed on him. He didn’t expect to see his former colleagues on a family vacation with his new in-laws.”
“You’re too kind. You put up with too much BS from people. You think he’s traumatized by having this landed on him? You want to give him a chance? All I see is a liar. All I see is a guy who probably had no intention of ever telling my sister the truth. Do I feel sorry that his hand’s been forced? No. Not if it saves my sister from getting her heart broken. I think about her trauma, her heartache.”
And that was a perfectly valid position. Holly was protective of her sibling, as she should be.
Someone snagged her hand and she was tugged away from her cousin at a quickening pace. Baer. He was taking her off the path, into the trees, away from the group.
“Uh… Hound… Where are we going? What’s happening?” He didn’t answer, just weaved around trees, stretching the distance between them and the others. Lost in the wilderness. Wasn’t this exactly what she promised herself wouldn’t happen? “Where are we going? The others will look for us.”
And if they got eaten by a bear, it would be on her. Damn Kinloch. It wasn’t like she’d never slept in the woods before. But when with a man made of the dirt and the leaves and the glorious fresh air, she didn’t have to pay attention or be concerned with anything.
Baer halted and swung her around, yanking her arm so she fell against him as he pinned her between himself and a tree trunk.
“No, they won’t. Donoghue knows where we are.”
He crouched to kiss her. The rough bark caught in her hair as she tipped her head back to enjoy the juxtaposition of his warm slick mouth contradicting the solid monolith behind her.
She pushed just a little. “I don’t want to wake any bears.”
On an exhaled laugh, one of his brows twitched. “Only one Baer.”
“No,” she said, giving him another light push. “I mean actual bears. There will be bears around here. They’ll be sleeping. I don’t want to wake them up.”
He tucked some loose strands of hair away from her temple. “You’re scared of bears?”
“Never used to be. Never had to be. Never been anywhere like this without…”
“Without…?” Easing back, he interlaced their fingers and drew her away from the tree. “This is supposed to be our vacation too. That’s why I took you from the others. We’ve spent enough time on them already. Forget their drama, let’s enjoy each other.” Tempting. And why should she resist? He was right. “So everything on the table. Without…?”
“Kinloch Gramercy-Peake.” She stepped over a branch and onto a leaf, enjoying their new leisurely pace. Still they were going a different way to the family group, but if Donoghue knew where they were going, Baer must too. How could he have told him otherwise? “A guy I used to date. This is his idea of heaven.”
Roughly. His idea of heaven would be a few more miles, try a few hundred more, from civilization, but the trees, the critters, the nature, yeah, this was all him.
“Here? This place?”
“Not here specifically, somewhere like here. Anywhere without people. Where all he has to do is survive. He is a no drama kind of guy too. Though, truthfully, I don’t know if it’s the nature or the peace he loves. He didn’t have a lot of quiet in his life.”
“Sounds like you’re still close.”
And he said that without an ounce of accusation or jealousy. “We write. Always have. Since we were at school.”
There was comfort in the routine, the nostalgia. And plenty of times that she missed him. Not that he’d ever abandon her. His stability had always been a stalwart in her life. Always would be. Somehow she just knew.
“Write? Email?”
“No,” she said on a snicker. “Letters. Old style. Pen and paper, envelopes, stationery. He has a PO box. No one can get to him where he is right now. He disappears so often that his letters usually come in stacks.”
Sometimes she got them one or two at a time. Occasionally. Just depended on where he was and what he was doing. Something even he couldn’t typically predict. Even at the height of his responsibility, when the burden on him was greatest, and his time was precious, she could still rely on his letters. Didn’t matter that they lived in the same city, their correspondence never slowed; it was cathartic.
“What do you talk about? You don’t have to tell me—”
“No, it’s okay. Life. I’d always keep his confidence, as I would any friends’, but these aren’t love letters. Nothing like that.” She drew their joined hands across her body to meet the other. “Sounds ridiculous to say he had a difficult upbringing. In context, it was, everything’s relative. He was born into two dynasties.”
“Shorthand for he’s richer than Fort Knox.” It was nice he said that with a smile. “Don’t worry about me, Skit.”
“Regardless of the great number of people in his life, no one gave a shit about him.”
“Except you. And it pisses you off.”
Damn, she thought she did a good job of keeping her voice even. “How do you know that?”
“Not like you to casually swear in conversation.” No, because she’d been raised better than that. Still, some things were warranted. “You still in love with him?”
“Not in that way. We used to be together, so it sounds weird to say it, but he’s more like my brother than my boyfriend these days. Since before there was romance between us, he’s always been there for me. After my parents…”
“He’s a good guy. That’s good. We should have people, friends, looking out for us.”
Was he truly not threatened? If he wasn’t, it would be a relief. Too many guys got the hump, or lay down ultimatums, when they learned of her continuing relationship with Kinloch. And by guys, she meant Chapman.
Baer was secure, how refreshing. Good thing too, because Kinloch was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to friends looking out for her. She’d save the Roxie conversation for another time. No need to overload the guy.
“Sometimes I can’t figure you out,” she said. “Whether you’re really this calm, patient guy, or if you fall back on your training.”
“Upbringing or training,” he said as he had the day they met. “I don’t act with you. You have to trust me, Lil’’.”
“I do. I don’t worry for myself because I think you’re trying to mislead me on purpose or anything like that. I worry for you.”
“Something you do for everyone. Who looks out for you?”
“Truman. My friends.”
“Maybe I’d like to be on that list too.” And he was. He would be. She’d welcome it. “You want me to go crazy? To tell you to quit the letters, to cut this guy out of your life or we’re through?”
“No. I just wonder sometimes… Do you know you anymore? I worry because I want you to be happy too. I want to make you happy. Something makes you sad or angry, if you’re confused or hurt, I want that honest emotion. You’re used to stifling yourself. Being who women pay you to be…”
When she said it like that, the money that had gone from her bank account to his suddenly felt dirty. It soiled them. She didn’t want him to just give her what he thought she wanted. But maybe it was second nature, could he help it?
“I’m me with you,” he said. “Sure, maybe a little of acting for Squires has rubbed off over the years, or maybe it’s raising two young kids, dealing with my mother’s carers, my father’s therapists, making the tough choices, it’s taught me what’s important in life. Some things are worth getting upset about. Some things are drama for the sake of drama, and that pisses me off.”
Like the nonsense with Nickson and Kelly, he told her last night he had little patience for it.
“You’re right about Nickson. He needs to tell Kelly the truth. Better he tells her now and gets it over with. If everything’s going to fall apart, better sooner than later.”
Which would ease some of Holly’s concern about her dad falling in love with the new men in their lives. If Kelly said that was it, over, would Nickson walk away without a fight? What would that say about the depth of the couple’s love?
Easy to put it so bluntly when she was talking about someone else.
“If he does, and she kicks him out…” Baer said, “do you want me and Donoghue to go too?”