NINETEEN
“IT’S NOT ENOUGH to lock him up,” Struan said. “He has to want it.”
“We’ve had this conversation before,” Zane said.
Zairn exhaled. “Many, many times.”
“They can’t all be Riv success stories,” Tripp said. “You ready to give up on him?”
“Are Breckenridges capable of abandoning anyone in need?” Roxie asked on a smile.
“Privately, maybe, but, you know, Mom gets everywhere. She hears everything.”
Roxie laughed. “Got to love a man still afraid of his momma.”
“Maybe if Roman was afraid of anything, we wouldn’t be in this fucking mess.”
These men weren’t responsible for another man’s actions. Yet the way they sat, each relaxed in their chair, enjoying their drinks in the moonlight, they weren’t the most optimistic bunch.
“It’s not just about the addiction,” she said because someone had to come at it from another angle. “Yes, that’s a disease, that needs treatment, but was he on pills the other night? Is this a true relapse?”
“Roman takes whatever he can get his hands on,” Zairn said.
Struan nodded. “Yeah, he shouldn’t be drinking either.”
“He says he can control it.”
“He says a lot of things.” Struan held a weight on his shoulders that didn’t belong to him, that shouldn’t belong to him. “He doesn’t understand moderation. If he could stop at one…”
Imagine living your whole life in the shadow of another. Of someone who looks exactly like you. Watching them live their life with complete disregard for anyone else. She could almost feel his guilt, his regret. Roman wouldn’t be the only one judged for his actions, Struan had to walk down the street wearing the same face. People wouldn’t give him a break, they’d assume he was his irresponsible brother.
“Did you get along as children?” she asked, curious about the man they hadn’t talked about. “You and your brother?”
“Roman gets along with anyone who puts him first.”
“And you did?”
“He’s spent a lot of time with therapists telling him all the things he missed out on.”
Except it seemed to her, Roman got a lot more than most. “He went into acting and Logan’s this crazy big rockstar…”
Struan’s lips curled, for the first time that night, apparently enjoying the conversation. “So why didn’t I launch myself into fame and fortune?”
“It’s not the first time you’ve heard the question.”
Of course it wasn’t.
His eyes drifted to his cousin. “First time today, that’s something.”
Though she’d only known him, known of him, for a couple of hours, she wouldn’t say he was the shy, retiring type. Quieter maybe than Tripp, definitely quieter than Roxie, he didn’t strike her as meek or passive. Maybe seeing him with Roman would—
Sound carried and everyone piqued. From elsewhere in the house, what was—
“Suck my balls!” someone screamed, okay, Roman screamed.
The voice was familiar now, for all the wrong reasons.
“Oh, well, there’s an invitation,” Roxie said, putting down her drink and uncrossing her legs to sit straight. “Rock, paper, scissors? Tripp, it could fall to you as the only single, non-blood relative at the table.”
Zairn’s hand slid onto her shoulder to draw her back in the seat. “Settle down, Lola.”
“Who said I was single?” Tripp asked.
“Certainly none of the dozen or so women you’re stringing along back home, Priest,” Roxie said, sharing a smile with Tripp.
“Only a dozen?” Zairn murmured under his breath. “You’re slacking, Junior.”
“Is he drunk?” she asked of their uninvited guest.
Zane squeezed her knee. Unfortunately, they were the only two sitting with their backs to the kitchen. To see what was going on, they had to twist, which would give Roman the audience he sought.
True enough, less than a minute later, he appeared at the other side of the kitchen, swaggering toward them.
“Oh, ye, of little faith,” he projected his voice like he was on stage.
“Ro, what—”
“I got the gig,” Roman declared to his brother. “You said I wouldn’t get it—”
“I didn’t say you wouldn’t get it,” Struan said, swinging his glass toward his lips. “I said you’d fuck it up.”
“Seems inevitable,” Roxie murmured.
It wasn’t loud but was enough to gain Roman’s focus. “You know, you’re fucking hot.”
And true to herself, Roxie didn’t falter. “I do know that.”
“The blonde hair, the tits—”
“Are real,” Roxie said, pushing her shoulders back. “Not that you’ll ever get a chance to find out.”
As he approached, her focus returned to the table. He stopped just behind her, prickling the hair at the back of her neck.
“Baby, it would blow your mind.”
Roxie just drew her unimpressed eyes away from him. “At least something would get blown.”
Tension increased with each second that passed. Maybe it was her proximity to him that heightened it, Roxie didn’t seem perturbed.
“You fucking little bitch,” he spat. “Don’t you—”
“Thank you, Ro,” Zairn said, rising to his feet. Roxie’s chin rose with him, watching his ascent. “I’ve been waiting a long fucking time for you to give me an excuse—”
“Z,” Struan said, standing up fast with Dyce not far behind.
Tripp snickered and folded his arm. “Dinner and a show. Who needs Broadway?”
“You know he’s a prick,” Dyce said, rounding her and the table to get closer to Zairn while Struan blocked the other side. “He’s not worth your time. You don’t want to do this now, not now.”
“Let him at it,” Tripp said. “No better fucking place. We’ll lose his body in the ocean. Struan will cover our asses a while.”
Roman wasn’t done with the insults. “What the fuck is a Breckenridge doing at our table anyway?”
“Our table?” Zane asked, incredulous.
Roxie took Zairn’s hand and stood up, pressing herself against him, her fingers tempting his jaw until he looked down at her. The couple needed their moment of privacy, it felt wrong to gawk. And she didn’t need to wait long for another break out.
“You’re so fucking superior—”
“Is that why you came here, Ro?” Struan asked, stepping up to get his brother’s attention. “To insult everyone? We were all fine before you appeared uninvited.”
“You think I don’t know what’s going on here? You in your little huddles, judging everyone else, so far up your own asses—”
“I think we learned that one from you,” Tripp said. “You want to make something of this? We’ll go down to the beach right now, you and me. Talk it out.”
Yeah, talking would be secondary on that agenda.
“Tripp—”
“Nah, Struan, how many times have you handed him his ass and he still doesn’t get the message? He wants a fight, I’ll take a turn at bat.”
“Tripp,” Roxie whispered.
His eyes stayed on Roman. “Like you said, Rox Out, single without blood.”
“That wasn’t what I meant.”
“Come on, this is what he does,” Tripp said completely impervious. “Shouts the odds, thinks if he swears enough, he’ll scare everyone off. I have six older brothers.” He scoffed. “This guy’s a fucking amateur. We want to talk who has the most experience here? I’ll fight him ‘til the fucking sun rises. Let him embarrass himself, why not?”
Roman opened his arms, backing off a couple of steps at the same time Zane’s hand slid onto her shoulder.
“You’re all just fucking jealous. Think I’m all done? You thought I was washed out?”
“No, we thought you were coked up.”
“Roman!”
That unexpected bark came a breath before an older man appeared storming across the kitchen. With some extra weight around his belly, he wasn’t old, old, maybe in his fifties, but he carried a hell of a bluster.
“Magnus, fuck off out of here,” Roman said without turning around. “I told you I was coming to tell them.”
“And I told you we need to talk strategy,” Magnus said, stopping at his side. “This role will put you back on top, get your face out there again, wipe out some of the bullshit from the past.”
The past being a couple of nights ago? From what she’d seen, Roman wasn’t the most stable even if he was sober. Though she hadn’t got a definitive answer on his level of intoxication.
“What is it?” she asked. “The role?”
“Lead in an action show,” Struan answered.
“Yeah,” Roman crowed. “Lead, baby, it’s all about me.” Like the guy needed to say that out loud. Their pleasant night had been disrupted by his ego and there was little chance of them getting it back. “I call the shots.”
“The press are getting here day after tomorrow.”
“Excuse me?” Zane asked. “The press?”
“And there goes our privacy,” Roxie said, sliding both arms around Zairn to hold herself against him.
His fingers combed into her hair. “If you want to get out of here, we can be gone in a couple of hours.”
When Roxie’s eyes opened, they landed on her.
“Zairn—”
“No,” Roxie said. “We can stay. I won’t abandon my girl… I may even call reinforcements.”
“He’s signing the paperwork next week, meeting in Honolulu.”
“So you invite the press into everyone’s privacy, but keep the high-hats out of reach?”
“They won’t want to travel further than necessary,” Zairn said, his voice growly. Roman had insulted Roxie, it wasn’t a surprise Zairn wasn’t amused. If it wasn’t for the woman literally holding onto him, he may not be so calm. “It’s already a long jaunt from LA.”
“You can’t leave the island to sign anything in Honolulu,” Struan said. “What about your adoring fans? The contest winners. You’ve already neglected them.” Which could be a story in itself. Maybe. What did she know about the world’s appetite for scandal? “And we don’t want the press talking to them.”
“It doesn’t matter, the contest women have all signed NDAs,” Magnus said. “We’ll remind them of that before the media get here.”
“Is it smart to do the press before the paperwork is signed?”
“Who said the press were allowed to come here?” Zane said. “I don’t want those hoards on my island.”
“It’s like three people,” Magnus said. “They’re covering the comeback and will follow his progress through to filming season one.” What a lot of fun… for someone else. “We already have the social influencer people here, what’s another couple of bodies matter? Besides, we’ll keep them apart from everything else. Maybe do a little gladhanding as a sidepiece, but we want it to be about Roman and him getting in shape to take on this grueling role.”
“Him getting in shape,” Tripp said on another snicker and as his attention went to Struan, so did everyone else’s.
Struan himself didn’t flinch. “You want to think about this, whether it’s smart to take on something this big right now, Ro.”
“What the fuck do you know?” Roman strolled right on up to the table to snatch up a glass of punch, her glass, but it wasn’t like she was going back to it.
He gulped it down, then sneered at it.
“Yeah, sorry,” Roxie said with sarcasm, not contrition. “Some people know how to have a good time without libation. Must be a turn up for you.”
“You want to learn to keep your mouth shut.”
“I don’t,” Roxie said. “Though if we’re passing out advice, I’d tell you to get sober, lose a few pounds, and maybe even appreciate the people around you who give you everything.”
“What do you know?” Roman snapped.
“Plenty.” Roxie’s arms dropped and she turned to lean back on Zairn. “And I also know you got this role by the grace of God and you’re destined to fuck it up no matter what you think now.”
“You—”
“Let’s not get antagonistic,” Magnus said, patting Roman’s back. “Let’s sit down together and work this out. There’s got to be a solution that suits everyone. How about we take the winners with us to Honolulu? They won’t pass up a chance at a night on the town with Roman, will they?”
No, but maybe they should.
“Is it safe?” she asked.
“We always make sure Roman’s…” Magnus trailed off to glance around. “Who are you?”
All that had gone down so far and he was only just noticing her presence?
“No one.”
“Not no one,” Zane was quick to follow up.
“I’m connected to one of your adoring fans,” she said. “So I have a vested interest in keeping those women safe. I’m not sure I’d trust Roman to hold my purse, let alone protect my sister. He must attract all kinds of negative attention.”
And she didn’t want Alessia anywhere near it. People might think fame was cool, but she viewed it from a different angle and saw its dangers, not its virtues.
“We’ll keep her safe,” Roxie said. “We’ll go along. Chaperone.”
“Is there a Crimson in Honolulu?”
“Not yet,” Roxie said. “But Rouge have clubs and bars all over.”
“Who says I want to go to your shithole places?”
“Who said you were invited?”
“Okay,” Zane said, sliding in front of her. “This is going nowhere.”
“It’s going plenty somewhere,” Magnus said. “We chill, get a schedule for show prep going, the press shows up, do their interviews, see what they want, then Roman does O’ahu. It’ll be fun.”
For who? Though spending time in Honolulu might be fun, she couldn’t think of anyone she’d least rather do it with. Roman Lowe was not a glittering star, grateful for his fans, she wasn’t even sure he was a good person. From what she’d seen so far, the needle didn’t swing in his favor.
That said, she wouldn’t leave Alessia to his mercy. If there was going to be a trip, she’d be on the plane, next to the sister who adored the illusion of this man. Honestly, there should be some repercussions for selling the world such a bill of goods. This wasn’t a man worthy of being idolized. After his actions on the island alone, he’d be better locked up.
Although a sense of expectation hung in the air, like maybe there was more drama to come, she couldn’t sit there all night.
“I should get going.” She stood up, finally, everyone else was already on their feet. Zane didn’t see her as a no one, but it was obvious why the others would. “Thank you for dinner.”
Roxie came around to kiss her cheek and give her a hug. “You can stay, if you want to stay. There’s plenty of room here.”
“No, I want to get back to my sister.” She smiled at the men, the ones she’d had dinner with, the others she avoided. “It was nice to meet you all.”
Zane put an arm around her and she didn’t mind leaning on him as they made their way through the house to the front door.
He opened a closet and produced a light jacket. “Here, put this on. I don’t want you to get cold.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said, but threaded her arms into the sleeves anyway. “And you don’t have to escort me, I can make my way back—”
“Are you kidding? You’re my excuse to get the hell out of this madhouse.”
“It’s your house,” she said.
As he opened the door, she slipped through it.
“It’s Roxie’s house right now, and the mad thing suits her.”
“Do you think Zairn is still angry?”
“Yes,” he said, helping her into the cart.
No equivocation or hesitation.
“Would he hurt him?”
Zane came around to his side to start them moving. “Zairn Lomond has a long memory and a lot of friends. Roman forgets that too often.” Sliding closer, she held his arm when his hand went to her knee. “I’m sorry about tonight.”
“Sorry, why?” she asked as they drove through the main gate. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Though it was clear why he’d think she might believe that. “I said I was sorry for the other night, but I will keep saying it. I know now you weren’t responsible for what happened. You were with me, you had no idea he’d—”
“People enable him, you’re right about that. He has squads of flunkies running around cleaning up his messes. He’s used to doing what he wants, when he wants. I was only persuaded to let him even come here—”
“Because you thought his volatility was in his past.”
“And because I na?vely thought he’d be easier to control here. We think we control things, control him, but he always finds a way to screw things up for everyone else while he comes up smelling like roses.”
Lights warmed the road ahead, with more distance between them than regular streetlights, their color was warmer too. Funny the things she hadn’t considered, yet Zane deemed important. Lighting the road made everything safer and gave her a sense of security.
“I had no idea he had an identical twin.”
“It’s not a secret, but it’s not declared on the loudspeaker either.” Which meant superfans, and probably Alessia, would know. “Struan does all Roman’s stunt work, body doubles, you know any of the dangerous things Roman would have to be sober and sensible for.”
Ah! Hence Tripp’s amused outrage over the suggestion Roman would have to get in shape for the role.
“I feel sorry for him,” she admitted, her head sinking against him. “It must feel like his only value is what he can do for his brother.”
“Struan’s always been okay. He takes things in stride, doesn’t overthink them. He’s smarter than Roman, more honest, more honorable, but, yeah, we talk about it sometimes.”
“Talk about it?”
“Where will he be in five years? In ten? In twenty? His life, his daily purpose, is to be whatever Roman needs him to be. He works with him, lives with him, covers his ass on an hourly basis. If it wasn’t for Struan, Roman wouldn’t have any kind of career.”
“You’d never know it from the way they interact. Roman shows no gratitude.”
“Gratitude is something Roman was born without. Struan’s been doing this his whole life. Might say he doesn’t know any different.”
Sibling relationships could be complicated. Sometimes there was competition or one was valued and encouraged more than another. Love might seem like a given, but it had to be earned, right along with respect.
They’d expended too much airtime on Roman Lowe, more than he should be due.
“Tripp’s interesting. Six older brothers?”
“And he’s not the youngest,” he said. “How does he know your ex?”
“I don’t know. As far as I know, we’ve never met before. Maybe he met Thom.”
Though why that would lead to Tripp knowing her, she had no idea. Especially when he said he never forgot a face. Didn’t that suggest they had met?
“I’ll call Thom when we get back to civilization.”
“Hey, now I never said that.” His smiling tone met her hair in a kiss. “I don’t want you rekindling anything.”
“He lives in New York now. We made our choices.” Though what did that say for them? Zane’s lack of response betrayed he had to be thinking the same thing. “Do you live here full-time? You said you have a house in LA?”
“We’re not in LA,” he said. “We’re in Northern California.”
“We?”
“Rourke and me. We own a compound that houses both DT and Mosaic, his company. We live and work there.” California. It wasn’t forever away. It was better than Australia or Europe… or Mars. “I can stay anywhere, Wanderer. Live anywhere, work anywhere—”
“We shouldn’t talk about this,” she said, grateful they were closing in on the lights of the resort.
“Baby—”
“No, sex head, remember?” She sat up straight to put a little distance between them. “It’s been an intense night, an intense few days.”
Though he stopped by the service door they usually used, his reluctance came in overshooting it, just a little, then grabbing her thigh before she could leap out.
“Will you think about it?”
Their eyes met and she couldn’t come up with anything. Think about it? She’d done nothing but think about it that day. A holiday romance could be frivolous. But she’d met his friends, people he considered family. She’d been in his house, made love on his roof. They weren’t frivolous anymore, if they ever had been.
Yes, it was like a dream, some wild fantasy that could never be reality, yet she’d lived it. And it wasn’t an illusion. It wasn’t a temporary vacation affair. This was his life. His family.
She swallowed and leaned in, holding his jaw to steady herself as she kissed him goodnight.
Think about it?
She slipped out of the cart and back into the hotel without another word. Her purpose was supposed to be protecting her sister, yet in that moment, she needed the grounding of her sibling. Alessia was real. Her touchstone to real life. Maybe getting back into sister mode for a while would be a hard reset and she’d start thinking clearly again… or she could just be sunk with no hope life-as-she’d-known-it would survive.